191–200 of 292 posts
Startups take a lot of time. As much as you can give. So do kids.
Time is measured out and cannot be consumed all at once for your startup or kids.
We can't expect people with kids to succeed in the startup world without kids and parents losing out.
Honestly, the real question in all of this is, Why have kids if you're not going to spend time with them and raise them while they're growing up? We already have too many people on the planet, yet it seems there are people who would rather hire nannies, to watch the kids while they both parents are workaholics. I guess I don't see the point.
The point is so people stop asking why you don’t have kids yet
We really need to get rid of this mindset, unless we are ok with the occasional population cull by war (we aren't, right?)
Kids are a distraction to intense work. At the same time, becoming a parent is a potential growth experience that is unrivaled and brings value. Healthy kids are a value to society. Non-parents benefit from a society full of healthy children. Parents should be rewarded--or at least equally as compensated--with pay and/or status that tracks with the successes those unburdened with parenting achieve.
> Kids are a distraction to intense work. For what it's worth, I've done my most intense productive work after having children.
Kids are a distraction to intense work. At the same time, becoming a parent is a potential growth experience that is unrivaled and brings value. Healthy kids are a value to society. Non-parents benefit from a society full of healthy children. Parents should be rewarded--or at least equally as compensated--with pay and/or status that tracks with the successes those unburdened with parenting achieve.
Most people have kids because they see it as a positive personal trade off (when you are older and you have a family that will come to visit you for example). Most people are not thinking about the benefits to society when they decide to have kids.
Kids are a distraction to intense work. At the same time, becoming a parent is a potential growth experience that is unrivaled and brings value. Healthy kids are a value to society. Non-parents benefit from a society full of healthy children. Parents should be rewarded--or at least equally as compensated--with pay and/or status that tracks with the successes those unburdened with parenting achieve.
Most people have kids because they see it as a positive personal trade off (when you are older and you have a family that will come to visit you for example). Most people are not thinking about the benefits to society when they decide to have kids.
Nowadays everyone in society is lured into higher education and paid work. They naturally grow their lifestyles to fit the dual income and things are looking good. Then all of a sudden they're running out of time to reproduce but now nobody has any time to dedicate to it.
Where did it all go wrong? Women are trading husbands for bosses. Seeking freedom as a gear in the corporate machine, working to line the pockets of billionaires instead of cleaning their own houses, cooking their own food and, yes, raising their own children.
Expect more and more women to come forward as they realise that choosing to be a wage slave probably wasn't the best idea after all.
> Everyone knows kids consume your time. But what people without kids may not realize is the extent to which people with kids want their time to be consumed by them. This is one of the hardest parts of parenthood to communicate to non-parents: Yes, children demand a lot of time and attention. However, as a parent you actually enjoy spending that time with your children. To the author's point: Different people will wa…
I think a lot of that comes from parents often expressing all the negatives of parenthood rather than the positives. Even the ones who love spending time with their kids, in my experience, talk more about how much attention the kids need, taking them to school, the diaper changes, the crying, and so on. This isn't to say that all parents are like this; I've met some really passionate parents, and my parents relished…
Trying to describe the way time comes to a complete stop when your infant child gazes into your eyes and you look back and you feel a connection that quite literally can't be put into words, makes it really hard to talk to people about it. On the other hand almost everyone can imagine what it would be like to have to deal with that same infant having an explosive bowel movement that exceeds the capacity of their diaper to contain it. And so, when pressed to talk about something related to child rearing people fall back on the sleepless nights (we've all been tired), the crying, the dirty diapers, etc. Because talking about the good feels like trying to describe falling in love to someone who's never done that before.
With that said, I generally try to catch myself these days when I am unfairly weighing one side of the equation and express what an absolute blessing having kids has been and how much richer they've made my life. I think many (most) people who have kids feel the same.
We can’t expect more women to succeed in the startup world until we’re able to talk honestly about how much harder startups are for those who want to spend a lot of time with their kids. I think the expectation of being able to do both is quite unfair, at least the expectation of being able to do both well. There are many things that aren't compatible with being a cofounder. For example, you're not going to start a s…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
The point is so people stop asking why you don’t have kids yet
Which is basically code for they'd consider you two levels higher status if you had. We really need to get rid of this mindset, unless we are ok with the occasional population cull by war (we aren't, right?)
Or a pandemic.
Honestly, the real question in all of this is, Why have kids if you're not going to spend time with them and raise them while they're growing up? We already have too many people on the planet, yet it seems there are people who would rather hire nannies, to watch the kids while they both parents are workaholics. I guess I don't see the point.
The point is so people stop asking why you don’t have kids yet