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Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

femfosec.com

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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#191

Post by africanboy »

Karawebnetwork wrote: post #173
dcow wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My point is not that these behaviors are inherently those of a man. It’s that success should be defined much more broadly than “things men traditionally do”. I think we are in agreement on that I may have not done the best job at capturing the point.

But is being a start-up founder really something that men traditionally do or is it a completely new role that people of all genders can aim for? This role can be toxic and lead to problematic behaviours that can worsen a person's personal life and mental health, regardless of their gender identity.

it's something that men have traditionally done, yes.

it's like the beard, it's traditionally something that, in general, men have and women don't.

that doesn't mean that things can't change in the future and that the change won't be for the better.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#192

Post by everdrive »

foolinaround wrote: post #141
dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

this is also a big reason why several women who have chosen to stay home and look after family and kids feel unfulfilled because many of their peers are seen as more valuable by society. The reason for this unhappiness is then portrayed as the inability of the women to not have a career. it is often, the other way around.

Joke's on both parties, huh? Can you imagine feeling particular pride because you are important in some random company?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#194

Post by david-gpu »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #149
munificent wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> it would be irresponsible for us to adopt while both of us are working. You are falling into the classic nerd trap which is doing an absolute evaluation when you should be making a relative comparison. The question is not, "Can I raise this adopted child in the optimal way?" The question is, "Will I raise this child at least as good as the other parents they are likely to end up with instead?" It's not like if you…

I have learned that making relative comparisons is useless if you are not at the average. If you are more capable than the average person, sure you can settle for an around average outcome, but that is very unsatisfying. The way I perceive things is that I'm going to do something, I'll do it really well or not at all.

Holding ourselves to impossibly high standards leads to dissatisfaction.

Accepting that we will sometimes be mediocre at what we do and knowing that we will do better over time is a healthier alternative.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#195

Post by Aaargh20318 »

smoldesu wrote: post #14

And people wonder why the birth rate is continuing to decline. Our nation-wide workaholism is making family life an increasingly distant fantasy. I've had this discussion with my S/O before, and we've always come to the same conclusion: it would be irresponsible for us to adopt while both of us are working. That's a difficult place to be in, considering we're both quite passionate about our jobs. It makes me quite de…

> And people wonder why the birth rate is continuing to decline

We’re at 7.8 billion humans on this planet and rising. I don’t think we have to worry about the birth rate declining. If anything, we should do everything in our power to lower it as much as we can.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#196

Post by leetcrew »

wwww4alll wrote: post #108
abellerose wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You might find the following interesting: https://thereader.mitpress.mit.edu/choosing-children-ethical... I, for one, would never bring another life into this world and while so much suffering occurs. It's ethical to adopt contrary to conceive children.

I am certain your parents had same ideas. Until they decided to have babies. Having kids is powerful natural drive after finding suitable enough mates. Statistically, you will have children in future, if you’re under 30 right now.

statistically, you will be attracted to women, if you're a man right now. and yet...

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#197

Post by neonate »

jurassic wrote: post #130

I feel like the moonshot or bust VC startup mindset is the problem here. The startup fantasy is that you're going to take investment to build a multi-billion dollar company. But most people don't need anything close to a billion dollars to do everything they want in life, so it's unfortunate that many peoples' idea of entrepreneurship is tangled up in this unicorn playbook. This version of entrepreneurship is just a…

The blog is about female founders specifically. What's wrong with that? If you're implying they shouldn't be founders, then what you're saying is patronizing, and if you're not, then it's off topic.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#198

Post by mattgreenrocks »

dheera wrote: post #32
rantwasp wrote: post #3

I empathize with how hard it is for a female founder in particular and for a woman in general when it comes to mixing children with a career. That said the advice to freeze your eggs (ie work now, live later) rubs me the wrong way. I wish we could live in a society where people would not have to work themselves to death and were able to... you know... enjoy life

Potentially controversial thought here, but I'd like to bring it up for discussion. I feel like the work ethic I see throughout the industry is extremely toxic to society, and leads to some of this. In China for example there's a so-called "996" work schedule (9am-9pm, 6 days a week) which is basically expected of everyone in tech, unfortunately, and it seems Silicon Valley is heading that direction as well with all…

Don't play zero-sum games with people who are willing to give up more than you. Are you precluding yourself from winning? Absolutely.

But what is the value of winning if you had to give up what you defined as too much?

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#199

Post by munk-a »

defen wrote: post #160
sokoloff wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"We" didn't decide as a society. Rather individual people (and couples) in society decided that they'd prefer to have additional income [and stimulation] by choosing to work outside the home. Collectively, that dramatically increased the labor supply as compared to 100 years ago as well as increased the demand for goods and services. I don't want to have us go back to the old way where it was looked down upon or judg…

Counterpoint: let's say I hate the effect that car-ownership has had on society - you can't just tell me "well then you should just choose not to own a car". The problem is that society itself has been reshaped around the assumption that essentially everyone has a car. For the vast majority of people in the vast majority of locations in the USA, it's simply not viable to live without a car, or ready access to one. Th…

I hate the effect that car-ownership has had on society and I refuse to own a car personally. I advocate for urban planning that reinforces walkable neighborhoods and tighter parking restrictions and choose to live in a city which isn't completely foot-friendly but is better than most. Choosing to live car-free does impose restrictions on my freedom of movement, but it only prevents me from going to places I have no desire to go to.

I'd also say it's absolutely fine to try and reshape all of society according to your whims - that's sort of what everyone is doing in a democracy constantly. Just don't get upset if some folks object and it doesn't work.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#200

Post by mfer »

elliekelly wrote: post #150
dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

> I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is fr…

> Why ask these questions only as they relate to women and motherhood? Why haven't men being presented a false promise that value and purpose is derived from work? Being a father without a snazzy career is equally (if not more so) frowned upon by plenty of people these days. I don't think that stigma is healthy, either. Why do men have to emulate other men to be "valuable"? Why do men have to avoid emulating women to be "valuable"?

+1000 this

Have you noticed that it's leaders focused on their businesses and capitalism that we turn to when we look for definition of value and purpose. Those folks who are looking for our productivity that feeds their wealth.

Maybe we should look for our value and priorities somewhere other than these folks.

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