A researcher on how to live a happy life • Hacker News Board

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#191

Post by slothtrop » Sat, Jul 04, 2020, 2:25 PM UTC

Thorentis wrote: post #162

slothtrop wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This seems like a murky area even for Catholics. My understanding was that it is still contingent on faith and all the rituals.

Yes, but the Catholic position is based on St James idea of "living faith". E.g. Faith without works is dead. It also is based on Jesus' instructions about "he who loves me, does my commands". The grace and love are free gifts, but what is love without good actions? The best analogy I can think of is if a husband says they love their wife, but they never help them, show affection, do anything to serve them, do they r…

At a glance it doesn't seem you're contradicting me but that faith stipulates following Biblical instruction. That describes the religion in practice, anyone that dons faith would do that (or portend to) as faith encapsulates all those ideas.

The notion that people should do good for its own sake doesn't really change the fact that it's the ticket for Catholicism. Conversely in, say, Calvinism nothing you do can guarantee Salvation.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#192

Post by edeion » Sat, Jul 04, 2020, 3:55 PM UTC

hugodutka wrote: post #135

tome wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it might be a joke.

At first I thought that parent didn't understand the joke. Now I think I might have not understood the meta-joke.

Yes, I think the parent is a /metajoke/ as you call it :) However, there are 3 threads around that miss the original author is poking fun there. I'd like to stress the structure of these 3 paragraphs:

  The first is that, [serious things with a reference] they think of the weather and fail to take account of other things, such as the fact that California is full of tedious hippies.
  The second, [serious things with a reference] [after a breakup] we’ll decide we never liked the person anyway.
  The third [serious things with a reference]. In other words, last night’s party was never as good as you think it was.

Given my HN karma, I won't dare end this comment with an attempt at being humorous. It would be akin to a HN suicide.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#193

Post by serniebanders » Mon, Jul 06, 2020, 4:40 PM UTC

eeh wrote: post #164

serniebanders wrote: post #75

I can confidently say that I am happy. Everybody close to me thinks that I was born happy and positive but they couldn't be more wrong. Achieving a permanent state of happiness took years of active mental exercises. Since I don't have any credible psychology background, nobody listens to my suggestions in real life. I doubt anybody would take me seriously here as well, but... all I have is time so this will help some…

> Since I don't have any credible psychology background, nobody listens to my suggestions in real life. The reason I prefer listening to researchers is because they study populations and try to account for confounding variables. I'm glad to hear you're happy, but I'm skeptical of how well you're able to attribute that to particular circumstances/actions.

I understand. Purely anecdotal:

This is probably a very bad thing to admit, but it is true in my case. Once I stopped listening to researchers and professionals, I started becoming truly happy. I feel like I'm making my own decisions. Doing research and weighing options leads to self doubt which leads me down a painful dilemma. Now I just experiment and make my own decisions that feels right and it is very empowering.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#194

Post by leoh » Mon, Jul 06, 2020, 9:19 PM UTC

throw975 wrote: post #105

whatshisface wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Jews (that abuse Palestinians) I'm not 100% sure that the Jewish religion can be associated with Israeli foreign policy. Israel would be fighting with Palestine whether any Jewish believers lived there or not.

I agree that the claim that All Jews are necessarily Pro-Israel is false. But I don't think that was what the author meant. His claim seemed more like "Israel is a Jewish state, and does misdeeds under that banner", which I don't think anyone would disagree with. https://www.vox.com/world/2018/7/31/17623978/israel-jewish-n...

Correct. Many Jews disagree with Israel's current relationships — and many early zionists like Herzl would likely disagree too.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#195

Post by javert » Tue, Jul 07, 2020, 5:21 PM UTC

at_a_remove wrote: post #154

Over the many, many years, I have thrashed around with ... well, almost every suggestion that usually comes up on these articles and threads responding to these articles, as well as many unorthodox ideas. The pills and the preaching, the assorted practices recommended and the acting, going through the motions of joy hoping something will catch, the focuses outside oneself cast like grappling hooks onto any ship not s…

Hey there. Not sure if you will see this since I'm late to the conversation, but here's a suggestion.

Just do what you want.

If you don't want to do anything, keep trying/looking for things. (Don't force yourself to 'enjoy' something. If you don't want to keep doing it after just a little while, it's not the solution, so stop.)

For me, it was video games. I loathed people who play video games. But for me, it was a starting point to start enjoying life again.

You have to start simple. More complex values come later, from having a simple foundation of simple values.

I don't want to trivialize your problems, but I just though I would share this since "Do what you want" is not advice I really ever see, so maybe you haven't tried it yet.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#196

Post by javert » Tue, Jul 07, 2020, 5:46 PM UTC

oh_sigh wrote: post #25

I have concerns about following advice people write about how to be happy. Why are they doing it? Is it because they are happy, and they want to spread it? If so, is it like a rich person writing on how to become rich? Maybe they tell you X,Y,Z that they think were important in becoming rich, but it was actually A,B,C that they were blind to. The worse alternative is if it is someone who was unhappy, and then did som…

This is why any argument anybody makes about anything needs to be supported by a causal explanation.

If there is at least an attempt at a causal explanation, you can evaluate whether or not the advice is worthwhile and/or applicable to your situation.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#197

Post by eeh » Wed, Jul 08, 2020, 12:51 PM UTC

serniebanders wrote: post #193

eeh wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Since I don't have any credible psychology background, nobody listens to my suggestions in real life. The reason I prefer listening to researchers is because they study populations and try to account for confounding variables. I'm glad to hear you're happy, but I'm skeptical of how well you're able to attribute that to particular circumstances/actions.

I understand. Purely anecdotal: This is probably a very bad thing to admit, but it is true in my case. Once I stopped listening to researchers and professionals, I started becoming truly happy. I feel like I'm making my own decisions. Doing research and weighing options leads to self doubt which leads me down a painful dilemma. Now I just experiment and make my own decisions that feels right and it is very empowering…

Anecdotally, I agree. :)

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#198

Post by at_a_remove » Fri, Jul 10, 2020, 7:26 PM UTC

javert wrote: post #195

at_a_remove wrote: post #154

Over the many, many years, I have thrashed around with ... well, almost every suggestion that usually comes up on these articles and threads responding to these articles, as well as many unorthodox ideas. The pills and the preaching, the assorted practices recommended and the acting, going through the motions of joy hoping something will catch, the focuses outside oneself cast like grappling hooks onto any ship not s…

Hey there. Not sure if you will see this since I'm late to the conversation, but here's a suggestion. Just do what you want. If you don't want to do anything, keep trying/looking for things. (Don't force yourself to 'enjoy' something. If you don't want to keep doing it after just a little while, it's not the solution, so stop.) For me, it was video games. I loathed people who play video games. But for me, it was a st…

This is one of the more frequent responses. It's in the "if nothing matters, then it doesn't matter what you do" group. Typically travel is suggested.

That would be interesting: a taxonomy of common responses to ongoing despair.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#199

Post by javert » Mon, Jul 13, 2020, 6:31 PM UTC

at_a_remove wrote: post #198

javert wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey there. Not sure if you will see this since I'm late to the conversation, but here's a suggestion. Just do what you want. If you don't want to do anything, keep trying/looking for things. (Don't force yourself to 'enjoy' something. If you don't want to keep doing it after just a little while, it's not the solution, so stop.) For me, it was video games. I loathed people who play video games. But for me, it was a st…

This is one of the more frequent responses. It's in the "if nothing matters, then it doesn't matter what you do" group. Typically travel is suggested. That would be interesting: a taxonomy of common responses to ongoing despair.

> if nothing matters, then it doesn't matter what you do

That is carrying an enormous amount of baggage that isn't in my suggestion.

Things do matter, and it does matter what you do. To say otherwise is both incorrect and too pessimistic about the human situation.

But, doing what you want is what makes anything matter. It's the solution to the "problem of meaning."

Most people just live their lives, getting barely enough of what they want to not become depressed and dysfunctional, but never actually figuring this out.

What you want is ultimately based in biology. A hungry person wants food; a thirsty person wants water. Of course, you are at a slightly higher level. But you have to look at your own desires to see what, specifically, you want. I would consider this to be a kind of hedonism (in the very technical sense of the term, without any other connotations, such moral looseness or depravity). I'm a long-term hedonist.

I wouldn't suggest anything specific for you (e.g. travel), because I don't know what you want to do. Travel definitely wouldn't suffice, for me. Like I said, for me, it is and was video games. I expect to move beyond that and want to achieve something more complex, eventually. I can feel that coming.

Also, yes, a taxonomy of common responses to despair would be interesting. Probably not helpful, but interesting.