”ssh?”
i.e., “Or not?”
Help me ask why you didn't just
191–200 of 363 posts
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#192My take from personal experience: Removing the "just" obviously makes it less condescending: => Why didn't you use sshd? Removing the "you" could make it less personal: => Why was sshd not used here? Removing the past-tense makes it more forward looking (the past can't be changed, but people often defend their past decisions especially because they are unchangeable, the future however is less threatening): => Could s…
Personally I hate it when my PRs come back like this. I made a PR so my code and my decisions could be reviewed and critiqued. If you have some criticism, just tell me what it is and why you think that. I have learnt so much from highly critical PRs, I hate to think where I’d be without them. Personally I think it’s much more productive to create a culture where criticism is made openly and without being taken as a p…
Thank you, I appreciate your take on this. I personally also like to learn from criticism, but it took me a long time to be able to accept it better. I try to get to know the other developers first to get a feeling for whether or not they're used to accepting criticism. If the other person becomes defensive I try to be more careful, if they seem more accepting I will continue being critical.
Usually I would be more openly critical if someone is more experienced.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#193My take from personal experience: Removing the "just" obviously makes it less condescending: => Why didn't you use sshd? Removing the "you" could make it less personal: => Why was sshd not used here? Removing the past-tense makes it more forward looking (the past can't be changed, but people often defend their past decisions especially because they are unchangeable, the future however is less threatening): => Could s…
The article is trying to ask "assuming I don't know better than the developer, and SSHD genuinely wasn't the right fit, how can I enquire about the reasons without seeming critical?"
Your comment comes across as the opposite; "without knowing or caring about the reasons, how can I communicate that I know better and that SSHD should have been used - but dodge looking smug by asking it opaquely?"
> Why was sshd not used here? - demanding and aggressive phrasing.
> Could sshd be used here? - "Yes. Anything could be used anywhere. If you have a point to go with that bikeshedding, please make it"
> Would there be any tradeoffs using sshd here? - "Of course there would be. Moving on.."
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#194Add another sentence. Preface with your actual reaction. The subtext can be avoided better being explicit than being clever with your wording.
I mostly agree. But I think making it explicit that sshd is your idea and the implementation is their idea does a lot to make both parties territorial and perhaps oppositional.
I also prefer taking the altruistic approach in most cases. But it occurs to me: if the obvious solution were the best one, would there even be a problem to discuss? ;)
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#195I try to approach every technical conversation using an Assumption of Competence approach. This means I assume (a) the person you are speaking with has a greater domain knowledge than you,(b)knew what they were doing when they did it, and (c) applied that knowledge successfully.
I then ask questions accordingly. For example, "What would happen if we used sshd here?"
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#196"My first instinct is to use sshd. Have you tried that already?” I use phrasing like that and "My knee jerk reaction is..." etc. intentionally because (a) it's accurate context and (b) it allows the person to wave it away casually if it's irrelevant. In any case, I find that the conversation remains both polite and productive.
Why give anyone the opportunity to wave away your ideas? :) I don’t think the other person should be respected at your own expense.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#197My take from personal experience: Removing the "just" obviously makes it less condescending: => Why didn't you use sshd? Removing the "you" could make it less personal: => Why was sshd not used here? Removing the past-tense makes it more forward looking (the past can't be changed, but people often defend their past decisions especially because they are unchangeable, the future however is less threatening): => Could s…
Personally I hate it when my PRs come back like this. I made a PR so my code and my decisions could be reviewed and critiqued. If you have some criticism, just tell me what it is and why you think that. I have learnt so much from highly critical PRs, I hate to think where I’d be without them. Personally I think it’s much more productive to create a culture where criticism is made openly and without being taken as a p…
I'm aware of an unofficial convention in some US government departments - if you have a small round green sticker on your pass, then you are opting in as someone who can handle un-sugar coated discussion.
It's a great system - you occasionally see someone pause momentarily to check that everyone in the group has a sticker before saying "well, that was a clusterfuck wasn't it".
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#198This about the non verbal communications of tone and gesture. No amount of rewording will substitute for a smile.
Not everyone knows how to use non-verbal communication, either. Hopefully most of the people discussing this get that non-verbal is Plan A; and careful re-wording is Plan B, for when Plan A falls through.
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#199"Have you considered using sshd in this case?"
Re: Help me ask why you didn't just
#200I love how this conversation is becoming a model of itself! People proposing solutions in contrast to others, some taking their own advice and others falling into the same trap O.P. brought up in the first place!