The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet? • Hacker News Board

Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?

#191

Post by crimsonalucard » Tue, Jan 08, 2019, 11:04 PM UTC

fenwick67 wrote: post #117

simonh wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then what is it? Jordan Peterson, who for a long time I wrote off as a crackpot until I actually paid attention to some of his interviews and lectures, talks a lot about this. Happiness is a pretty crappy goal to have. It's a side effect of pursuing actual, worthwhile goals. People need to take some responsibility for their own state of mind and the things they are choosing to do that affect it.

This makes perfect sense, it explains why successful people are never sad!

You sound like a really sad person. Best wishes to you. I hope you can become a happier person and stop using sarcasm to express your sadness to other people.

Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?

#192

Post by magduf » Tue, Jan 08, 2019, 11:57 PM UTC

BrandonMarc wrote: post #125

apohn wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Money gave me stability. The lows are very different when you have money and when you don't have money. When you are struggling financially and a single event (e.g. car breaking down) can spiral into wrecking your entire life, you it's hard to "let go" of that. When you are financially stable there are a lot of frustrations (e.g. work stress) you can learn to cope with, control, or let go of.

I always liked how Dave Ramsey explained it. * If you're broke and the car breaks down, it's both a car crisis and an extra financial crisis (need money to fix the car). * If you have enough money saved and the car breaks down, it's merely a car crisis ... and, given that you're capable of fixing the car, it's less of a crisis, at that. The whole dynamic changes.

Even better is if you live in a place where you don't need a car, and can happily take public transit to get to work because the local government invested in subways. Then you don't have to worry about your car breaking down and ruining your day or worse.

Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?

#193

Post by Raphmedia » Wed, Jan 09, 2019, 4:08 PM UTC

magduf wrote: post #192

BrandonMarc wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always liked how Dave Ramsey explained it. * If you're broke and the car breaks down, it's both a car crisis and an extra financial crisis (need money to fix the car). * If you have enough money saved and the car breaks down, it's merely a car crisis ... and, given that you're capable of fixing the car, it's less of a crisis, at that. The whole dynamic changes.

Even better is if you live in a place where you don't need a car, and can happily take public transit to get to work because the local government invested in subways. Then you don't have to worry about your car breaking down and ruining your day or worse.

This makes more sense for small countries.

For example, I live in Canada and unless you life in the capital of the province everything is really far away.

A lot of people live in cheap apartment blocks of rural areas and it can be a walk of pretty much an hour to get to the groceries store. There is public transit but it's usually every few hours instead of a constant traffic, so you have to plan your entire day around it.

I do agree with your main point that public transit should be one of the main investment of a country.

Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?

#194

Post by magduf » Wed, Jan 09, 2019, 8:52 PM UTC

Raphmedia wrote: post #193

magduf wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even better is if you live in a place where you don't need a car, and can happily take public transit to get to work because the local government invested in subways. Then you don't have to worry about your car breaking down and ruining your day or worse.

This makes more sense for small countries. For example, I live in Canada and unless you life in the capital of the province everything is really far away. A lot of people live in cheap apartment blocks of rural areas and it can be a walk of pretty much an hour to get to the groceries store. There is public transit but it's usually every few hours instead of a constant traffic, so you have to plan your entire day arou…

Most people in the Americas live in cities, and that number is constantly increasing with urbanization. With proper urban planning and funding, public transit in the US/Canada could be far better than it is, and a useful way of getting around. But there seems to be no political will to do this. Cities in Europe are far better laid out and planned, with mixed-use development (shops on the ground floor, apartments on top), but North America seems to be allergic to this and wants subdivisions with McMansions instead.

Re: The money, job, marriage myth: are you happy yet?

#195

Post by dragonsngoblins » Thu, Jan 10, 2019, 4:44 AM UTC

chongli wrote: post #119

Liquix wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some people's brain chemistry makes feeling happiness much more difficult. Some people with clinical depression will physically never experience happiness the same way others do. That's true and valid. But does that really mean that being happy is not a choice? A paraplegic is unable to choose to move their legs due to a medical condition - would they assert that 'moving your legs is not a choice'?

I'm extremely skeptical of the brain chemistry narrative. It doesn't explain why depression is growing rapidly in the Western world. It doesn't explain why antidepressants vary so widely in their efficacy between persons. I'm far more apt to believe that people's lives are getting worse and that they're depressed as a result. People are lonelier than ever and society's problems are bigger and more abstract than ever.…

It is easy to explain why antidepressants vary wildly even if all depression is caused by issues in brain chemistry: the constellation of symptoms we define as "depression" is actually several different illnesses that respond to different treatments.

This is why when people start on antidepressants it is a process of trying different ones until they find one that works.