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Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

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Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#191

Post by philipodonnell »

magduf wrote: post #78
awacs wrote: post #51

The country being so politically polarized isn't helping. It's to the point where most only want to socialize with people in the same "tribe". For better or worse.

It's not great, and I think it shows our society is fracturing and collapsing, but I don't want to socialize much with any Trump voters either. I have enough problems; I don't need someone spouting insane conspiracy theories to me about how 9/11 was "an inside job", Sandy Hook never happened, etc.

> I don't need someone spouting insane conspiracy theories to me

Perhaps, but it may also help that person realize there are normal people in real life who don't share those ideas, despite being told that anyone they disagree with is a horrible person.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#192

Post by chiefofgxbxl »

1auralynn wrote: post #153
bertjk wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I kind of agree with you, but what does positive "coordinated social change" look like? I can only think of negative ones, like those that occurred with radical political changes, or else explicit/thinly-veiled marketing campaigns for consumer goods..

Redesigning neighborhoods to be walkable not driveable. Rezoning so that more businesses can open near residential areas, so people can walk or bike to work, walk to get groceries, etc. More people around leads to more serendipitous interactions, maybe improved safety. I guess that's not really coordinated social change, but I think tweaks to the context in which we live can have huge, positive social impacts.

There's a nice virtue to this, also. Build walkable and bike-able places and you're building public spaces to be shared. If you only embrace a car-driven model of development, "public" spaces are to be competed for (e.g. you stole my parking spot, you cut me off, you're in front of me driving too slowly, etc.)

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#193

Post by sicromoft »

While loneliness is a real and important problem, there's good reason to be skeptical about it being an "epidemic". The Cigna study is incredibly flawed:

http://andrewgelman.com/2018/05/09/43-loneliest-number-youll...

Journalists (like David Brooks in the New York Times) are getting it very wrong as well:

http://andrewgelman.com/2018/05/16/no-no-epidemic-loneliness...

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#194

Post by chiefalchemist »

Rotdhizon wrote: post #9

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

> "Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized..."

I agree there's some truth to this. But even more so think it's simply a lost art. Why strike up a cheap quick chat when all you have to do is stare at your device.

I'm old school (read: over 50 y/o white male) and I interact with people all the time. But it a skill to read someone and ideally make them laugh / smile.

I think you also have to have a certain amount of empathy (which I feel most ppl lack). "Hey. Nice shoes." or "I like you jacket" goes a long way. But that's more than clicking an icon. And it means you're taking a __small__ risk to engage someone else instead of waiting to have your own ego stroked.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#195

Post by mLuby »

awacs wrote: post #51

The country being so politically polarized isn't helping. It's to the point where most only want to socialize with people in the same "tribe". For better or worse.

Respectfully, that's such bullshit. I rarely discuss politics with more than a few close friends; there are so many more interesting things to talk about! Separate your identity from The Party.

TL;DR: exit the media circuses and connect on a human level.

/grump

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#196

Post by androidgirl »

Torwald wrote: post #179
androidgirl wrote: post #166

I'm 21 years old, I grew up online. I started on myspace and chat via gmail, eventually moving to Facebook. Fast forward through an early highschool graduation, and taking most college classes online: I have no idea how on Earth I am to socialize with people in the real world. I quit and deactivated Facebook in January, and since I have felt so truly alone. Each day I ride an uber to my dev job, work mostly by myself…

> rarely speak with the drivers because it feels so awkward and strange If you decide to not do something just because it feels strange, you will limit your growth in many ways. Everything you haven't done very often feels strange. Step out of your so-called comfort zone, make that a habit.

Entirely fair criticism and I am aware that the isolation I am in is self imposed, at least to a degree! Thank you.

I am reasonably good at pushing myself at other things, like my career or learning new things. I just need to take that step with my social anxiety as well.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#197

Post by smacktoward »

claydavisss wrote: post #170
sp332 wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Public health crises require coordinated social change.

Go watch the movie The Godfather. Find the part where Don Corleone slaps a crying Johnny Fontaine across the face and yells: "You could be a man!" Watch this as many times as you need to. In the nineteenth century, teenagers were trekking across the continent with young wives and children in tow. Look at where we have arrived: mewling man-children. Go join the Marines.

TIL someone could watch The Godfather and come away thinking of Don Corleone as a role model.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#198

Post by inetknght »

nicoburns wrote: post #23
coryfklein wrote: post #15

For a long time I've been wanting a "Tinder For Platonic Adults" app. I'm not looking for romance or sex, but I want to find nearby matches with similar interests; do you drink, play board games, are you married, how many kids and what age? There are likely tens of matches for me within a 5 minute drive, I just don't know how to find them . I'm a friendly guy and would love to have that friend that feels comfortable…

Meetup can be good for this.

Can be does not mean it is. I've used Meetup for a couple years now. It's more spammy than Facebook. Big groups have leaders who don't listen, niche groups are led by marketing people.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#200

Post by s73v3r_ »

emiliobumachar wrote: post #75
wmichelin wrote: post #7

Has anyone else noticed that clicking on this link causes them to be logged in as "Pam" on the site? That doesn't seem great...

Might be a dark pattern. To nudge you to create an account to make the world right again.

That's what I was supposed to do? I just legally changed my name to Pam.
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