Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago • Hacker News Board

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#191

Post by pbhjpbhj » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:03 PM UTC

komali2 wrote: post #172

otakucode wrote: post #163

This is a bad thing. Children are being straight up stifled and their ability to develop independence being actively and aggressively destroyed. We will pay a very steep price for this.

I've been tossing this idea around actually. Gotta find some way to put my anthropology minor to use :P All unsourced speculative thoughts: So, traditionally, across all early human civilizations (including pre-ag revolution), my understanding is that kids weren't "raised" by their parents - everyone just kind of hung out in their villages, doing misc tasks/work, while the children ran free. The "raising" was done by…

You appear to be describing the difference between a communist society and a capitalist one.

The elders, and everyone, helps to raise the child in the "agrarian" because they realise the benefit acrues to all of society, and they have humanity; the modern way is to not do it because you can do other stuff that makes you more profit and puts you ahead of the others.

People in "The West" are much more involved in competing against other people rather than cooperating with them.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#192

Post by j_s » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:03 PM UTC

Is there any evaluation of quality vs quantity?

Technology adds more and more distractions, reducing effects of physical presence.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#193

Post by Jill_the_Pill » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:04 PM UTC

nshelly wrote: post #166

kelukelugames wrote: post #5

> One analysis of 11 rich countries estimates that the average mother spent 54 minutes a day caring for children in 1965 but 104 minutes in 2012. Men do less than women, but far more than men in the past: their child-caring time has jumped from 16 minutes a day to 59. I spend 100+ minutes every day changing diapers. Actually that's not true, most of my time is spent trying to put the stupid newborn to go to sleep. I…

I would also suggest finding a quiet, dark place near your house where you can go on a walk with your infant. As I walked around the neighborhood, she went from refershed by the air, to a bit annoyed that she wasn't able to move around much - I'm sure some neighbors heard protest crying - to dazed and then resigned to close the eyes. I got upwards of 10,000 steps every night just walking around with her, and learned…

These are great suggestions, but I am going to add my own, as an experienced mother of three. Whenever the getting-to-sleep process starts, once you've gotten comfortable, baby in arms or in the stroller, you have to let your mind wander, even if you're rocking or singing a little sleepy song. Babies can tell when you're sitting there thinking "is he asleep yet? how about now? what if we're up all night?" As long as your attention is in the room, the baby will be alert. Cast your mind outside of the house, think about the yard and the street, then just let your thoughts wander, almost as if you yourself were drifting off. You'll be boring, and the baby will fall asleep.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#194

Post by yourapostasy » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:09 PM UTC

robertwiblin wrote: post #64

"One of Galinsky's more surprising findings centered around a question she posed to both children and parents: "If you were granted one wish to change the way your mother's/your father's work affects your life, what would that wish be?" Some 56 percent of parents anticipated that their children would want more time with their parents and for their parents to spend less time at work, yet only 10 percent of the childre…

I see this as an indictment of the common business management tactic world-wide to externalize the costs of rising expectations placed upon employees, without compensation, under the "do more with less" rubric. When even the children can see what is plainly in front of them, and express in honest language that their parents are bringing home work responsibilities and concerns, then the economic platform should be re-examined.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#195

Post by icebraining » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:11 PM UTC

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #167

icebraining wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I lived in a city (pop. 100k) and most preteens and older walked alone. You don't need a village, just safe roads (single lane, limited speeds) and parks spread throughout the city so that people (young and old) are around.

When was that.

Late 90s/early 2000s. But my younger brother did the same for the past eight years.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#196

Post by rconti » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:12 PM UTC

Consultant32452 wrote: post #133

xutopia wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Parents are beat. Both my now ex-wife and I had a burnout in the last 2 years. Work demands are higher than ever and our kids were also demanding. /edit The reason we're on our phones is that we're just too damn tired to interact with humans properly.

>Work demands are higher than ever I suspect you meant this within the context of your own life, but historically that's almost certainly untrue. 50 years ago you likely would've had a job doing much more grueling work in less comfortable conditions. Conversely, your ex-wife would not have had an income producing job at all and after the age of 4-5 would've sent the kid outside for significant portions of the day.

More grueling work, but likely left AT work. No bringing work home with you. Likely less job stress at home as well, though it might be replace by financial stress.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#197

Post by rconti » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:14 PM UTC

callmeed wrote: post #118

learc83 wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Most Kindergartens in the US now are half-day The trend is towards full day Kindergarten not the other direction. More than half of Kindergarten programs are full day now, which is much higher than 50 years ago.

My bad. At least where I live (California central coast), all public school Kindergartens are half-day. The only full-day options are private school.

When I was a kid, in the 80s, our public schools were half-day kindergarten as well (Washington).

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#198

Post by conanbatt » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:14 PM UTC

bpicolo wrote: post #181

conanbatt wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Dont worry dad, I'll know how to pick locks in a sec"

"Oh man who snuck in and welded the thing shut and buried it under 5 feet of concrete? What are the odds?"

I told you, its an exciting time to be a parent.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#199

Post by Jill_the_Pill » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:15 PM UTC

junkscience2017 wrote: post #22

tomc1985 wrote: post #2

Probably because helicopter parenting is in vogue (at least in the US). It is seriously messed up that you can have CPS called on you for letting your kid wander freely in the neighborhood

I can't get my kids out of the house. I try. All of their friends are on SnapChat and/or Steam games. No one leaves their rooms. It is really depressing. Kids are not getting fresh air anymore.

Ah, even that's a phase. Wait 'til they get a girlfriend/boyfriend and a taste of freedom. Suddenly it's all bus passes and coffee shops and wandering around downtown in every weather. Can't get them home.

(But when they are home, yeah, it's text text text.)

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#200

Post by themaninthedark » Tue, Nov 28, 2017, 9:15 PM UTC

seanmcdirmid wrote: post #33

baldfat wrote: post #7

The problem is that 90% of the time the parents are now on their phones. Seriously I find myself on my phone and not interacting with my kids at times and I am super sensitive about phones. I don't allow phones during meals, during family time and not when someone is talking with you. I break my own rules a ton :(

My 11 month old already sees my iPhone as a threat and goes for it with his teeth whenever he sees me using it. Or he just wants to play with it himself; at anyrate it is very difficult to use my phone around him now.

I think you are making a joke but it is the latter case. He see you using it so he knows it must be important! and his primary tool for figuring out the world is his mouth!