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The Top Idea in Your Mind

paulgraham.com

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Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#191

Post by Mz »

Kaizyn wrote: post #126
Mz wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For many situations, having really good radar so you know how to avoid stepping in it before it puts you on a slippery slope is the only hope of avoiding the necessity to take a stand. I'm fortunate in that I seem to have a natural knack for such things (and have intentionally honed it with both formal and informal study). Of course, one problem with being good at something like that is that it essentially cannot be…

Good radar or no, you still have to keep an eye out for the unknowable "black swans". In any case, good radar for trouble just means you've traded away most of the peace of mind that comes with obliviousness in exchange for an unquantifiable reduction in hassles.

you've traded away most of the peace of mind that comes with obliviousness in exchange for an unquantifiable reduction in hassles.

There is some truth to that. I do, at times, fret too much. So there is some cost in terms of peace of mind. However, even though I cannot prove to other people that there is a cause and effect relationship (between my actions and specific outcomes) and even though the reduction in hassles cannot be quantified with exactitude, that doesn't mean I cannot quantify it sufficiently to conclude that the benefit is well worth the cost.

For example: My divorce was amicable and there were no lawyers. IIRC, the average cost of a divorce lawyer when and where I got divorced was $18,000. No, I can't know if I "would" have spent $5000 or $18,000 or $40,000. I can know that I saved thousands of dollars on lawyers fees by having an amicable divorce. I am also very certain that it benefited me by more than that: I got thousands more from my husband than I was legally entitled to. My husband was not a wealthy man. After paying lawyers, there wouldn't have been that much to fight over. (He had a job, we had a bunch of debts and some household possessions.) I have every reason to believe that the approach I took was all to the good. Can I prove that to skeptics beyond a shadow of a doubt? No. Can I measure it with a high degree of confidence for my own peace of mind? Yes.

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#192

Post by Mz »

conesus wrote: post #121
Mz wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For many situations, having really good radar so you know how to avoid stepping in it before it puts you on a slippery slope is the only hope of avoiding the necessity to take a stand. I'm fortunate in that I seem to have a natural knack for such things (and have intentionally honed it with both formal and informal study). Of course, one problem with being good at something like that is that it essentially cannot be…

What are the indicators you have identified that you think are responsible for giving you the ability to avoid trouble? In other words, what do you recognize as being the cause of your lack of trouble?

Awareness of how people operate and subtle indicators of what they are likely to do, combined with, in essence, an assumption of innocence in the way I respond. (Not that I think a single sentence can possibly really explain it.) That doesn't mean trouble never visits. That does mean that I have managed to get far better than average outcomes for some situations that promised to be very ugly if handled the way most people would have handled it. (See my remarks about my amicable divorce, above, as an example.)

If you are actually hoping to learn how to do some of the same, two good books are "Getting to Yes" and "The heart and mind of the negotiator" (or mind and heart -- I never can quite remember which). Both were required texts for a class I took on negotiation and conflict management.

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#194

Post by anthonyb »

TotlolRon wrote: post #173
anthonyb wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good answer. It's a sad story, and I feel for you, but it's a fairly predictable outcome, particularly given the way that you were trying to make money from YouTube. There's all sorts of copyrighted content from 3rd parties, eg. Disney and others, and they'd likely sue both you and YouTube if you were to put ads up. The only part I would've changed if I were them would be to let you know upfront that you were likely…

I don't have a choice. But they, still, do. (P.S - maybe I was wrong, maybe it is not a cultural bias. Maybe it is just the difference between -- cliché warning -- knowing the path and walking the path ).

You absolutely have a choice. And I've walked that path, so it's not just a meaningless platitude. There are assholes in the world (along with people who just don't care), they do fucked up things and they're not going to change. In the end, the best that you can do is distance yourself from them, both physically and mentally, and get on with your life.

ps. I doubt that YouTube have much of a choice either. It's either shut you down or get sued by the content owners. I suspect that after all the work you've put in, you've lost a bit of perspective on that.

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#195

Post by foompy_katt »

logicalmind wrote: post #171
gruseom wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a marvelous paragraph. It almost makes me want to give Taleb a second chance (Fooled by Randomness did nothing for me). This is a sharp observation: Glander is what children without soccer moms do when they are out of school. I'm reminded of someone (maybe John Taylor Gatto) who wrote about the education he got as a boy from long hours spent at a pond. Also interesting that while he addresses the lack of similar…

I'm reminded of someone (maybe John Taylor Gatto) who wrote about the education he got as a boy from long hours spent at a pond. If you discover what you were referring to, please post. I am curious to read about that. I did a bit of searching and as far as I can find, Gatto discussed ponds and education in relation to Thoreau's Walden Pond experience.

I believe the body of water was the Monongahela river, actually, but close enough :). Go to http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/toc3.htm and then click on Chapter 10.

That's from the online version of "The Underground History of American Education", which is worth reading in its entirety. The published version is even better and has been updated and corrected. Enjoy!

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#196

Post by gruseom »

foompy_katt wrote: post #195
logicalmind wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm reminded of someone (maybe John Taylor Gatto) who wrote about the education he got as a boy from long hours spent at a pond. If you discover what you were referring to, please post. I am curious to read about that. I did a bit of searching and as far as I can find, Gatto discussed ponds and education in relation to Thoreau's Walden Pond experience.

I believe the body of water was the Monongahela river, actually, but close enough :). Go to http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/toc3.htm and then click on Chapter 10. That's from the online version of "The Underground History of American Education", which is worth reading in its entirety. The published version is even better and has been updated and corrected. Enjoy!

You're right! The text I was thinking of was Chapter 3 of Dumbing Us Down, which is titled "The Green Monongahela".

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#197

Post by jnaut »

I haven't seen such subtle observations of mind laid out so cleanly and perfectly, ever before. I was going all thru such "unnecessary drifting" disputes/money, for quite some time in recent past, but realised it just now. Feels like enlightened!

I need to change the top idea in my mind for sure. But as pg rightly noted and I quote: """Money matters are particularly likely to become the top idea in your mind. The reason is that they have to be. It's hard to get money. It's not the sort of thing that happens by default. It's not going to happen unless you let it become the thing you think about in the shower. And then you'll make little progress on anything else you'd rather be working on. """ I will still need to do something about it, without letting it become the top idea in my mind.

Thanks!

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#198

Post by paulnelligan »

For me, there's a very important lesson here about stress management. If you can manage stress effectively, you're allowing those creative thoughts to bubble to the surface, eventhough you may be going through the fund-raising process. Of course, managing the stress is the challenge, talking about it is no problem.

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#199

Post by tome »

hugh3 wrote: post #71
redsymbol wrote: post #28

(I hear similar complaints from friends who are professors. Professors nowadays seem to have become professional fundraisers who do a little research on the side. It may be time to fix that.) Now there's a startup idea!

How exactly? In an ideal world, you could sell the service of helping professors to prepare their research proposals. You could also keep an eye out for grants which the professors might be interested in, and generally handle the money side of things for professors who would rather be worrying about something else. However, I don't think this would work, because the professors have no way to pay you. As far as I know…

Surely the universities that the professors work for could fund the grant preparation.

Re: The Top Idea in Your Mind

#200

Post by noahc »

philwelch wrote: post #152
portman wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"edit a file, and then restart" Our of curiosity, what operating system do you use? On Windows, hosts entries take effect immediately. No need to restart.

I wrote an ad-hoc adblocker out of /etc/hosts files and shell scripts for Mac OS X. (The shell scripts just block and unblock--unblocking is necessary sometimes for a chess site I use which detects adblockers.) Usually restarting is overkill for a new hosts file to take effect--on Mac OS X `dscacheutil -flushcache` will reinstate a hosts file. Ubuntu must have a similar command.

I use the self control app on Mac OSX.

http://visitsteve.com/work/selfcontrol/

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