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Crying

robinwe.is

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Re: Crying

#191

Post by jetcata »

aantix wrote: post #6

I'm really glad someone had the courage to share this data.. Growing up I was always under the impression that it was wrong to cry, and it probably exasperated some of my depressive episodes. Strangely, after becoming a father, I feel like I'm even more sensitive and can cry at the drop of a seemingly innocent comment. I bet I cry almost daily.. But after it occurs, it's refreshing. I feel stronger.

My family made me feel like crying was a bad thing, that it was weak to cry and that there is something wrong with you. Never feel this way, anyone who says or thinks this is really wrong, emotions are what make us human and we should be glad to feel things!

Re: Crying

#192

Post by jetcata »

Zelphyr wrote: post #121

So many people here admitting they cry with an undertone that they feel various levels of bad for doing it. @donatj even said his wife makes fun of him when he cries. We have got to make this a non-issue. Its so insane to me that in Western culture someone isn't allowed to express a perfectly normal aspect of their physiology. Its like shaming someone for puking. It may not be pleasant but not doing it is way worse.…

Can't agree more with you! I'm a woman and my family always shames me for crying - from when I was a teenager even until now in my middle age crying over the death of a family member. It's just absurd - they have called me things from weak to "sensitive" to "emotional" - but I know better now that crying is a totally normal and good emotion and ignore them. I wish these perceptions didn't exist though.

Re: Crying

#193

Post by bbarn »

swah wrote: post #59
lomnakkus wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Since we all seem to be in a sharing mood... Also a guy -- no beard -- but (and I'm not joking here)... I watched that exact trailer just now and teared up a little. As for movies, I have two examples: Up (pure emotion) and The Fountain -- the scene towards the end where he talks to the high priest and Clint Mansell's music takes over. For me, I think it's generally sort of really EPIC things that do it. Really huge…

I hardly cry (and make no attemps not to cry) but I have to concede that "Up" is very well written and its very hard to avoid getting emotional in certain parts. So, I guess the guy in this post has many triggers and I only have some, say - thinking of Up - old age and loneliness, lifelong fidelity...

Real life events don't make me cry. Seriously, I've had break ups, deaths.. you name it. But damn, the opening to that movie did.

Re: Crying

#194

Post by louprado »

During allergy season my eyes are always on the verge of tearing up. Then even mildly enthusiastic conversations will cause my eyes to fully tear and that makes me feel emotional. It is embarrassing and often leads me to abruptly end conversations.

There have been numerous studies where facial expressions can affect emotion. It is a positive feedback loop [1]. The situation I described above isn't a facial expression per se, but does anyone else feels like eye strain or irritants (soldering?), makes them more emotional.

[1] http://scienceblogs.com/neurophilosophy/2010/04/16/botox-may...

Re: Crying

#195

Post by transpy »

I dunno... I find the notion of crying as a reaction to fictional (or even non-fictional) media... foreign. I find this notion foreign. (Man, just a goatee, almost 33). I do consume fiction, but I just don't 'suspend disbelief', as it is called. Call me a fiction grinch, but it's just the way my brain works.

I recently changed jobs and moved to a new city. When, after a long hiring process I was given the job, I cried a little (like 10 seconds), out of joy. Then, once I arrived in the city, it was hard to find a new home but I faced it without victimism: I decided to move, so I had the obligation to face whatever hardships would emerge along the way. But the day I finally found a home and everything started to settle, when I finally had the keys, I sat down on one of the rooms and, beer in hand, cried, but out of relief and joy also.

When I was younger I used to cry easily, but as I'm getting older I just don't cry often anymore. Somewhat it has become a reaction reserved for existential highlights, so to speak.

Re: Crying

#196

Post by decisiveness »

transpy wrote: post #195

I dunno... I find the notion of crying as a reaction to fictional (or even non-fictional) media... foreign. I find this notion foreign. (Man, just a goatee, almost 33). I do consume fiction, but I just don't 'suspend disbelief', as it is called. Call me a fiction grinch, but it's just the way my brain works. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new city. When, after a long hiring process I was given the job, I crie…

This is fascinating to me. Do you consume fiction purely for analyses of the writing/acting? Of course, either of those things done poorly can quickly make one focus on the fabricated nature of it, but to not have any real capacity to entertain fantasy as reality when there are no obvious negatives or doubts to point out seems to be a rare thing.

If you're unable to "suspend disbelief", what is the actual gain from that experience if no engaged entertainment value is received? Does it only come from being a so-called "grinch"?

Re: Crying

#197

Post by djsumdog »

glibgil wrote: post #71
lukeschlather wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At risk of spoilers, I don't think that's a pun. It's just an abbreviation.

It's a pun played in meta-reverse and it sucked

No, there's no word play involved. There's no joke in their either. It's just a misheard word.

Re: Crying

#198

Post by mordrax »

verst wrote: post #124
lomnakkus wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, "Up" is really in a league of its own on the "tearjerker" scale -- not that it ever does it gratuitously, mind. It's just that it imitates life very well in that it can sometimes be very sad and also uplifting(!) at the same time.

"Up" definitely triggered the strongest emotions in me of any movie to date. Perhaps it reminded me of the loss of my grandma a few years earlier. The first ten minutes made me so upset that I spent the rest of the movie fighting my body so that I wouldn't start bawling. It would have been such an intense and loud cry that I absolutely would have had to run out of the movie theater. After the movie I drove my friend…

Let it out, don't hold it in. Close your eyes, focus on your intense emotions, breath in and let it out, gently and fully.

I try to do this with all intense emotions be it overwhelming sadness, fury, despair. Feels better than holding back or forcing it out.

Re: Crying

#199

Post by mordrax »

verst wrote: post #124
lomnakkus wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, "Up" is really in a league of its own on the "tearjerker" scale -- not that it ever does it gratuitously, mind. It's just that it imitates life very well in that it can sometimes be very sad and also uplifting(!) at the same time.

"Up" definitely triggered the strongest emotions in me of any movie to date. Perhaps it reminded me of the loss of my grandma a few years earlier. The first ten minutes made me so upset that I spent the rest of the movie fighting my body so that I wouldn't start bawling. It would have been such an intense and loud cry that I absolutely would have had to run out of the movie theater. After the movie I drove my friend…

Let it out, don't hold it in. Close your eyes, focus on your intense emotions, breath in and let it out, gently and fully.

I try to do this with all intense emotions be it overwhelming sadness, fury, despair. Feels better than holding back or forcing it out.

Re: Crying

#200

Post by djsumdog »

howlingfantods wrote: post #9

Fascinating dataset. I think ending a long term, long distance relationship (and then finding out he was married all along), probabaly skewed this dataset upwards. Last time I cried was watching the most recent episode of Game of Thrones. And then watching YouTube reaction videos of that episode, a little less crying with each video. Hodor...

If you think about when RR Martin first published Game of Thrones in 1996, you realize that was back story twist he planned two decades ago.
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