Online language exchanges can be a great way to meet people and work on a language you are not comfortable with. I use mylanguageexchange and I've met a number of Chinese grad students studying in the U.S. who are very shy because of their accent. But I work with them to improve their English accent and grammar and it also helps them build self confidence too! I think it's a really great answer to this kind of issue. But you're welcome to check it out for yourself!
How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
181–190 of 453 posts
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#182A small suggestion that worked really well for me: if you're interested in role playing games find some local groups (craigslist, your local comic book/game store, or there's other resources online) and join up. Pen and paper role playing can be a great way to make friends and develop better social skills. In my experience, these groups are almost always inclusive and friendly but it's the first step that's the most difficult.
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#183Hey, I feel you. I'm not Asian, but I'm introvert. I'm a tad younger, at 20 years old. I'm also unemployed (yay!). Anyway, I've never have tons of friends, but after finishing high school, I've cut almost every relations that I've had with others (on one side, I've never had a friendship outside school, on the other side, it's my fault since I'm not good at maintaining relations). So you could say that I'm currently…
Sorry if that's not the right place, but I have a similar problem. I am a 1st year CS student and I can't find a coding buddy. By that I mean someone to study new technologies with, to work on learning-focused projects together and exchange ideas. Most of my schoolmates are overwhelmed with classes and don't have time or desire for partnering up. So, HN, if you are up for some node.js/javascript or C++ learning, it w…
Apologies for offtopic.
purringmeow, sent you an email. I am as well looking for a node.js buddy.
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#184Hey, I feel you. I'm not Asian, but I'm introvert. I'm a tad younger, at 20 years old. I'm also unemployed (yay!). Anyway, I've never have tons of friends, but after finishing high school, I've cut almost every relations that I've had with others (on one side, I've never had a friendship outside school, on the other side, it's my fault since I'm not good at maintaining relations). So you could say that I'm currently…
Sorry if that's not the right place, but I have a similar problem. I am a 1st year CS student and I can't find a coding buddy. By that I mean someone to study new technologies with, to work on learning-focused projects together and exchange ideas. Most of my schoolmates are overwhelmed with classes and don't have time or desire for partnering up. So, HN, if you are up for some node.js/javascript or C++ learning, it w…
Wow, I got so many messages on reddit and email! Thanks a lot!
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#185Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Have you run into this? Yes. I have two examples. One glaring, and one subtle. First the glaring one: the word "cunt." In the US it's quite offensive to call someone a cunt, and even using the word in conversation is considered quite "low." Here it's also an offensive thing to call somebody, but it's not quite as ghastly as we'd make it out to be back home. You certainly wouldn't use the word in a professional sett…
something "average" being mediocre is also a British English thing. I refer you to the viral image that was going around on facebook etc entitled "what British people say, versus what they mean": http://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/what-british-people-say-ve...
In the immortal words of Sir Humphrey: "Unfortunately, among the many extraordinary qualities politicians undoubtedly possess, reasonableness isn’t necessarily the first that springs to mind. Not when one contemplates the average Minister; and our Minister is very average."
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#186re: car. Many people, especially ones that also don't have a car and see the value in not having a car (or at least not utilizing it heavily) in an urban area.
re: English. Just keep practicing. I know that it can be frustrating (on both sides), but you won't get better if you let that stop you from getting better. Do you read English well? That may be a first step in helping to remember words. Also, English is stupid: don't feel bad if it doesn't make sense to you; it doesn't really to us [native-speakers] either.
In general, things like MeetUp.com are helpful. Find activities that you're interested in, and go for them!
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#187Earlier quoted context omitted.
One last one-- Be a friend to yourself. Not in a sappy, metaphorical way, but in a game-theoretical way. One of the mistakes I made for the longest period of time was that I waited for other people to make the first move. If someone didn't regularly go out of their way to interact with me -- come over and talk to me, invite me to do things -- I assumed they didn't want to and didn't go over and talk to them or invite…
good advice!!! today I had a breakfast with myself and it was awesome.
Was it the awkward breakfast after sleeping with yourself?
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#188Earlier quoted context omitted.
something "average" being mediocre is also a British English thing. I refer you to the viral image that was going around on facebook etc entitled "what British people say, versus what they mean": http://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/what-british-people-say-ve...
In the immortal words of Sir Humphrey: "Unfortunately, among the many extraordinary qualities politicians undoubtedly possess, reasonableness isn’t necessarily the first that springs to mind. Not when one contemplates the average Minister; and our Minister is very average."
beams - There is even a humphreyism embedded in the viral picture actually; "That's very brave, minister..."
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#189Find a hobby. I play Magic the Gathering.
Re: How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?
#190Have you tried meetup.com? Maybe there's an event or group that catches your eye.
When I was actively seeking for an internship, I have attended a lot of meetups. I was not able to make friends, though.
OP: it seems like it's time to seek professional help. Your post implies worries about your mental health. Time spent regularly seeing a counselor is probably going to the be most effective thing for you.