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Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

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Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#181

Post by reg_dunlop »

sublinear wrote: post #38
reg_dunlop wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All things being equal, if a person works remotely, apparently they're more likely to trend reclusive. At the same time, a person working in an office has the illusion of social activity. Just because a person works in an office doesn't mean they're more well adjusted socially, or more active. Just because a person works remotely doesn't mean they're a recluse. Life requires effort and being engaged. Though as a remo…

> illusion of social activity This is so spot on. I would like to see stats for introverts who do not have mental health issues. Those living alone and working from home probably have the best outcomes across the board.

It would be interesting...

My intention for using that specific language was less with the implied language of introvert/extrovert, and was more intended to point out how simply going to an office is not enough to qualify as "socialization". Compulsory attendance in exchange for financial gain isn't a great example of voluntary socialization....

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#182

Post by nozzlegear »

tayo42 wrote: post #151
nozzlegear wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I worked in an office, there was no policing of communication or reading books on effective communication to influence people (??) – people were just normal ass people.

You never had a list of banned words at work? You missed the whole master/main thing? Words prefixed with black/white weren't given alternatives? I had a manager once go thorough one of my slack conversations and go line by line with how I could rephrase things with softer corporate jargon. There's books on leadership, books like crucial conversations, books on managing up. The industry is obsessed with staff enginee…

No, I never had any of that. I worked as the dev at a family-owned printing company, around 100 employees.

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#183

Post by realjohng »

I can say I agree with the thesis. I live alone and have been working remotely and have been struggling with this issue.

If I don’t plan something social end of day, it can feel like a lonely existence.

Occasionally I will go into office and sometimes it leads to good conversations with people outside of my team, which is nice. I do tend to skip it though since it requires effort and planning.

For those looking for ideas, do a sport in evening after work. Or small group fitness classes, maybe you will see a regular you connect with. Dance and art classes are same and mentally relaxing.

I will say the 1hr evening class doesn’t feel enough. I’ve thought about getting a dog many times.

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#184

Post by gmiller123456 »

My experience is the exact opposite. I worked remotely for a good 10 years, after a buyout we returned to the office for a couple years, and returned to remote during 2020.

When working from home, when 5pm hits, the first thing I want to do is get out of the house. I do lots of group activities, hiking, kayaking, cycling, pool, trivia, photography, etc.

When I have to go in to the office, when 5pm hits, all I want to do is go home. Once I'm home, I'm much less likely to leave.

I understand I'm a sample size of one. And even though several of my who work from home friends feel the same way, it's obvious I never meet the people who stay at home. But I'm curiious as to whether the people staying at home would go out if they worked in an office. Seems like that'd make most sense if you're hanging out with people you work with, which I don't do much. But I doubt there's a good sample size of people who've switched back and forth.

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#185

Post by em-bee »

xchip wrote: post #172
em-bee wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a feeling that people who feel isolated due to WFH would be same people who don’t interact with anyone in the offices as well i am experiencing this from a different angle. i am shy in certain situations so i don't easily socialize. what helps me is forced/formalized socialization, like pair programming. forced in the sense that i don't have to ask someone to make it happen. (although asking gets easier as i g…

Well if you are shy, you have two options. Support going back to the office so everybody commutes there and you can easily talk to people without putting much effort... Or take it as a growth opportunity for yourself, take advantage of the extra time that you have saved in that useless commuting, and try to talk to people outside work and make friends as everybody else does. Please believe in yourself!

you didn't understand or even read what i wrote. my point was that talking to people in settings where talking is required is easier. and that is NOT the office, unless we are actually working on something together, but then i can also work together remotely, which works just as well.

try to talk to people outside work

you mean like what i wrote?:

working from home doesn't make things much worse. but, it allows me to avoid social isolation through other means. the advantage of going out to seek friends is that you can choose where to go, and you can go to places that are more open to interaction than the people at work

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#187

Post by watwut »

good8675309 wrote: post #176
watwut wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Homeschooled people just assume others must be unhappy in those places where they dont go, but that is not the case and not shown in statistics. Also, those people asking the question you find weird were asking about the experiences and kind of socialization that they consider big deal and was not going on in that place.

There’s a lot of assumption in that statement. I was never homeschooled but I hated public school so much that I decided to homeschool all 4 of my kids. They love the freedom and they are honestly over socialized

What aasumption in which statement? What I see is homeschool crowd framing schools like a place everybody hates. Overall, that is definitely not the case. That is literally what I reacted to.

Also being "over socialized" is not a thing. You can be introvert tired of social interactions, but I dont think that is what you mean. If that is the case ease up on kids.

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#188

Post by watwut »

nozzlegear wrote: post #135
tayo42 wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Work is a fake environment where your communication is policed and you need to read books about how to effectively communicate to influence people do the things you want. Normals socialization isn't like that.

When I worked in an office, there was no policing of communication or reading books on effective communication to influence people (??) – people were just normal ass people.

The usual expectation is that you wont discuss politics or personal topics. You are expected to not ask about other peoples health either.

The other completely normal expectation is that you will limit general chit chat, unless you are at unusually slacky workplace.

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#189

Post by watwut »

bonoboTP wrote: post #115
poszlem wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Interestingly, when times were good, companies did everything in their power to pull employees' hobbies, interests, and social lives into the workplace. Hence the huge "campuses" and all the rest. Now, suddenly, everyone is surprised that people have no life outside of work. This may turn out to be a huge wake-up call, perhaps even for the best. People may start going back to a proper 9-to-5, closing their laptops at…

There will always be people who are willing to put in the time and grind a few years in their 20s to achieve a better life for themselves and their future family, even if you would prioritize other things. It's ge theory and you don't have power over them in such laptop jobs. Your best available tool is to shame them and make striving and overtime be shunned. Many cultures have this, it's like tall poppy syndrome, bu…

Someone playing ping pong, VR or going to gym in work is not "putting in the time and grind". They are engaging in hobbies. If they use that time to pretend they work a lot, they are just normally slacking.

About the most absurd thing is twisting the people who socialize in office building for fun into grinding hard workers.

Re: Home alone: Remote work, isolation, and mental health

#190

Post by bonoboTP »

watwut wrote: post #189
bonoboTP wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There will always be people who are willing to put in the time and grind a few years in their 20s to achieve a better life for themselves and their future family, even if you would prioritize other things. It's ge theory and you don't have power over them in such laptop jobs. Your best available tool is to shame them and make striving and overtime be shunned. Many cultures have this, it's like tall poppy syndrome, bu…

Someone playing ping pong, VR or going to gym in work is not "putting in the time and grind". They are engaging in hobbies. If they use that time to pretend they work a lot, they are just normally slacking. About the most absurd thing is twisting the people who socialize in office building for fun into grinding hard workers.

I didn't realize that was what you're thinking about. Well yeah, those guys invest in social connections at work, while you are not. Alliances, trust and human relationships will always matter, no matter how much people complain about this online. It will always be a benefit to be liked and known personally.
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