Earlier quoted context omitted.
Did you try Aider?
I did, although a long time ago, so maybe I need to try it again. But it still seems to be stuck in a chat-like interface instead of something tailored to software development. Think IDE but better.
The chat interface is optimal to me because you often are asking questions and seeking guidance or proposals as you are making actual code changes. On reason I do like it is that its default mode of operation is to make a commit for each change it makes. So it is extremely clear what the AI did vs what you did vs what is a hodge podge of both.
As others have mentioned, you can integrate with your IDE through the watch mode. It's somewhat crude but still useful way. But I find myself more often than not just running Aider in a terminal under the code editor window and chatting with it about what's in the window.