Earlier quoted context omitted.
What's your stack? After reading this, self hosting suddenly appeals to me.
forget about self hosting email... I tried it for years, and even if you get it working (needs months), it will eventually stop working again. The problem is that in order to get the big boys to accept you as an email provider, you have to jump through infinite hoops, and be treated like a criminal and/or scammer in the meantime (or at best a business that is trying to send newsletters). You will never get a human to…
I've been self-hosting for decades and have never, ever seen the sort of problems you suggest. Once its working, its working.
When people have a problem, its usually because they are trying to either:
(a) host off a home internet connection; or
(b) host off a less than reputable hosting provider.
Both of which should frankly come to no surprise to anyone with a modicum of technical know-how.Hosting off a home internet connection, assuming the ISP will even open the ports in the first place, has been something to avoid since, well, basically forever ... certainly anywhere after the late 90's.
Hosting off a less than reputable provider is the same. I'm not going to name names, but certain providers are well known for originating spam or not responding to abuse@ messages.