181–190 of 265 posts
"Users near you" functionality is sorely needed in online spaces, considering how much interaction has moved online. Reddit has worked around their lack of it to some degree with location-based subreddits like r/AtlFilmmakers. But subreddits are high maintenance, and they isolate content. Plus, the naming conventions aren't standard. Maybe there's r/AtlFilmmakers for filmmakers in Atlanta, but another subreddit for m…
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By giving people what they want. A lot of this emergent behavior falls out of doing good search science. By optimizing other metrics YouTube etc are giving people less of what they want and more of what YouTube wants. YouTube would be useless if I couldn’t ban so many channels from my recommended feeds. At the early stages of TikTok there was some controversy that diverse, disabled, marginalized etc people were being…
Yeah. It’s highly addictive. I have screentime for “fun apps” set to 30 mins now because it will suck you in for hours if you’re not careful.
Fuck that noise.
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Go into most gyms and it’s the opposite phenomenon. Men know that some types of physical activity (weight lifting) actually get them laid and others (I.e running) are the equivalent of what food does to get away from predators. The men who get good at that type of physical activity tend to be treated like the food is.
Guys is it gay to run
If your goal is to meet a human person, it is probably best to go to a social media site that is largely made of humans.
Reddit is perhaps the mother of all hobby social networks. You can not beat Reddit at least not yet or as long as majority of users are indeed humans.
Can't be overstated how good having a setting centered on some common activity with low stakes social interaction is for building relationships, romantic as well as platonic. Hookup culture just isn't for everyone, and the notion that it is has been the cause of a lot of grief and agony.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place
Most kids have a third place growing up, being an extension of school or another place like the skate park. If you leave school and don't find a new third place, finding new friendships becomes difficult.
Can't be overstated how good having a setting centered on some common activity with low stakes social interaction is for building relationships, romantic as well as platonic. Hookup culture just isn't for everyone, and the notion that it is has been the cause of a lot of grief and agony.
Umm.. yes it can. Common interests are WAAAY overrated. It's barely even a starting point... asymmetry is there it's at, why "partner" with yourself, when you can partner with your literal compliment, someone who has what you lack.... to make not just a bigger half, but an actual whole?!
A lot of interests need a common space.
Sharing a common interest is the best way to meet lots of new people. It creates low stakes interaction opportunities and removes the creep factor (if you are at a meetup for fans of model trains along with like a dozen other people, it’s not weird that you are talking to some of them). Better than any app, go get a hobby in person and get out there to meet people who are into it. Chances are you present yourself way…
This is the common advice, but it's also resulted in many of these hobby based events being overrun by people who are primarily there looking to find a date. It can be a weird dynamic. My suggestion is get a hobby that you explicitly are interested in, but don't go in with an expectation that you'll find someone, or make that your primary goal. > Chances are you present yourself way better in the real world vs online…
I am sure many people's brain are wired differently and things "just happen" for them but I need to be more explicit to make anything happen. It also feels boundary crossing, especially with activities where there is physical contact. And even if you take a rejection well, I imagine it doesn't feel great for the other side to get unwanted romantic attraction. It has so much potential to create unnecessary drama.
I wish there were places you could just got to find romantic partners. Not like speed dating but where you can casually hang out. Sure bars and clubs do work for a certain crowd but are not that great if you are not into the "party scene" and lots of people there don't really want to meet other people but just party with friends.
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Yes, I’ve always loved the camaraderie around climbing gyms and the community that develops naturally when you go to a gym consistently. Romantically it’s quite hard though, if a relationship is built around an activity, there are a number of challenges if someone’s interest shifts or a big skill mismatch etc.
Could that be a good filter-function? “How gracefully does this person handle our skill difference” seems like a nice thing to know about somebody.
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Women like men who look good. Men who lift weights usually look more attractive than someone who has a “runners” body. (Skinny and not muscular) Some runners will look jacked but that’s probably due to steroids and/or weightlifting. Running alone doesn’t give one bulging biceps or a large chest.
Men describing what they think women want physically usually reads like someone describing a Tom of Finland drawing. I agree that people generally prefer a physically fit partner.
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Actually many sport activities seem to be largely women based, which kinda says much about men not really caring about their health. :)
Go into most gyms and it’s the opposite phenomenon. Men know that some types of physical activity (weight lifting) actually get them laid and others (I.e running) are the equivalent of what food does to get away from predators. The men who get good at that type of physical activity tend to be treated like the food is.
There was a dating website now-owned by Match Group that did a study years ago (pre-acquisition) that showed that college-educated women preferred guys with runners' physiques by a lot over guys with weight-lifters' physiques, and women without college degrees preferred muscular men by a lot over skinnier guys. In both cases, it wasn't even close. Unfortunately this study was taken down after they got acquired or I would link to it.
others (I.e running) are the equivalent of what food does to get away from predators
Running is how predators in nature catch most of their prey. Strength is not relevant until after they've caught their prey.