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Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

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Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#181

Post by frereubu »

suranyami wrote: post #100
INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…

I agree that kids absolutely do not help with existential angst, and in some ways make it worse. But, and this is a nuanced point that I hope comes across as something to ponder rather than advice, I've found having kids and therapy at the same time has really has helped me in a way that I'm pretty sure therapy alone wouldn't have done. There's something about learning how to be loving with your kids (which I didn't have much of growing up, so had nobody to model that behaviour from) that has fixed quite a bit of my own self-loathing. As I've learned how to be a good dad (and to be clear, I wasn't actively cruel or abusive beforehand, just confused) I've learned how to be kind to myself. That has gone a long way for me in many areas of life, including work.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#183

Post by peepee1982 »

suranyami wrote: post #100
INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…

It does sound like PTSD or CPTSD. You can treat this yourself with the right resources.

For starters, there are journaling practices for processing emotions. And then there are various kinds of meditations.

Then there is psychoeducation, which will - over time - help dealing with difficult emotions.

Notable authors and researchers in this field: Pete Walker, Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Arielle Schwartz.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#184

Post by theGnuMe »

raffraffraff wrote: post #54
tetsuhamu wrote: post #46

Yes, I have. No, it's not normal. Yes, it "just happens" to some people, where "some people" are the set of people with pre-existing undiagnosed problems. I got treatment for it. It means you've had an underlying issue. It probably wasn't entirely caused by the work-related stress. After it happens, you know somethin's up, or could be up at any unpredictable time. My goal in therapy and with medication is to manage t…

While what you are saying may be 100% true, I think that basically everybody is capable of being driven over the edge by chronic stress. Everybody has a tipping point. That's normal. Perhaps the difference is what occurs after that point.

Stress is an emotional reaction.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#185

Post by blackflame7000 »

John23832 wrote: post #79
INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

You're burnt out. We've all been there. Focus on yourself to get better. As far as work, break tasks down AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. Do a portion and pat yourself on the back. You'll be able to build up from there. Part of burnout is seeing a wall of work and your body/mind having an adverse reaction to it. You need smaller portions to get back on the horse.

[dead]

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#187

Post by vlachen »

heleninboodler wrote: post #109
suranyami wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…

If INTPenis hears anything I hope it's that not having kids isn't the root of this problem. I have kids and it's wonderful, but I too feel all the same lethargy and lack of purpose interspersed with bouts of helping kids with their homework and relentlessly getting their grumpy asses to school at ungodly hours every day and generally trying hard not to fuck them up. If you're already in a shitty situation, having kid…

This is the truth. The advice I give to expectant friends is this: get your shit together, mental health wise, before that tiny human shows up in your life. My partner and I found that the stress of having a child brings all that shit up.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#188

Post by hobo_mark »

suranyami wrote: post #100
INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…

> For instance, one CEO would periodically grab me, walk me a few blocks away from the office and proceed to scream in my face for 20 minutes on the sidewalk. There are many, many other examples, but honestly, it's all too familiar and boring to recount.

Wh..why did you even stay long enough for this to have happened more than once?

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#189

Post by lezojeda »

suranyami wrote: post #100
INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…

[dead]

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#190

Post by luxuryballs »

jurassic wrote: post #43

I think it is worth probably talking with a mental health professional about your experience. Even if you feel normal, you may not be the best person to judge whether you are actually behaving normally now or not. It is good to arm yourself with facts and opinions from experts, even if you choose not to act on the information now. And it can be useful to share the professional diagnosis with trusted friends or family…

I’ve always wondered how suicide becomes a viable option in the human mind, like at some point in life did we learn about it or is it a more natural mental progression?

Like I wonder if someone raised in isolation would ever come up with the idea of killing yourself on their own or if it has to come from some outside influence.

To be clear I’ve had thoughts like that too but I just can’t recall if I came up with it on my own or if it was a concept I learned elsewhere and then sort of leaned into in the darkest moments. I just can’t imagine my innate “child self” ever going there.

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