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Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

cdoyle.me

181–190 of 235 posts

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Power is corrupting, and police have a de facto shit-ton of real, immediate power over everyone in their vicinity. They have a "martial law bubble" around them that allows them to physically assault you, put you in jail, and upend your whole life with very little effort. You will have no recourse, and they will suffer no consequences. You may file a complaint with the department, and it will be followed up on, poorly…

In my life experience an unsavory character turned law abiding citizen I found that I used to think ill of cops but after I changed, miraculously cops seemed to turn into amazing fantastic people. So I take all of these "cops are evil" claims with a grain of salt and seek out more context clues to what would initiate an interaction with LEO in the first place.

I have never had a bad encounter with a cop. Yet I still see countless examples of abuse and criminal behavior from police and the lengths that the police forces will go to shield their own.

> So I take all of these "cops are evil" claims with a grain of salt

No need to take any "claim" as fact when there is tons of actual evidence in the form of recordings, law suits and more. I simply do not understand how someone is able to have a positive view of police with the access we have to information. Police are not your friend, they do not serve you and they should not be trusted.

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#182
post #21

HR represents the company. Where your goals and the company's aligns, they can be helpful. Where they diverge, perhaps less so. I think a lot of these sorts of articles discount the idea that your goals and the company's will frequently align. For example, if you're being harassed, it's very often in the company's interest to stop that happening. It will cause you and perhaps more people to quit if they don't, and th…

As someone working in HR for the last few years, this is the most correct take. I would add that people working in HR - like any other area - have their own goals, and you should also take that in consideration. Sometimes they don't align at all with the organization. BTW, it's really funny reading all these takes thinking HR people are evil. Almost as funny as talking to HR that are completely oblivious to the idea…

> HR that are completely oblivious to the idea that people have about them.

I can't imagine that's the typical HR pattern. That's certainly not better but I tend to think that they appear oblivious by design, or rather, by education.

Since HR must keep their smiling poker face and their never-promising aleays-optimistic discourse no matter what, they fake this seemingly oblivious character. I guess.

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I should mention I am referring specifically to police in the United States. The short answer is because cops defend cops, including bad cops. People like to say it's just a few bad apples, but it's far more prevalent than that. And even if it were just 1 in 100, the fact that the cops band together to protect a rapist/murderer/whatever shows that they care more about unity than morals. I realize this answer is lacki…

I tend to think there is a huge selection bias problem. The people that I knew in HS who wanted to be cops (and two did), were exactly the people you did NOT want to meet in a dark alleyway. They abused the power their physical strength gave them in HS... what makes you think they'd act differently with legal strength? And the people that I think are those who most want to help those in need and are compassionate, ca…

[deleted]

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Power is corrupting, and police have a de facto shit-ton of real, immediate power over everyone in their vicinity. They have a "martial law bubble" around them that allows them to physically assault you, put you in jail, and upend your whole life with very little effort. You will have no recourse, and they will suffer no consequences. You may file a complaint with the department, and it will be followed up on, poorly…

In my life experience an unsavory character turned law abiding citizen I found that I used to think ill of cops but after I changed, miraculously cops seemed to turn into amazing fantastic people. So I take all of these "cops are evil" claims with a grain of salt and seek out more context clues to what would initiate an interaction with LEO in the first place.

Oh, I don't blame you. If I thought well of cops I'd feel the same way. That positive feeling is to be cherished and protected, because one day it may protect you. Or, you know, you might get unlucky and get swatted by accident, or an ex-wife claims you hit her, or you meet a cop just having a bad day, and you'll have a different experience. That you haven't won the shit lottery doesn't mean it doesn't exist, it just means you're lucky.

And also, consider the impact of being wrong here. Like, if your opinion is taken seriously, then there's nothing wrong, then why? Is it that my basic assumption that power corrupts is wrong? Or do you disagree with the premise that cops aren't held accountable when they abuse their power? In either case, surely you see enough evidence that police, both here and abroad, are constantly struggling with issues of corruption and abuse, sometimes directed at one ethnicity, but always at non-officers.

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#186
post #78
post #10

I get the whole "HR can be evil" point, but this article could have also been, "Having friends in management is fine, but management is not your friend". Personally, I'm so sick of the cynicism in general. Can we make points and articles about protecting yourself, as an employee, without resorting to such things? As a manager in a company, I've both had friends in HR and also had HR been my friend. Need to fire that…

The cynicism does seem like a race to the bottom. It’s to the point that discussions are derailed by it with folks who feign knowledge about a topic just offer cynicism. Anything that’s doesn’t work right the empty response is a conspiracy of “oh that’s by design” as if people would otherwise always have things working… It’s endless online.

>It’s to the point that discussions are derailed by it with folks who feign knowledge about a topic just offer cynicism. Anything that’s doesn’t work right the empty response is a conspiracy of “oh that’s by design” as if people would otherwise always have things working…

It's a safeguard against trying to fight against things that "shouldn't be like this" and burning yourself out. It's endless in the real world too. The reason cynicism runs so deep is that it's warranted. After a period of time you turn around and ask yourself "if everywhere I go and everything I take a close enough look at makes me think 'this shouldn't be like this!' then what is it that I'm missing???". Eventually when the human operating system that underpins it all comes into view, the cynicism sets in. Sure, it's a lazy-ish answer, but in my experience it's a pretty darn good heuristic as far as heuristics go.

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#187

It's utterly bizarre how people keep scape goating HR. It's the typical situation that whenever HR goes out of their way to make "everyone" happy, no one says acknowledges it. But Management can hide behind "HR" and employees love blaming HR, because that is the person they interact with the most.

If HR is the person you are interacting with the most, something is deeply fucked.

I interact with HR only during the reviews, and periodically to ask for clarification about a benefit or to update my address or something.

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#188

In essence, HR is the buffer between humans and systems. They create the systems that allow humans to do things like work and be compensated for their work, or to work in an environment where they can expect not to be harassed—at baseline. They clean up everyone's mess when the interface between human and system is compromised. If a system breaks down, it's HR's job to figure out how to handle the errors. Every compa…

>In essence, HR is the buffer between humans and systems

Hmm I very much see the people (including HR) and all the dynamics they entail as part of the overall system.

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#189
post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Small town, private practice (not a big law firm)

I dont know anything about lawyers. Are there cheap city lawyers? Are there expensive small town private practice lawyers? What makes a lawyer's value go up? I'm asking a non rhetorical question, I really dont know

Yes to both.

Funnily enough, lawyers can be cheaper in large cities where there's more of em.

If you run into bother in some one lawyer town, they sometimes might think of taking the proverbial piss.

Re: Having friends in HR is fine, but HR is not your friend

#190
post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For example, if you're being harassed, it's very often in the company's interest to stop that happening. Unless of course, the harraser is a top performer, or VIP in their market. Remeber all that fun with Susan Fowler, an engineer at Uber that went public with her harrasment? Or the ever infamous https://archive.ph/dUJNs In those cases, like you said, HR protected the interests of the Company, which was in preserv…

> Susan Fowler, an engineer at Uber I always had a problem with that case: so you start to work for one of the most unethical companies out there, a company whose business model is to circumvent regulations, a company that built software whose sole purpose was to deceive auditors. And then you are shocked , shocked , that there is gambling^W unethical behavior going on?

Circumventing corrupt and anti-competitive regulations is not in any way morally equivalent to sexual harassment.
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