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Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

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Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#181

Post by mooreds »

perfectjob wrote: post #124
mooreds wrote: post #2

Some advice from someone a bit further down the career path: * If you want to try something, try it! Save up some runway, do your own thing. Try some other projects right now, don't wait. (You won't be able to devote full time effort to them, but can still make progress.) You may find that what you dream about isn't all that, or maybe it is. Either way you can take steps forward. * I learned to be happy with my life…

I pretty much optimized my life around my young kids. That's why I got a remote job (before covid) and only work four days. I genuinely believe it will be the best investment in my lifetime, and I will look back and be proud I made that decision. > I learned that I needed to create happiness where I was, not try to find it elsewhere I fully agree, but it's really hard to do so even if you know that's the right way.

> I fully agree, but it's really hard to do so even if you know that's the right way.

Yes! I agree it isn't easy to do this and I struggle daily, but haven't found a better path.

Certainly alcohol, partying, entrepreneurship, clubs, sports, travel, and adventure (the main paths I've tried) haven't succeeded in providing immediate happiness without effort on my part. (They all had their good aspects, don't get me wrong, but nothing intrinsically made me happy all the time and I was always left wondering "what's over there".)

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#183

Post by bladegash »

2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote: post #98
willhslade wrote: post #28

You are describing the hedonic treadmill. Essentially, you become used to your surroundings, and while they are objectively great, from the perspective of inside your own head, this is now normal and you / your monkey mind wants more. There have been a lot of post floating around the internet with various solutions, the most popular being Stoicism > Positive Psychology / Happiness research > Buddhism / Meditation. I'…

Correct. It works in reverse too. Anecdote: As I deployed to Afghanistan from my duty station on Okinawa things got progressively shitty. Okinawa -> Manas: Living conditions suck but they have a decent chow hall. Manas -> Camp Leatherneck: Crappy living, crappy chow. Camp Leatherneck -> FOB: wow this sucks. FOB -> combat outpost: holy shit this sucks! How am I gonna do 7 months of this?! I did. Got used to it. Was ac…

Hah, slightly off topic, but I was there from 09-10 and remember that same journey from MCBH -> Manas -> Leatherneck -> COP -> Patrol Base.

I honestly think Leatherneck may have been the worst out of that experience. Some of the best times were having nothing on a PB for 10+ months (we were there for an extended period).

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#184

Post by kens »

khazhoux wrote: post #89

> But somehow, it isn't. It's never enough. It is probably human to always want more. The passionate college runner dreams of making the Olympic team -- just to be on the team would be enough. The first-time Olympian dreams of standing on the podium -- bronze would be enough. The bronze medalist is upset he lost to silver by .1 sec. The silver medalist rages that he came so close -- so close! to having it all. The go…

Interestingly, bronze medalists are measurably happier than silver medalists. The theory is that the silver medalist is disappointed at not winning gold (as you say), but the bronze medalist is happy to have obtained any medal.

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/thoughtful-animal/why-b...

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#185

Post by willhslade »

endymi0n wrote: post #153
asciimike wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> As someone only a little older than yourself, I would say this: your job will never love you back, and especially in the software realm, it may not be as fulfilling as something like woodworking or therapy. It does pay the bills, though. Reminded me of https://github.com/docker/cli/issues/267#issuecomment-695149... > I no longer build software; I now make furniture out of wood. The hours are long, the pay sucks, an…

I have observed over the years a tendency of people leaving software for something completely different (often something much more tangible). Maybe that’s your beef, maybe not. My take on it is slightly different: It could very well be that instead of burnout, you are just missing purpose and meaning in your life. What is the legacy that you want to build for your kids? Don’t despair. It’s all good. Give yourself pro…

I didn't want to edit my original post, but this is also relevant to this discussion and came up recently. It echoes your observations. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31724942 https://whoisnnamdi.com/never-enough-developers/

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#186

Post by 50 »

Reminds me of postmodernism, e.g., "You feel sorry for yourself. You think you’re missing something and you don’t know what it is. You’re lonely inside your life. You have a job and a family and a fully executed will, already, at your age, because the whole point is to die prepared, die legal, with all the papers signed. Die liquid, so they can convert to cash." (DeLillo, Underworld)

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#188

Post by MentallyRetired »

ironlake wrote: post #65

There's a scene near the end of Chariots of Fire where Harold Abrahams confesses to an old friend that he's more afraid of winning the race than losing it. Winning the race means losing his purpose. Contrast with the other racer in the story, Liddell, a devout Christian who races for God's glory. His purpose transcends any wins or losses on earth. It's an ancient problem. (I'm not suggesting that you embrace religion…

I think the average in my 24 year career in software is about 2 years, maybe 2.5 tops.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#189

Post by elwell »

perfectjob wrote: post #130
khazhoux wrote: post #89

> But somehow, it isn't. It's never enough. It is probably human to always want more. The passionate college runner dreams of making the Olympic team -- just to be on the team would be enough. The first-time Olympian dreams of standing on the podium -- bronze would be enough. The bronze medalist is upset he lost to silver by .1 sec. The silver medalist rages that he came so close -- so close! to having it all. The go…

> This is what winning at life feels like. It doesn't feel like winning. That's a good one, and I might steal it one day :) And you are right. I should start working on my gratitude because I genuinely have everything you could ever wish for.

Paul's 2 cents:

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

1 Timothy 1:6-8

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