181–190 of 226 posts
Seek counseling. You're making life decisions based on web boards. Somehow programming and your relationship with your spouse are tied up together. You're riding really high now. You were really low before. Emotional roller coasters mean you should talk with someone, regardless of how you're feeling right now.
Please stop psychologically evaluating someone over an Internet comment.
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Because I’ve seen “I wish I had worked less.” on a gravestone?
Yeah, there's typically little or nothing. No meaningful sentiments from the deceased. That's part of what the popular funeral poem "The Dash" plays on—everything that mattered in a life, by the time it's nothing but marks on a stone, is expressed in the distinctly inexpressive dash between the birth and death dates. It's rare to actually put anything about the life on there. "Loving father" or something is usually t…
"Here below are the ashes of a man who had the habit of putting everything off until tomorrow. But in his last days he improved, and did actually die on January 31, 1972."
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Lines you won't see on a gravestone: "I wish I had worked more." "I wish I had a less meaningful relationship with my wife."
… I wish I was little bit taller I wish I was a baller I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat, And a six four Impala
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Am I the only one that thinks it's rude to give unsolicited marital advice based on absolutely no facts
Considering how grateful OP is for the advice shared by the community here previously, my impression is they're open to the continued advice. It's hardly unsolicited. I don't consider it rude when people are trying to be genuinely helpful. If you consider that rude you might be overly sensitive yourself and missing the bigger context. It's not happening here, but: I really really don't understand people who get offen…
Similarly if you’re finding yourself prefacing comments with “No offense, but…” just don’t say them. Offense avoided.
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All the more reason to listen to GP. Your partner should be someone to lean on, not blame. They likely don’t see them in the right light.
I'm not sure what this really means in practice, though. Going to them for support is an entirely different thing than feeling distressed that they are insisting on a major life change you disagree with. I don't think it'd be healthier to always agree with them. They're an independent mind, it's inevitable you will butt heads every once in a while
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Lines you won't see on a gravestone: "I wish I had worked more." "I wish I had a less meaningful relationship with my wife."
Because I’ve seen “I wish I had worked less.” on a gravestone?
Work is work, the stress will happen when things are not perfect. You need to figure out a way to deal with.
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Eh, a lot of the work at a FAANG, or a GAMMA, or whatever acronym you want to use for "big stable tech companies", is on products that people use and like and the changes you make matter to people. You may be a cog in a machine, but it's an important machine.
I'm actively resisting any future incorporation of Google related anything into my life. Doubly so for Facebook and it's evil tendrils. Twitter/LinkedIn and all that other junk don't even deserve consideration. Are you so sure that work is really important? Most of that big tech stuff is some variation of a low quality attention sink, or similarly some kind of ad-tech that mines the personal information that gets use…
Like, I understand your position, but the way everyone goes about "de-Googling" or avoiding other big tech products makes it very clear it is useful and important.
Everyone always writes their blog posts about how to switch to alternate services for everything company X does, instead of writing letters to the editor about how notebooks and typewriters, paper letters and day planners, physical photos and public radio, printed maps and encyclopedias are all you need.
Online maps, internet search, email, word processing, spreadsheets, mobile and desktop operating systems, compilers and IDEs, music and video streaming, cloud file and photo storage... people use them. You can have your problems with the way the business is run and the fraction of the internet that is ad supported, but it doesn't change that it feels good to work on a thing that millions of people will use and get value out of and maybe even like.
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Sort of, yes. We have signed the contract and should be closing in the fall :) The house is a bit more expensive than I would like but we can afford it. And we could have afford it before too, but I probably subconsciously thought that I don't deserve it.
People who believe they need big houses baffle me. It isn't priced right, and you can improve to flip or live and decide later. But why on earth would someone need a giant fucking house to be "happy".
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Sort of, yes. We have signed the contract and should be closing in the fall :) The house is a bit more expensive than I would like but we can afford it. And we could have afford it before too, but I probably subconsciously thought that I don't deserve it.
People who believe they need big houses baffle me. It isn't priced right, and you can improve to flip or live and decide later. But why on earth would someone need a giant fucking house to be "happy".
Unfortunately, if you are not building your own house (or having it built, ofc), you can only get a house the size that's almost always bigger than what you'd like initially. Or has fewer rooms than you'd like. You simply don't get to specify the room sizes or such, and for unbeknownst-to-me reasons, people simply build huge houses with huge rooms instead of smaller houses with more smaller rooms.