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Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

edition.cnn.com

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Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#181

Post by kzrdude »

ProjectArcturis wrote: post #180
ceilingcorner wrote: post #91

This used to be the case for most communities in America, before we decided that externalizing and professionalizing everything was the "economically efficient" solution. If you had a problem, you'd talk to the elder folks in your community and see what they thought about it. Now we barely know our neighbors and our community elders are shipped off to special-purpose holding facilities.

I don't know, the confidentiality of a professional therapist is huge. Plus a lot of the elders I know would advise you to deal with depression by sucking it up. Or try to pray the gay away.

Now a professional therapist might not want to tell you to do anything at all. The ones I've met have been very passive. They listen, it's great, but they don't point in any direction.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#182

Post by imbnwa »

gizmo686 wrote: post #138
jacobrobbins wrote: post #30

This is really interesting and seems like a great example of how small businesses are better for their community than chains. When I lived in Fort Greene brooklyn I was surprised by how many barbershops and hair salons there were, like 5 or more on the single little triangular block at fulton and greene. It seemed clear they were providing more of a community function than just the utility of getting a haircut that i…

Isn't McDonalds also well known to be a community center?

For elderly folk, sure

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#183

Post by Spivak »

dang wrote: post #172
x86_64Ubuntu wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Such a comment like the one you are responding to comes around like clockwork on HN whenever "black" is mentioned.

That's to be expected from any large, open, anonymous internet forum and is why the site guidelines say this: " Don't feed egregious comments by replying; flag them instead. " a.k.a. please don't feed the trolls. If people didn't feed it, it wouldn't grow. Therefore the problem is entirely a co-creation. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

I always feel weird about flagging comments.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#184

Post by motohagiography »

whymauri wrote: post #107
motohagiography wrote: post #105

Viewing masculine gatherings and mentoring relationships through the lens of "therapy," is patronizing and another example of filtering culture through the narrative of powerlessness. Here's another take. Most people who say they want you to talk about your feelings are predators looking for angry and vulnerable young people who they can manipulate with sympathy and groom for other pipelines and agendas. The barber s…

>Most people who say they want you to talk about your feelings are predators looking for angry and vulnerable young people who they can manipulate with sympathy and groom for other pipelines and agendas. I'm not really sure what this means... are you lumping in licensed therapists and social workers in here? Seems unfair to me, IMO. I guess just a little clarification would be useful, not trying to tear down your vie…

The examples I was thinking of came from growing up in a city where there is a layer of social workers, teachers, "educators," and even therapists who encourage young men to blame their problems on society and an oppression narrative instead of equipping them with the tools to develop constructive masculine friendships with boundaries. There are real systemic social issues that men who are american and black must face, but the article reframing normal relationships as therapy is precisely the kind of framing that harms male friendships.

Maybe this coalition is doing good work, but anyone who leads with problematizing men talking about their feelings earns very reasonable suspicion, imo. The main reason I see men having trouble connecting is because they haven't spent enough time around another men to learn the normal cues and boundaries. Setting up their friendships in yet another relationship that treats them like problem children isn't going to help them.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#185

Post by whatshisface »

sandworm101 wrote: post #147
ceilingcorner wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It goes against pretty much everything in the zeitgeist, but yeah, men and boys are really hurting from this lack of all-male spaces. I hope culture boomerangs around enough to permit them sometime soon.

Shooting clubs. The really aggressive ones that meet in the woods to "train". Still predominantly all-male.

Yeah, that and an enormous number of other nearly all-male hobbies. Unfortunately this leaves men who aren't in to trains, electronics, shooting, cars, or other stuff with few options.

Obvious disclaimer: there are plenty of women who like trains, electronics, shooting, cars and other stuff, but that doesn't change the very high chance of finding the romanticized "all-male-space" if you show to a rail fan meetup.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#186

Post by dang »

Spivak wrote: post #183
dang wrote: post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's to be expected from any large, open, anonymous internet forum and is why the site guidelines say this: " Don't feed egregious comments by replying; flag them instead. " a.k.a. please don't feed the trolls. If people didn't feed it, it wouldn't grow. Therefore the problem is entirely a co-creation. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

I always feel weird about flagging comments.

Ok, but please don't fuel flamewars as an alternative.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#187

Post by asdff »

honkdaddy wrote: post #164
hhs wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Lewis is trying to solve a problem a lot of other people are trying to solve: how can you have a normal community in US culture? Indeed, in sociology this building of community is typically called the 'third place' [0]. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place

Do HN folks have a "third place" they go to?

The comment section

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#188

Post by tejtm »

ceilingcorner wrote: post #97
sandworm101 wrote: post #33

It isn't because they are barbers. That is secondary. These are men's groups. This is men helping other men. Thanks to continued differences re hairstyles barber shops are one of the very few all-male places left in modern society (other than locker rooms which have a distinct competitive air). So it is no surprise that many urban men feel at home and are more willing to talk at the barber than anywhere else.

It goes against pretty much everything in the zeitgeist, but yeah, men and boys are really hurting from this lack of all-male spaces. I hope culture boomerangs around enough to permit them sometime soon.

and on the other hand I see clubs such as Machining, Astronomy (and to a lesser degree HAM ?) struggling not to just be a dwindling old guy club.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#189

Post by asdff »

jedimastert wrote: post #79
rory wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There have to be more options than that. A country club? A service org like Rotary / Lion's Club? I'm not sure what's out there, but there must options other than Jihad, Kristallnacht, or barber shop.

Country clubs are specifically made as exclusionary spaces for wealthy, almost always white, people.

There are also public golf clubs too. The local municipal one by me is $125 a year and there are tournaments twice a month I believe

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#190

Post by rendall »

SilasX wrote: post #165
rendall wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Has nobody seen Luke Cage? The entire plot revolves around a Harlem barbershop.

No need to criticize people for not having seen it, but yes, good example. Also features into Coming to America and its sequel.

I wasn't criticizing. Just letting people who have not know they're missing out!
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