181–190 of 817 posts
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But... they’re literally there to teach you stuff. And they like you better if you show interest. Why would you not ask the teacher stuff.
Because no-one in life has ever given you _actual_ assistance.
This one made me wonder: > I knew I was the only poor person at my tech startup because I had gotten married younger than any of my coworkers. Do I understand correctly it means they got married in order to lower the cost of life rather than wait for the person they would truly love?
Many of the comments on this article are so cold. I can’t believe it. When I read the original article I was imagining all the constructive ways HN readers would interpret it and hold a mirror up to their own behaviour. Some commenters are doing this. But it surprises and depresses me how many people are commenting saying “no, this list isn’t what it says it is, it’s a list showing the author has a negative mindset /…
Even without the race element - there’s definitely a class thing. I noticed it when I moved to the Bay Area after growing up in western New York. The types of foods people ate or didn’t eat, the restaurants people would or would not go to. The shows people would or would not watch, even the way people talked. I think I hadn’t really seen the difference in class behavior before in America. Now it’s easy to see it. A l…
You are stunningly naive if you think that a poor person acting more "upper class" isn't reminded that they're "out of their lane" more than someone rich acting "working class".
Are you saying poor people are always dishonest so by trusting you they treated you like a rich person, which is bad because ?? . Honestly I'm just confused.
To me, this reads more as a list of "from outside the valley bubble" signifiers than it does as a list of things that people who've grown up in poverty might do, even if the former was a result of the latter. There are some exceptions - not noticing missed paychecks is the biggest - but most of it is just stuff that happens every day in other offices. Making your lunch at the office and not bringing Advil from home?…
Yea I mostly agree. For example not greeting cleaning lady has nothing to do with being rich or poor. It is just manners and some of us do it and some don't.
Today the cleaning person works for an agency, is a different person every night and has 4 hours to do 8 hours worth of work.
Assuming the trip to Greece was a joke was pretty good, as was the comment about hearing other people’s hobbies and just thinking about the expense. There are definitely cultural signifiers from wealth. Discussing housing endlessly is the biggest one.
Are indoor rock climbing and adult soccer known to be especially expensive activities? I haven't done much indoor rock climbing, but I've done a lot of adult soccer, mostly for free.
I read the whole thing trying to find something I could relate to, as I grew up in a place that was a proper third world country as recently as in the 90s. This appears to be American poor - which I think is in its own category, because comparing to American rich it's just so much worse off. It's not that she's necessarily materially poor. It's just that there's no one around who can even begin to understand her pred…
Reminds me of John Scalzi's masterful Being Poor (written as a rejoinder to those who were asking why the poor in New Orleans didn't just up and leave when Hurricane Katrina arrived): https://whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/being-poor/
Many of the comments on this article are so cold. I can’t believe it. When I read the original article I was imagining all the constructive ways HN readers would interpret it and hold a mirror up to their own behaviour. Some commenters are doing this. But it surprises and depresses me how many people are commenting saying “no, this list isn’t what it says it is, it’s a list showing the author has a negative mindset /…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're absolutely right. People are not reacting the way you had hoped. They are reacting by questioning the assertions in the article in ways that don't engage with the author's fundamental humanity . They are treating it like an alien artifact reflecting on a far-off culture. What if readers came in, reacted with warmth and kindness and empathy and compassion, and engaged with the article in a way that validated th…
Thanks for the considered reply. I don’t think it would be cold and I don’t think I would have such a visceral reaction. I think the offhand tone implies a kind of misplaced confidence and shutting down of conversation - almost contempt - which is not a good way to start a conversation.
For my own part, when I find myself reacting to someone's tone I sometimes find it valuable to pause and consider why they would adopt it. It can help me separate the other person's tone from the real, valid, lived experience that is my internal emotional reaction.
Empathy cannot just be a thing I demand of others.