Just wanted to say, best of luck in your studies and search for better work.
I was in a similar situation about ten years ago, hitting bottom and roughing it. Being a stubborn mule of sorts, I kept trying, learning, went through countless jobs in different fields; all the while, I pursued the joy of programming. Eventually, a side project I was doing for fun (and as a learning experience) became the foot in the door, as proof of my abilities.
In my case, much of it was luck - but as they say, you make your own luck too. And the rest was mostly just "showing up" and "being there".
> i've been playing with tech since i was a kid
I believe this is the essence and heart of becoming a software developer, and you got it!