How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart

I live in SF and it has plenty to do. But last night despite aching to get out of the house I couldn’t.

I don’t have a ton of friends out here and the ones I have are frequently busy with their own projects/life

The typical offered advice is join meetups to meet new people, but a search of meetups going on last night were only for events where you drink heavily (a weekly beer pong tournament for backpackers, that I’ve been to twice only to find it’s a huge rip off and nobody shows up) or for niche groups I don’t fall into (LGBTQA+, Elderly, meetups for specific racial groups)

Every now and then I’ll go out anyway, just go to a bar and see what happens, and maybe 30% of the time I’ll meet cool people, but those relationships never blossom. I’ll text them after and then later in the week to hang that next weekend, and lo and behold they’re busy

I do clubs/exercise classes during the week, but so far, those haven’t blossomed into outside of club/class relationships. Every now and then I’ll ask if it feels right.

My roommates are cool and my age, but much more of the “finance bro” type. I don’t mind that so every now and then I’ll suggest we grab a beer or watch basketball (they’re really into the Warriors) but they usually pass. I think they can tell I’m not quite like them.

In terms of dating, dating in SF is kind of a crap shoot, What with there being something like 2 guys for every girl out here (thank you tech), but when I do get a match on tinder and go on a date it usually goes well, then we’ll go on a few more then I inevitably end up ghosted, or call it off if it’s not working from the other end

Loneliness exists inspite of our efforts not because of it.

I’ve been in this city for over a year now, and despite all of the effort, my friend group hasn’t grown

Couldn't outrage culture be seen as a good thing? What is the appropriate response, if not outrage, to rampant systemic racism, sexism, and other forms of social injustice? Should we just lie down and accept it?

No, I’ve had bad neighbors. What I haven’t done is to generalize the experience to seek to avoid neighbors as a class, which is exactly what misanthropy is, as well as exactly what white flight and suburbanism is.

Also, as long as you’re prattling about “rights”, please notice how easily you assumed the right to mischaracterize and invent a convenient and false history for me.

You may cringe at the idea, but it’s worked for me in the past and can be a way to enjoy drinks with complete strangers with whom you have nothing else in common and often without planning ahead.

When I had no friend group, I created a small one around Karaoke night - with complete strangers. I imagine the same might work for other things like pool.