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Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

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Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#181

Post by kortex »

bitL wrote: post #178

What can help: - visualize yourself as a homeless in your late 40s, abandoned by your wife and kids, no longer recognized/avoided by your friends, destitute, in bad health. It's a likely outcome if you don't learn how to finish things, work on your own projects and make it. Think about it as your default future state you want to avoid - remove distractions while you are working on something. If distractions are your…

> visualize yourself as a homeless in your late 40s, abandoned by your wife and kids, no longer recognized/avoided by your friends, destitute, in bad health.

However true this might be, I think this is bad advice for someone with OP'S mental architecture. That sort of thinking only reinforces anxiety (the unhelpful kind, not the fire-under-butt kind), loss of locus of control, and imposter syndrome feelings.

Otherwise good advice.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#183

Post by Steve44 »

dtx1 wrote: post #82

What helped me here are two things: 1. The book getting things done by david allen. He just very explains to you how organizing works or how it often fails and what to do about it. Basically a smart person guide to keeping organized 2. Realizing that it wasn't motivation i was lacking cause that is fleeting and temporary but discipline. Not motivated? Fuck it, do it anyway. Motivated? Good, keep doing it.

> 2. Realizing that it wasn't motivation i was lacking cause that is fleeting and temporary but discipline. Not motivated? Fuck it, do it anyway. Motivated? Good, keep doing it.

I would say that realising all the push for motivation is generally misguided. Discipline isn't easy but it sets the frame of mind to just get on with whatever needs to be done.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#184

Post by abalone »

It could be ADHD, but believe it or not I'd explore whether it's an addiction issue. I think there should be more discussion and analysis of the relationship between addiction and chronic procrastination.

What else are you doing with your time? You made a couple of references to video games as a reward system... do you spend a lot of time playing games instead of working? Are there related addictive-ish behaviors like watching porn or engaging on Internet forums for hours a day?

Addiction isn't just about substance abuse. It’s about certain brain systems creating instant gratification feedback loops. Chronic procrastinators who don't abuse substances might be missing out on a whole body of literature and research about how this aspect of our brain works.

Another thing to consider is whether freelancing, your only career, is something you’ve chosen to enable yourself to pursue addictive behaviors.

I’ve just read a book on this called The Biology of Desire, the thesis of which is addiction is not a “disease”. More of a dysfunctional inter operation of brain systems in response to anxiety and trauma. It has several stories of how people recovered and reconfigured their minds.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#185

Post by sschueller »

bitL wrote: post #178

What can help: - visualize yourself as a homeless in your late 40s, abandoned by your wife and kids, no longer recognized/avoided by your friends, destitute, in bad health. It's a likely outcome if you don't learn how to finish things, work on your own projects and make it. Think about it as your default future state you want to avoid - remove distractions while you are working on something. If distractions are your…

Working out of fear of losing everything will make you miserable and can actually block you from getting things done. I would try to find positive outlooks not negative ones. Reward, not punishment.

Your other points however are very helpful.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#186

Post by JeremyNT »

Do your goals actually make sense to you? Why have you set these goals? I'd start asking these fundamental questions, because it may be that you simply aren't engaged in your career path. Do you actually enjoy your work? Do you think you'd enjoy starting a business? Or are you just trying to get paid?

If you don't have the passion for the actual work, and you don't care that much about the money, then you'll never feel that motivation you talk about. And that's OK! You can force yourself to get there by playing games and tricking yourself, but is that worth it? Maybe working a solid 20-30 hours as a freelancer who makes enough to get by while pursuing other interests isn't so bad. If so, embrace it! Don't beat yourself up over failing to meet some arbitrary goals.

Maybe there's something entirely different you'd rather be doing. You're young enough that you can still find your passion if it lies elsewhere. Have you ever been driven to complete anything? Is there anything you just can't get enough of doing? Think about it. Maybe it pays less, but maybe that doesn't matter, because if you enjoy it, if it gives you a sense of accomplishment, maybe that's worth more than making extra money.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#187

Post by pyrophane »

taneq wrote: post #136
ashtube wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

100% this. Break down the tasks into smaller and smaller chunks, use an app like Todoist to track it. So create a project for each major task, and have all the todo's inside that project. You'll feel achievement as you complete each small task, and within no time you'll find you have completed the project, AKA, one big task.

Any recommendations for something like this that's local-only or self-hosted? I've been on the lookout for such a thing for a while but they all seem to be SaaS web app type things.

I use index cards and a pen! I like to have something that is physically in front of me all the time. It works great.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#188

Post by pps43 »

Ivan Pavlov, famous for his dog experiments, wrote about something he called "target reflex" (approximate translation, I could not find his 1916 book by that name in English). That's the desire to capture the flag, reach another level, or set a new record that's keeping you glued to the screen when you're playing a videogame. Learn to ride this reflex.

lugg gives a good trick: do one thing. Nobody has time for 100 pushups, but surely you can do one, right?

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#189

Post by ben_jones »

scotty79 wrote: post #74

Get hired in some software corporation. You'll be amazed how easy the work is and how well it pays. The only motivation you'll need is to get up in the morning and haul you ass to the office. After few months of what will feel like vacation to you, in the company of fresh smart people, you'll start to get bored, even despite doing more hobby programming in your free time then you done in a long time. But at this poin…

It was a cliff note but certain forms of media can do great harm to certain personality types. FPS games in particular kind of numb me with all the input and I can easily get lost for hours by the constant engagement. I kind of solved it by having my laptop be a dual boot with windows/macos, but even then its constantly tempting.

Re: Ask HN: Is it 'normal' to struggle so hard with work?

#190

Post by giblaz »

raducu wrote: post #150
endymi0n wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Went through Ritalin (normal & XR), amphetamine, SSRI and tricyclic antidepressants, but in hindsight none of those gave me much leverage... just left me with holes in my short term memory I'm still regularly annoyed by. YMMV of course, I'm not a doctor and results in this space vary wildly. The really large improvements came from external structure and therapy. BTW I experienced pretty much the same as you did in th…

Ritalin and amphetamine did not improve your focus/motivation? Not even the first couple of times you tried them?

Adderall helps me with focus and motivation but it makes me feel absolutely not like myself. I've done various drugs throughout my life but the feeling I had on Adderall was honestly downright scary once I had wrapped up the programming tasks I set out to do on it.
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