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Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

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Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#181

Post by soperj »

Analemma_ wrote: post #123
soperj wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We had a laptop with windows 95 on it. Just because you weren't on the internet, didn't mean you couldn't use a computer...there were actually lots of things that you would do without a connection then.

That's not really what I meant. Of course there were computers then. What I mean is that "ubiquitous screens and connectivity" wasn't yet a thing, and it's a phenomenon that crept up on us, so it's a little unfair to blame parents of a kid born ~1997 for not locking down screen time. We didn't know that was really a problem (at least, a problem distinct from "too much TV") until just a few years ago.

I was born in 83. I'd definitely say I had too much screen time as a kid. I was generally either on a computer or watching tv most of the time that I wasn't playing hockey or at school (or doing homework), I could still play gameboy on the way to the rink. I think I actually have less screen time now and I'm a programmer, and do programming at home on the side after work as well. Mostly I cut out the tv watching, since it seems like such a waste of time.

I don't think it's that screentime itself that's such a problem, but the content, and mindlessness of some stuff. I'm happy to let my 5 year old watch Cosmos with me, Paw Patrol on the other hand makes the kid go crazy.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#182

Post by sametmax »

alexanat wrote: post #166
sametmax wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a (painful, annoying and unfair) way around this. Actively socialize a lot with people in your neighborhood. Including the old lady next door, local cops, teachers and shop owners. And once you know 50 persons around by name and they have your phone number, tell them one by one that you intend to let your child going out more and more out by him/herself to learn autonomy. Ask them to not worry, but to keep a…

This is a wonderful idea. You mention Facebook - I think FB could be leveraged here as well.. perhaps a neighborhood group.

That's not going to work. Trust and desire to help cannot being batch processed. Well... It can but you need strong leader qualities that few people have.

But you can mix both approaches;

You can do one-on-one to create / maintain the relationship, and utilize social networks to organize the community.

But if you want your local baker to go out of his way to get your child out of trouble, you need to look him in the eyes when you ask for it. And you need to do that for each person you recruit. There is no way around it.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#183

Post by losteverything »

Xeoncross wrote: post #157
losteverything wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My kid tells us we did her/him a big disservice by just who were were: an in love couple with a good marriage. She/he tells us ahe/he was so unprepared for relationships and the knowledge that others' sid not come from our style home (happy marriage filled with love, imo) Now how does one predict that??? Introduce my kids to broken marriages?

> My kid tells us we did her/him a big disservice by just who were were: an in love couple with a good marriage. This is just their perception and proposed solution. Ruining your marriage so they will be comfortable in a bad relationship is crazy. Parents often fail to teach their kids how they got to this point. I have made a point to make sure I don't just take for granted my kids know everything I know. What to lo…

What a great statement. So true! It may seem trivial but this is important..

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#184

Post by Clubber »

watwut wrote: post #140
Clubber wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Teenage boys and girls partying together without adults I was assuming you were suggesting large parties regardless of age is a new historical phenomenon. Although, fraternities and sororities have been around for hundreds of years and they're 17-21 or so. I'm sure they've had parties most of that time. It's probably how they started. Not sure if that counts with teen-only criteria. The concept of adult age has chan…

Sororities were around for hundreds years? Are they not offshots of fraternities after women were allowed on universities? When I read old times, I tend to imagine either rural living or middle classes in cities or something else more common. Of course they had fun and socialized, but it was not the same as 80ties or something.

US Sororities have been around in the US since the mid-late 1800s, but that's not really the point. The point is teen-ish people have been having big parties a lot longer than "recent phenomena." Fraternities, think Greeks and Romans, pagan festivals, etc.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#185

Post by yakitori »

cutler wrote: post #87

Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. We just can't see the danger in technology so long as we're blinded by everything shiny. Human beings are primarily social beings and no, that does not mean peering at each other through the alienating window of a mobile phone screen. In 1969, at the age of 9, I could be left to play with my friends and wander several miles from home without any sens…

> that does not mean peering at each other through the alienating window of a mobile phone screen.

Says who? You are falling into the trap every old person does. Thinking their youth was great and that society is going to crumble since you are on your way out and the kids today didn't live like you did.

> In 1969, at the age of 9, I could be left to play with my friends and wander several miles from home without any sense of danger.

The more things change, the more things stay the same. When you were 9, your grandparents and other old people were saying the same thing. Society is falling apart. Kids are sat in front of "idiot boxes", turntables, etc. Or wasting time playing silly games or rotting their brains listening to rock and roll.

When I was growing up in the 90s, old people were blaming MTV, gangsta rap and 3 way phone conservations for the end of society.

> There was balance because we had less technology

Not compared to your grandparents.

> It's unthinkable.

It's unthinkable because you are old and out of touch. Kids today do all the things you did. Maybe not as much. They go to school. Interact with their classmates. Hang out with their neighborhood friends. Play stickball, football, etc.

So don't worry. Society will be fine without you and life will go on. Who knows, when I get to be your age, I'll be saying how VR tech is ruining kids. I hope not.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#186

Post by weej »

pavel_lishin wrote: post #53
the-dude wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here you have a 'counterdote' : I am 43. After the first year of high school ( I was 13 ), we were allowed to travel to the other side of the country by train, sleep in a youth hostel and return at the end of the next day. This is NL, the other side of the country is only 350km. When we tell younger friends, they refuse to believe.

America is a wholly different place. I was born in the mid-80s in Moscow, Russia, and moved to America when I was ten. Before I moved, I was regularly taking the subway, with transfers, to school - by myself. Here in America, I had a coworker a few years ago who literally would not let his double-digit-aged children cross the street to school by themselves. It's a weird fuckin' place.

I don't disagree, but it's also parents and nanny state mentality for enabling/coddling children. There are exceptions.

I live in USA, and my child started walking to the school bus stop alone at age 7. There's value-add in giving kids more freedom and responsibility. I see it every day that my child treats her freedom as a privilege, and gains more self confidence.

I hope this helicopter/snow plow parenting trend begins to fade in America.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#187

Post by josephjrobison »

ashark wrote: post #73
westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

If your parents had eliminated screens when you were very young (including theirs) save maybe one publicly-placed crappy terminal for wikipedia or looking up business hours or maps or learning you some programming or whatever, but loosened the reigns on hang-outs and travel, do you think you'd have still felt isolated because all your friends were still online most of the time? Asking as a parent with three young kid…

Just limit to one hour a day unless they’re programming or researching or creating and they’ll be fine.

Was limited to an hour of tv and games a day as a kid and of course craved more, but me and siblings did well in school and socially partially from that.

Anecdotal 2 cents.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#188

Post by mnm1 »

westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

I grew up in the 90's like this after my family moved to the US, coming from a culture that was the complete opposite, where I went anywhere in the city at seven years old by myself. I figured it was just because my parents were super paranoid immigrants who went through hell back home and for years to get to the US. I know what you say is anecdotal, but I too have seen it in some of my other friends' families also. It saddens me to no end that this has potentially become the new norm here. It really borders on child abuse, IMO, and causes me to question the values of a society which encourages and even enforces such disgusting, shameful treatment of kids.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#189

Post by djhworld »

dawhizkid wrote: post #22

I wonder why the "young adult nightlife experience" feels so stagnant. I like going to the occasional upscale cocktail bar, but in general spending Friday or Saturday night in a crowded bar or club is not my idea of a fun thing to do. What is the alternative for more introverted people? Stay home? I went to Copenhagen recently and on a Friday night came across a big coffee/beer+wine place with lots of tables/sofas th…

> I wonder why the "young adult nightlife experience" feels so stagnant.

I'm wondering if financial pressures play into this, student loans, saving for a downpayment in a property market that's accelerating away from you, ballooning rents, health insurance, saving for retirement etc

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#190

Post by AnIdiotOnTheNet »

nine_k wrote: post #180
westmeal wrote: post #9

I know, I know this is anecdotal 'evidence'. I happen to be 21 which fits me right in this generation and the main reason this occurs is due to parenting. My parents wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ by myself until I was at least 17. By that time I was completely and utterly addicted to computing to just let go and 'hang out'. As a matter in fact most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life. It…

> most of my friends are online rather than 4 real friends in real life I think it's time to stop thinking of online as something less real than meatspace, and online friends as somehow inferior to face-to-face friends. (Cue copious evidence of amazing friendships and happy marriages started online.)

How people find online communities that aren't so terrible that loneliness is preferable is beyond me. Of course, that's also true of meatspace communities, so maybe the problem is just me.
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