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The psychology of stress and burnout

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181–190 of 216 posts

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#181

It's all in your head, for better or worse. Extreme sports or intense physical exertion have been key, for me, in dealing with daily stress. And no, I'm not some superstar adrenaline pumped athlete, just an amateur that loves skydiving/paragliding/fast motorcycles/hiking/etc over the weekend. I didn't realize how much these activities help me, until I had to take a break from them for whatever reason (e.g.: winter wh…

I would be careful. I got into extreme sports (motorcycle road racing) when stress became overwhelming for me and it turned out to be a manifestation of my BPD. It was therapeutic for the reasons you give, but also because I had a death wish. As a result, I came very close to dying or permanently injuring myself on a couple different occasions – and I am the sole provider for my family with a one and four year old. I…

"It was therapeutic for the reasons you give, but also because I had a death wish."

This is a problem. High sensation seeker, (dopamine seeker) with low perception of risk. Understanding risk is a skill. You can improve it through training and applying conscious decision making. Risk management is trying to mitigate the "unknown, unknowns." If you do not understand the risks, you cannot avoid the pitfalls until it stares you in the face.

Risk is also relative. Stand on the side of a busy road you are (mostly) safe. Walk out onto a busy road you are not. It's that stark.

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is very easy to fail as a restaurant because you signed the wrong lease/for the wrong place/at the wrong location/in the wrong neighborhood, or any combination thereof. Everyone I personally know in the food services industry works harder than anyone I know doing computer programming. Every task that happens in back and front of house has a very specific start time and a very specific duration allowance - there is…

The difference is the type of stress, the mental effort, and the expectations. At the end of a hard day in the kitchen I'm ready to go hang out with friends and enjoy my free time. At the end of a hard day as a software dev I can hardly string a sentence together and want to go be by myself. Likewise in the kitchen I didn't get given completely unrealistic timeframes. As long as I focused and worked hard it was all g…

That's most of what I tried to express earlier about the difference between dev/eng and "production" work. Being in the blur and under pressure, without moving targets around and under your feets that creeps in your life seems to be prevalent in the former way more than in the later (even though https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12987866 tells a different story too).

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#183

A large part of why I left my business after eleven years six months ago was because I mismanaged stress to the degree that it had severe consequences upon my health. At the time, like a frog in warming water, I constantly normalised it - working 20 hours a day for a year isn't stressful, it's heroic! I enjoy this! I thrive on stress. The booze? Oh, that's just to help keep me awake. About four years ago I stopped ea…

Thank you so much for sharing this. If more people would share then maybe it would help solve the root problem.

It's too easy for many high-performing people to display an image that it's all cake, no stress - even when they're secretly being crushed. Then, other high-performing people see them and think, 'that person does so much and barely breaks a sweat - I've got to pick up my game.' And, then it spreads and spreads until we are all secretly playing the game and slowly killing ourselves.

Not too long ago, I walked away from a potentially large payout. It sucks to think about it. But, I had enough money in the bank, and it just was not worth it. I was the company's hero, the core of the technology, and I was leading many of my younger employees along my same self-destructive path. On the surface I looked invincible and had answers for everyone and could take on every task, but on lunch breaks I was doing shots of whiskey in my car.

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#184
I'm in full-blown burnout mode right now, but it's more related to dissatisfaction with the work I'm doing. I'm fucking sick and tired of building web apps and I want to work in more interesting/technical topics such as computer vision. But the time investment needed to build the background and experience required to be useful working on those kinds of problems seems impossible to manage while working full-time. I'm really at a loss as for what to do. What's worse is that this longing for more meaningful work has begun morphing into a pretty serious case of depression and is impacting my ability to do my job. Anyone ever found themselves in this kind of a situation? What did you do?

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#185

I'm in full-blown burnout mode right now, but it's more related to dissatisfaction with the work I'm doing. I'm fucking sick and tired of building web apps and I want to work in more interesting/technical topics such as computer vision. But the time investment needed to build the background and experience required to be useful working on those kinds of problems seems impossible to manage while working full-time. I'm…

As someone who just transitioned from university to a pretty much unrelated programming job, it occurs to me that I could have gone into either web development or computer vision, to use your example. Either way I would have been joining a team as a junior developer with only hobbyist experience and expected to learn on the job. Perhaps if you lowered your salary expectations and were willing to accept a relatively junior level role you would be able to break into that area of work, and with your existing experience would be able to work your way up more quickly than a truly junior dev like myself.

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#186

I'm in full-blown burnout mode right now, but it's more related to dissatisfaction with the work I'm doing. I'm fucking sick and tired of building web apps and I want to work in more interesting/technical topics such as computer vision. But the time investment needed to build the background and experience required to be useful working on those kinds of problems seems impossible to manage while working full-time. I'm…

As someone who just transitioned from university to a pretty much unrelated programming job, it occurs to me that I could have gone into either web development or computer vision, to use your example. Either way I would have been joining a team as a junior developer with only hobbyist experience and expected to learn on the job. Perhaps if you lowered your salary expectations and were willing to accept a relatively j…

I probably would be willing to take a salary hit. Thanks for the advice.

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#187
post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who's been there, it all depends how hard it was. You can recover from light burnouts quickly (by traveling, taking sports), however, hard burnouts change you for life - you'll be lucky to not end up as alcoholic or drug addict. For me, it took couple of years and few failed jobs until I got on track. Today, I'm more than happy to be my own boss as freelancer.

Hello! I'm currently on the "couple of years and a failed job" track... any advice?

Stay away from anything remotely stressful for a while, slowly build your tolerance for stress back up, pay attention to what your body and mind are telling you and don't let anyone force you back into the same situation.

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#188

It's all in your head, for better or worse. Extreme sports or intense physical exertion have been key, for me, in dealing with daily stress. And no, I'm not some superstar adrenaline pumped athlete, just an amateur that loves skydiving/paragliding/fast motorcycles/hiking/etc over the weekend. I didn't realize how much these activities help me, until I had to take a break from them for whatever reason (e.g.: winter wh…

Yes, exactly this. By increasing the regularity with which I exercise and engage in other non-IT pursuits, my ability to deal with bullshit at work has grown tremendously. I think it boils down to this: The more you value your out-of-the-office life and the more enjoyment you gain from it, the less negative impact your job can have on your life. Of course that's dependent on having a job that permits you to have a li…

>The more you value your out-of-the-office life and the more enjoyment you gain from it, the less negative impact your job can have on your life.

This 1000 times. There was nothing physically challenging about the work that burned me out. I wasn't starving to death, I could stop doing it at any time (in theory), and it would have been perfectly manageable for someone in a stronger mental state than me. It was the all consuming, this-work-is-my-life attitude that allowed it to become something so crippling.

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I couldn't tell if your post was satire or not but, assuming it's not, why are you still working there?

some people are weak decision makers in real life.

Unnecessarily cruel, but not necessarily untrue.

Re: The psychology of stress and burnout

#190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The thing that burns me out about freelance is the client just views you as a cost center. Always want more work in less time. I start to fantasize about the "camaraderie" of being on a team. Maybe there needs to be a Freelancer's Local Union.

I found reframing myself as a vendor (and small business owner) rather than a freelancer changed everything.

This is especially valuable if you can develop a specialized skill to sell as a "product" over and over... I suppose I've found that a "can/will do anything" attitude is much better suited to employment/cofounding than consulting.
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