Find a new city • Hacker News Board

Re: Find a new city

#181

Post by untilHellbanned » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 5:18 AM UTC

et-al wrote: post #168

untilHellbanned wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you lived in middle america?

Grew up Illinois. Got into one fight middle and one in high school because people taunted me over my race (I'm Chinese). And while roadtripping throughout the Midwest, sometimes people would toss racial epithets at you in the most indirect way; e.g. Just a mutter as they pass you. The only time I felt directly threatened was while stopping for gas in rural Indiana, and again that was with a group of teenagers who pro…

Normal looking, upper middle class Christian white man here from Fort Wayne, IN who's lived in 4 major cities Boston, Philadelphia, WAsh DC, and St. Louis and a mix of others Augusta, GA, Princeton, NJ, Ann Arbor, MI.

City vs. not is the key distinction. Racists/sexists/etc. exist in equal numbers in less populated parts of every state. Interestingly, the immigrants who primarily live in cities tend to be similarly racist/sexist as the Americans in less populated parts. My point is to challenge the idea that middle america is relatively bad.

Re: Find a new city

#182

Post by maneesh » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 7:02 AM UTC

ecopoesis wrote: post #163

smelterdemon wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm sure Boston is fine in reality for LGBT individuals, it's just not the first city that springs to mind in terms of progressiveness. It's more stereotypically lunkheaded.

Like most places, it depends were you are. Cambridge, Somerville or JP, no problem; but Southie and certain parts of Charlestown are not very evolved.

Southie has changed a LOT in the last couple years...

Re: Find a new city

#183

Post by hiram112 » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 7:29 AM UTC

bufordsharkley wrote: post #48

This idea that cities reach a point of maximum growth, become unaffordable, and should be abandoned by potential newcomers: this is currently true, but it's a broken system, and it's time we look at ways we can improve it. When a city becomes unaffordable, when rents skyrocket-- those expenses are someone else's windfalls. When people expect the value of real estate to rise and rise indefinitely-- those windfalls are…

I've been hearing these NIMBY complaints for a while from SF Hacker News commenters and didn't really pay attention as I live in the suburbs of DC.

Sure enough, I noticed a sign from a concerned citizens group at Starbucks the other day. Basically rallying up the troops to oppose a new 5 story apartment is a very residential wealthy area.

Thinking about for a minute, I started to get pretty damn angry: 1. The average house in this neighborhood is well over $500k. 2. The prices have probably tripled since the mid 90's. 3. The vast majority of homeowners are aged 50+ with nice gov, military, and private sector pensions.

Meanwhile, those of us aged 35 and below are either living with roommates or spending about 2/3 of our take home pay on rent. Buying a house in the area is out of reach for everyone except a few couples with high dual incomes.

Part of me wants to start going to these meetings to let these older folks know that these type of restrictions are really damaging to the generations behind them. I doubt they'd care much, though.

Re: Find a new city

#184

Post by angrow » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 10:00 AM UTC

untilHellbanned wrote: post #181

et-al wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Grew up Illinois. Got into one fight middle and one in high school because people taunted me over my race (I'm Chinese). And while roadtripping throughout the Midwest, sometimes people would toss racial epithets at you in the most indirect way; e.g. Just a mutter as they pass you. The only time I felt directly threatened was while stopping for gas in rural Indiana, and again that was with a group of teenagers who pro…

Normal looking, upper middle class Christian white man here from Fort Wayne, IN who's lived in 4 major cities Boston, Philadelphia, WAsh DC, and St. Louis and a mix of others Augusta, GA, Princeton, NJ, Ann Arbor, MI. City vs. not is the key distinction. Racists/sexists/etc. exist in equal numbers in less populated parts of every state. Interestingly, the immigrants who primarily live in cities tend to be similarly r…

We can clearly see that's your point, but it's a mystery to me why you think your experience outweighs that of the parent (though the nonsequitor about immigrants offers a depressing clue).

Re: Find a new city

#185

Post by untilHellbanned » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 1:19 PM UTC

angrow wrote: post #184

untilHellbanned wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Normal looking, upper middle class Christian white man here from Fort Wayne, IN who's lived in 4 major cities Boston, Philadelphia, WAsh DC, and St. Louis and a mix of others Augusta, GA, Princeton, NJ, Ann Arbor, MI. City vs. not is the key distinction. Racists/sexists/etc. exist in equal numbers in less populated parts of every state. Interestingly, the immigrants who primarily live in cities tend to be similarly r…

We can clearly see that's your point, but it's a mystery to me why you think your experience outweighs that of the parent (though the nonsequitor about immigrants offers a depressing clue).

Did I say my point was better than the parent? I didn't. They're point is equally valid. I was simply arguing my case.

As for the "non sequitur", it was exactly NOT a non-sequitur. What I meant is to point out an unfortunate irony thats it's human nature to discrimate. The people in middle america were once immigrants. The current immigrants in cities in my wide variety of experiences have surprised me with their discriminatory tendencies. I've been at several well known universities so it's not an education thing either.

Re: Find a new city

#186

Post by nommm-nommm » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 2:50 PM UTC

nostromo wrote: post #60

rpazyaquian wrote: post #34

This jumped out at me: > “I’m trans, so I need to live somewhere progressive so I feel safe day-to-day and don’t feel like I’m going to get beat up for using the wrong restroom.” This is a pretty damn good reason to live somewhere like Seattle or Boston, and a pretty damn good reason not to live somewhere like (edit:) North Carolina or Tennessee or Georgia. The reality is that many of us are limited by not wanting to…

Have you actually spent time in Raleigh or Atlanta? The idea that trans people are getting murdered in the street is just not correct. I'm gay and I've spent a lot of fun nights in Boise, Idaho because a gay friend of mine lives there with her wife. We always have a blast. She has a great career in Boise and I don't think she's experienced more homophobia there than when she lived in New York City. (I know she had at…

Wait someone lived in NYC and was cat-called only ONCE? Most women are cat-called or otherwise street harassed in NYC on a regular basis. I base this on talking to my friends who live in NYC and my experiences visiting.

Re: Find a new city

#187

Post by orasis » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 3:02 PM UTC

I used to live in Fargo, North Dakota, and might suggest that as an affordable town that embraces weirdos.

Re: Find a new city

#188

Post by merpnderp » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 4:42 PM UTC

justinlardinois wrote: post #139

merpnderp wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That sounds really oppressive. Perhaps instead of moving, just tell people no thanks, f off, or mind your own business. And who are these people constantly saying they'll pray for them? A trans person walks into a store and people just start annoying them?

> just tell people no thanks, f off, or mind your own business. Sounds like a good way to escalate an already uncomfortable situation. It's damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I offered three entirely different options. "No thank you" to politely decline the offer. "F off" to show your extreme displeasure. And "mind your own business" for public shaming.

Holy crap do people project much.

Re: Find a new city

#189

Post by et-al » Sat, Aug 06, 2016, 6:41 PM UTC

untilHellbanned wrote: post #181

et-al wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Grew up Illinois. Got into one fight middle and one in high school because people taunted me over my race (I'm Chinese). And while roadtripping throughout the Midwest, sometimes people would toss racial epithets at you in the most indirect way; e.g. Just a mutter as they pass you. The only time I felt directly threatened was while stopping for gas in rural Indiana, and again that was with a group of teenagers who pro…

Normal looking, upper middle class Christian white man here from Fort Wayne, IN who's lived in 4 major cities Boston, Philadelphia, WAsh DC, and St. Louis and a mix of others Augusta, GA, Princeton, NJ, Ann Arbor, MI. City vs. not is the key distinction. Racists/sexists/etc. exist in equal numbers in less populated parts of every state. Interestingly, the immigrants who primarily live in cities tend to be similarly r…

> My point is to challenge the idea that middle america is relatively bad.

Gotcha. I'm glad you're challenging me because it's making me refine my thoughts.

Middle America often denotes the Midwest, but this is the wrong connotation and I shouldn't have used it.

Middle America is any region in America where there's a stagnation of thought due to lack of new people and new ideas. Urban or rural, Midwest or coastal. And next time, I'll use the term "homogenous towns" to avoid this ambiguity over geography.

Thank you.

Re: Find a new city

#190

Post by logfromblammo » Mon, Aug 08, 2016, 2:41 PM UTC

madgar wrote: post #135

logfromblammo wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Diversity is a good thing. It's what keeps one opinion from forming a supermajority and subsequently browbeating all non-aligned opinions into lonely silence. For instance, a lot of people around here enjoy football--so many, in fact, that it leads people to assume that everybody likes it. I don't. I think it's a fundamentally flawed sport, and not particularly interesting to watch. But since it's so popular, it's al…

What does any of all that have to do with values?

It's just the most insignificant example of how being even slightly outside the local cultural norms can grate on your psyche. If I can get irritated at how people around here are football obsessed, anything more significant must have a greater impact.

So if people around here are generally hostile towards homosexuality, a gay person must feel worse than I do when people start talking about specific players on specific teams and upcoming scheduled games and the keystone play of some past game and just shut up, shut up, will you please shut the hell up about football for once?!

It makes me wonder how people even further from the norm than myself can even find the strength to get up out of bed in the morning, or, once risen, get through the entire day without destroying some ignorant blatherer with a beam of pure rage exploding from their foreheads.

It's not just about being around people who are different, but having enough different people around you that you can't just assume everyone else is like you. If you don't know that someone is Muslim, and make a derogatory comment about Muslims in front of them, that person might not feel secure enough socially to confront you about it. So they keep their religion secret from you, and you might continue crapping on something important to them, without anyone ever telling you that you shouldn't do that.

If, on the other hand, you live in a city where anybody could be anything, you are more likely to encounter situations where you are the minority in some way, and therefore will probably be more sensitive to how it feels when a local majority tramples over your opinions.

You just have to realize that other people might not share your opinions, interests, and values, and if yours are part of the local majority, other people might just be humoring you to fit in better, or irritated at the constant reminders that they are not part of the dominant tribe.