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We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

bbc.co.uk

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Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#171

Post by kortilla »

foxglacier wrote: post #134
paulryanrogers wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But supposedly neurotypical people demonstrate what seems to me like a stunning lack of empathy (or more generally, ability to comprehend other worldviews) all the time. IME religion facilities this phenomenon. In-group members (esp men) get forgiveness and freedom from consequences (perhaps conditioned on saying magic words). Whilst out-groups get "forgiveness" with extra consequences.

Do you mean Christianity? Islam is full of consequences for members - it has a system of laws and punishments. It has forgiveness too but some crimes are unforgiveable even by God. Meanwhile, out-groups are more like enemies that sometimes should be killed if they don't cooperate.

Having some laws for bad behavior doesn’t mean Islam doesn’t let men shirk responsibility. Women are expected to cover themselves because of men being expected to have so little self control.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#172

Post by Der_Einzige »

nithril wrote: post #136
tetromino_ wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Interesting point of view. But it's common for a man to get a work tool as present (e.g. a drill or a set of wrenches), with the obvious implication that the man will usually be the one who will have to use that tool to fix things around the house - and I have never seen anyone find that offensive. So what makes the vacuum cleaner different?

For anyone that like to do DIY, that's not a work tool, that's a play tool that is coincidentally a work tool to do work.

Same thing back at you. The vacuum is a play tool to anyone who finds cleaning to be “fun”.

There’s whole genres of cleanup games on steam which are extremely popular, profitable, and well reviewed.

One of my favorite vectrex games is a Pac-Man clone where you play as a vacuum.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#173

Post by Der_Einzige »

mmooss wrote: post #135
wnevets wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>A large percentage are there because society does not care for those with mental disabilities. This is why it's so frustrating to hear people smugly say we just need to build more houses to solve the homeless crisis.

Attributing 'smugness' is a way to duck the merits of the issue. People with mental disabilities also need a stable roof over their head, security, privacy, heat, a bathroom, a bed. I expect they need it more (very broadly speaking; people have very different disabilities do different degrees), because it's harder to adapt and survive without it, and therefore more traumatizing and destabilizing. There is plenty of e…

You better check your privilege re: your oppressive claims about humans needing to live somewhere to avoid trauma. Do you think the Roma have a lot of trauma just because they are nomads?

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#174

Post by BeetleB »

echelon wrote: post #128
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Happy Christmas, folks! > please have some humanity about the homeless In the US, the homeless population exploded , in the 1980s, when they closed down all the mental institutions. Before that, there was a far less pervasive homeless population in urban areas. Being "on the spectrum," myself (but highly functional), I can attest to how easy it is for an autistic person's life to go sideways. Many autistic folks have…

> when they closed down all the mental institutions. Why on earth did we do this? I look back at period pieces - films showcasing the 40s, 50s, etc., and it seems like mental institutions would be a wonderful way to house these folks and keep them fed and warm. I know there were abuses, but we have cameras now. And that's surely better than leaving them on the streets to freeze to death. I can't imagine it would cost…

> Why on earth did we do this?

Much has been written about this, but from what little I know, they were abusive, and didn't do the job well. And were abused to keep sane people in.

I've heard that the advent of better drugs was also a factor. Prior to those drugs, there was no alternative other than commitment to mental facilities. The drugs gave the promise of a more manageable life - either by the patient or by their family.

What did we replace them with? Prisons.

About 20 years ago I saw a documentary about the use of prisons as a means to get mental health care. It explored the history that led to mental institutions getting shut down, and how prisons are treating the mentally ill. As crazy as it sounds, the prisons are doing a better job - even the inmates agree. Quite a few inmates said that the biggest problem they had was that they would be released from prison and not get access to the care they were receiving (including medications).

It wasn't trying to paint a rosy picture - they actually said this is, in one sense, an abuse of the prison system and that there needs to be a better way to treat them - but the consensus was "Definitely should not revert to the prior mental institutions!"

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#175

Post by Der_Einzige »

ekjhgkejhgk wrote: post #62
rwmj wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, hitchhiking is illegal (in the US presumably)? (Supplemental question: how do you make hitching illegal?) In the UK I've met many interesting people both while hitchhiking myself, and while picking up hitchers. It is a practice that seems to have almost entirely disappeared here, not because it's illegal, but I guess because most people now have cars and some "stranger danger" worries.

You should watch Rambo: First Blood. Great movie.

It’s sadly the only good Rambo IP.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#176

Post by Der_Einzige »

nephihaha wrote: post #170
Peanuts99 wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nordic countries have essentially eradicated homelessness by allowing the government to take an active interest in fixing the underlying issues that cause it. As a citizen, I don't want the burden of having to fix homelessness, that's what I pay taxes for.

The Nordic countries also tend to be brutally cold, dark or damp for a substantial chunk of the year. (With the exception of Denmark perhaps.) No one could survive sleeping outside in those conditions.

People say the same about Seattle or Vancouver BC (and Vancouver WA) but the homeless populations just get larger during the worst weather months.

Turns out with a jacket and fentanyl, and tents, you can survive just about anything!

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#177

Post by afiori »

caminanteblanco wrote: post #82
afiori wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A reasonable solution is to get a free "address" from the post office with optionally phone notifications for mail

Well the only problem here is that general delivery is still not eligible for any of the main things people need an address for, like ID, tax docs, etc. Even if you want to pay for a PO box (which also doesn't satisfy those requirements), you need an address to register for one. I really wish there would be more work to try to at least add some kind of alternative path here, given America's growing homeless populatio…

The post office would identify you on access and hold mail for an appropriate amount of time.

Like for some deliveries you need to sign a receipt that will be legally binding, the post office would take the role of handling those.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#178

Post by eeeficus »

cogman10 wrote: post #13

Beautiful story but with a sad undertone. A large percentage of the homeless have autism [1]. And that really sucks. If these people don't have support, their lives can turn miserable fast. And unfortunately it's just way too easy for these people to end up in abusive situations. It's a lot of work to care for people with autism (moderate to severe). There is no standard for what they need, their capabilities can be…

There’s always someone with the buzzkill. Do you think is really that hard, for those who care, yo find all these sad facts? FFS man, let us celebrate the good a little bit. In this world is really not that hard to find the bad!

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#179

Post by dyauspitr »

KaiserPro wrote: post #162
dyauspitr wrote: post #120

Since no one else is going to be cynical I will do it. This is a heartwarming story. However, it seems like that by taking this man in they got a live in maid along with an additional source of income. The fact that he is autistic and along with his disposition also probably made him feel “safe” to the husband around the women and girls in the house.

I mean, thats one way to look at it. But reading between the lines, having someone with a gambling habit isn't the best live in "maid" especially if they work full time as a bin man. I would just suggest that looking to believe the worst in people will not make you stronger or more effective than others, it'll just make you lonely.

Yeah I try to see the best in people. But the internet is anonymous and my first thoughts revolved around why they would do this for so long.
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