171–180 of 403 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
WAT.
...do you check for texts if you don't have any text notifications telling you to? I certainly don't.
My wife and I put parental controls on each others' phones. I turn them off for travel (in case I need something unexpected) and then back on when I get home. It sounds crazy but it works great.
Having an accountabilibuddy definitely helps establish and maintain compliance.
>Maybe you’re at a restaurant and they need you to open a website for example. Maybe I'll open the door and leave for a different restaurant.
I don't always need the dead tree version of the menu. Those do create extra work for the staff. And I am assuming they need constant replacement. Kids will drop food on them all the time.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I just have all notifications turned off permanently. "But what about..?" Yes, even that.
I do this, but be aware that peoples expectations are that you reply quickly, especially the younger generation. They will perceive your lack of response as you not prioritising them. This has cost me a relationship. (it was long distance to be fair).
Tbh, (imho, having tried it) in normal circumstances it would be a miracle to make anything really work like that, but at present you're just fighting a losing, nearly irreconcilable battle, unless you're both wholly on the same page about infrequent synchronous communication.
If a relationship relies on immediate responses to async, unpredictable, text-based communication, and what you want is a sane lifestyle, it's going to be a tough situation.
I just tell people that need my attention how to get it. Call me if it's important and/or time sensitive, otherwise I'll just check when I check based on the implied nature of the platform. Instagram is super casual unimportant brainrot usually, Messenger for coordinating plans with older millennials and Gen X family, Whatsapp for younger millennials sometimes, SMS or RCS is slightly more important and I'll get visual but not physical or audible notifications. I make it clear that if it's a group chat, I'll turn notifications off unless I'm specifically tagged, or maybe check in once a week if it's for a specific purpose, but otherwise I hate them. Signal for some things that aren't time sensitive, no notifications, no read receipts on any platform.
Before installing all those apps the author listed, I'd recommend this exercise: Let the battery die on your phone, and live one week without it. Cold turkey. Tell people in advance if you need to, give them an alternate way to reach you. Replace your phone for that week with a small notebook that fits in your pocket. During that week, every time you want to do something that requires a smartphone, jot it down in you…
There's the added bonus that being fully out of cell service effectively removes the ability to cheat altogether, though it seems inevitable at this point that satellite data will be invading the backcountry before long.
Interesting! I wish Apple would expand on "Assistive Access" mode. - https://support.apple.com/guide/assistive-access-iphone/set-... They made this for people with cognitive disabilities, but it also works great for older people. It just wouldn't work for me. I need Jira, Slack, and GitHub during work hours for example. But I don't want them during non-work hours. I realize I'm describing something actually doable in…
Seems like way more work than learning to be disciplined.
Are you disciplined about everything you need/want to be disciplined about? Food, exercise, sleep, reading, work, family... You've got it all dialed to a perfection, yes? If not, why not? It is after all easy to learn to be disciplined.
For those that are looking for something more advanced in the Android space a friend of mine built https://limitphone.com/ to handle something like this. It requires a reset, but comes with a lot more options.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I just have all notifications turned off permanently. "But what about..?" Yes, even that.
I've had this for years but it makes me check my phone more often I think. At times I find myself cycling through apps to see if someone replied, whereas if I had a notification I'd know whether or not to bother
1. Screen time to disable browser, App Store etc.
2. Type random 4-digit passwords until you forget.
3. Use your own Apple account as reset.
4. Remove apple password from password manager. Store in “Notes” app or similar on computer.
5. Lock this app storing password behind mandatory typing of gibberish using Cold Turkey on desktop.
Works well for me.
I will mention that as a younger person who grew up with internet access, I get the feeling that the “just be disciplined” comment often comes from people who didn’t have these addictive habits seared into their minds from an early age or have fought them off and forgotten what it’s like to literally lose control of your actions, especially when its normalized around you.
I’ve noticed a lot of older people don’t see the internet as a threat in the same way as I do, and I envy that.
Living with phones like this is completely unnatural.