171–180 of 250 posts
I barely have any friends. Being a single father is incredibly isolating. Doing group activities is the key, but finding a group that can include me and my son is very rare. Also, our neighbors are incredibly impolite. We're hoping to move homes soon, and I am hoping the change in perspective will have a good impact. So I would add neighborhood community also has an impact on socializing.
I've made more friends more easily in my 40s than any other time in my life, and I'm a relatively quiet and disagreeable person. Making connections with people you're around frequently is easy. The problem is that adult life doesn't throw you into those situations post-college outside of work. Now it's on you. Find a group. Sports are the easiest. You will absolutely make strong, long lasting friendships if you play…
I have an idea for an organization for getting building close connections among men: The organization would connect men together and then those men with “chores” they could do within their neighborhood. Yeah, kind of like a free Task Rabbit. But the idea is that the men go out on a mission together to help random people in their community, whether that’s helping someone move some furniture around, or hang some pictur…
maybe this is a projection, but it always seems like the people struggling to make new friends also tend to never put themselves in the bare minimum situation to be able to make said friends. i personally rarely go outside outside of anything related to work. maybe for others it is the same?
Is that not the problem? “I have a hard time making friends” may be eventually interpreted as “I have a hard time putting me in situations to be able to make friends” just 2 sides of the same coin, isn’t it?
For me it went something like: I'm lonely > try to make friends > it's hard, but wait I already have friends > try to reconnect with old friends > for various reasons old friends don't want to/can't be friends > try to make new friends > wait I want my old friends > not going to happen > volunteering
Get a dog, show up regularly to the local dog park. You will quickly meet people.
Great advice if you're a dog lover. You will quickly meet dog-loving people. One stereotype is the dog owners that have dogs as a fashion item. Another stereotype is dog owners that desire a dependent. Recently I've noticed lots of people I thin judge to be good have house plants. So there's definitely something about being able to care for dogs or plants or people. I'd love to hear other thoughts about house plant o…
If I didn't already have a dog, I might build a robotic platform so that I could wander to the park with a dwarf fruit tree in tow.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
That is not what Hikikomori means. Hikikomori is a complete removal of oneself from society often including family and work.
And “analogous” means “similar”, not identical. So what’s your point?
Hikikomori is a level or two beyond what most westerners would think of when imagining an extremely introverted or reclusive person. The condition is more akin to PTSD stemming from severe mental/social trauma.
For further context, the etymology of hikikomori is to "hiku" (literally "pull", contextually in this case to "pull back" from daily life) and "komoru" (to "shelter up", in this case most likely sheltering in your bedroom or mancave or similar safe space).
I've slowly become more reclusive, and have been working from home since COVID. I think it's killing me.
I've made more friends more easily in my 40s than any other time in my life, and I'm a relatively quiet and disagreeable person. Making connections with people you're around frequently is easy. The problem is that adult life doesn't throw you into those situations post-college outside of work. Now it's on you. Find a group. Sports are the easiest. You will absolutely make strong, long lasting friendships if you play…
I ask because your friend group will radically be shaped by who you’d kids friends are.