Martin Fowler: The Fallacies and Reprocussions of Diversity Imbalance

Thanks for the kind words man!...My situation is actually not as hopeless as I am leading people to believe here.

The point I was trying to make was that a bunch of negative experiences with women when you are young leaves very deep scars and these scars manifest themselves as unconscious biases so much that whenever you see a beautiful woman (who will most probably reject you if you tried!) you are automatically biased against her.My brain does this to me so often even though I think I am logical than most other people.

Now I will make another point that is also controversial.(someone needs to say these things!)

See when you grow your skills interacting with women a point comes when the things you cant change matter much more than the things you can, so much that the situation seems pretty helpless.

So at that point even if I bought really expensive clothes and bought myself a mercedes or say became a really smooth talker, how women respond to me would only marginally improve as compared to the non-possible changes such as changing my race to become white...changing my height to become six feet tall etc.

So no matter what I do a six feet tall white guy or a good looking muscular black guy will always have significantly higher odds of attracting a given woman over me.

The more you approach the limit the more you begin to see this brutal truth of the dating world.The things that matter most are things you are born with and this sometimes causes you develop significantly negative feelings towards women as a whole.

(The other answers to the first question are better and I agree with them.)

It is possible (I don't actually know in your case) that there are other factors that make women not want to apply to your company. For example, right now (and in the US) women are more likely than men (for this argument it doesn't matter whether it is cultural or innate) to seek companies that reward people (or at least don't punish people) for wanting a balanced between work and home. A company's career website (or benefits website) can turn off potential applicants if it looks like that balance is not respected. That is particularly true in software because there are software companies that do both.

> The things that matter most are things you are born with and this sometimes causes you develop significantly negative feelings towards women as a whole.

Wrong. You're suffering from confirmation bias.

Guys obsess about money and looks to prove their worth to females, but most of that shit doesn't matter, actually. (It's held against you if you're severely deficient, of course.)

What does? A strong sense of self-identity, confidence, the ability to be both a risk-taker and a stable provider, and, more generally, being an interesting person. These are much harder to work on, so you don't hear as much talk about them. You need to be able to enjoy your life without a girlfriend. You need to have something you love to talk about, and, preferably something you can be good at.

Suck up your pride, ask for help, and start working toward taking responsibility for more of your life.

I'm afraid I didn't see this response until just now, so it's a bit late, but if you're still following this, I'd love to see some more specific references - I googled "recruiting men in nursing" and I see a ton of stuff about how to try to make nursing seem more appealing to guys, but nothing about accusations that the nursing establishment is hostile to men, certainly nothing similar to what is accused against the tech status-quo on a regular basis.

In particular, most of the links related to nursing seem to be making arguments analogous to the much derided "women aren't interested in tech because the work doesn't appeal to women" theory, arguing that men don't like nursing because the work is not perceived by them as male enough in various ways, not that they have any perceptions of anti-male bias in the nursing community. Quite frankly, I'd reject any such notions, since there is no such general feeling, at least none that I've ever heard, so that's not what's keeping people from walking through the nursing school door in the first place (otherwise, I figure I would have been at least cognizant of such a general perception).

Similarly, I'm skeptical whether tech really has any significant misogynist reputation once we look beyond feminist-in-tech bloggers and male me-too hangers-on - none of the women I know seem to have that impression (though granted, they're from pretty varied and non tech-centric backgrounds), and I certainly have not seen where I've worked.

When I have asked my female friends about their impressions of the computer world, they tend to think that yeah, it's a circle-jerk of forever-alone dorks, but they generally assume that they'd be more welcoming to women and more accepting of them than guys in most fields, not less. When asked why they don't do programming-ish stuff themselves, most have said stuff like "that's for the math geeks", and "I study people, not code" (crank the superiority knob to the max on both of those, btw - when I asked this, I got the definite sense that they thought the subject matter was distinctly below them). Not once have I heard "because I've heard that guys in tech treat women like shit" as an answer, which makes me very suspicious when people point to that as the definitive root cause...