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Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

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Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#171

Post by sleepycatgirl »

spaceman_2020 wrote: post #107

Focused too much on making a living in my teens and 20s instead of college and social life. Never pursued artistic interests seriously because I was just too tired from working and stressing out about bills. Now I’m in my 30s with next to no social life and the realization that I’ve wasted away my time and whatever little talent I have. There’s a “regret” folder sitting in my Google Drive with two half-finished books…

Nope. It is never too late. As long as you are alive, you can change things. It certainly won't be easy. But it is doable. The only thing that is stopping you, is your own mind. And I believe in you. You can do it! Also I wish you a nice day, hopefully.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#172

Post by gilbetron »

dankai wrote: post #78

Perhaps a more simple regret, but not buying bitcoin when it was at ~8USD. In hindsight it would've been the easiest way to not have to think about money anymore for the rest of my life.

There are investments you can make right now that will have the same return - why aren't you making those?

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#173

Post by gilbetron »

robertk wrote: post #158

Nothing. Free will doesn’t exist so I just accept what comes my way and naively trust the universe not to be too much of a d$&#. Hopefully that gets me to the finish line.

Yeah, I'm really having a tough time believing in free will anymore. Sure seems like we're just along for the ride - consciousness without free will, what a combo!

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#174

Post by CalRobert »

Buying a thatched cottage in Ireland. It's very pretty, and it checks all the boxes (bike ride from train station), etc. but Ireland's insanely strict protection rules and ridiculous insurance payouts have resulted in every insurer of thatched buildings leaving the country. Additionally, when I applied for permission to build a separate house on the land (it's a few acres) the heritage officer insisted we only build an extension, despite neighbours being permitted to build separate houses on their land, in order to force us to live in the house and "preserve" it. It's a very Irish approach. I extended it just in time to find the extension (and original cottage) completely uninsurable, so unmortgageable, so effectively worthless. A quarter million euro to have a beautiful unsellable unrentable house.

Good discussion of this at https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/oir-media-hourly-files-r2...

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#175

Post by incomingpain »

bheadmaster wrote: post #140

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

>I don't really "believe" in regret.

I don't believe in the past. It's much the same if you think about it.

>Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless.

If you were to jump in a tardis and were to go to the event that you want to change. 100% of the time you will discover the entire thing was a story in your mind. Something you didn't understand at the time and if you were to 'fix' it. You would end up only harming yourself of today.

>The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding yourself of some mistake that should not be repeated in the future. Alas, most regrets I see written by other people are things that will not repeat, e.g. spending your youth doing instead of , not talking to your enough, not investing in before its price went rockets... There's just no point.

Regrets of current day are legitimate. Perhaps it's substance abuse, social media. You know in your mind these things are not good. Nobody brags about these things. You know if you were to quit things would be better, but you have current day regrets of not doing so.

Furthermore, perhaps you're a superhuman with no faults. You can also have regrets having not done more. PErhaps you could have started that business or try to get that book published.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#177

Post by eel »

My biggest regret is drifting apart from family members and friends. I moved to a new state which was great for my marriage and my career, but it has slowly distanced me from the rest of my family.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#178

Post by mylons »

MrsPeaches wrote: post #155
spaceman_2020 wrote: post #107

Focused too much on making a living in my teens and 20s instead of college and social life. Never pursued artistic interests seriously because I was just too tired from working and stressing out about bills. Now I’m in my 30s with next to no social life and the realization that I’ve wasted away my time and whatever little talent I have. There’s a “regret” folder sitting in my Google Drive with two half-finished books…

When every someone says it's too late in life to do something, I like to remind them that Toussaint L'Overture (a former slave) [1] was almost 50 when he led one of the most successful slave rebellions, defeating all of the colonial powers at the time (France, Spain and UK) and laying the ground work for the first independent black state in Carribean. Just a nice example that it ain't too late. [1] https://en.wikiped…

Julia Child didn’t even learn to cook until she was 39. And it was quite a journey from there before she had her famous show and career.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#179

Post by DontchaKnowit »

Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them.

Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique drugs I did was something like 40. I was high on at least something every day for years. Most days more than 1 thing.

I never got truly "hooked" on anything thankfully. I just loved being high. What I didn't realize was that the opportunity cost was enormous. Every second I was in my room fucked out of my gourd staring at the ceiling was a second that I wasn't out making friends. Being a normal person. It was a really solitary and lonesome existence, just retreating further and further into my own head each day. Additionally, being a "drug guy" just completely shuts the door to a whole strata of people : e.g. good luck meeting a woman that shares your Christian morals if you are a drug enthusiast.

Now I'm off the bullshit. Straightened my life out, graduated college, gainfully employed. Etc. But I feel that I've missed the boat on having a fulfilling social life. I don't really know how to meet people. And whenever I talk with people I can't help but feel like I'm some kind of alien.

I'm working on it. But it's so hard to know how to work on it. Especially now that I work from home, and live alone in a suburb.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#180

Post by patwolf »

joshka wrote: post #16

Not maxing out retirement savings early in my career. Compound interest FTW.

If it makes you feel any better, I read a clickbait article this week on why young people shouldn't save for their retirement. The gist is that they can easily make up the difference in their high-earning older years, so it's not worth the sacrifice of trying to save in their low-earning years, especially when the market is flat. I don't necessarily agree, but it is a perspective I hadn't heard before.
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