How to get the most out of your 1:1s • Hacker News Board

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#171

Post by terryf » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 5:21 PM UTC

songzme wrote: post #163

terryf wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a manager - I would love it if someone tells me that! This makes my life so much easier! It means, that I will not have to worry about figuring out a good place for you to grow into. It also means that I will not have to worry about finding a replacement for you after you get promoted. Hell, if you tell me that I'll do everything I can to give you a raise asap. Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what y…

okay I will try this thank you for the suggestion!

Good luck! Hope it works out for you. There are always risks of course, but in the current market, keep in mind that it's highly likely that they need you more than you need them.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#172

Post by mike10921 » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 5:29 PM UTC

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

I sympathize, before becoming a manager I was exactly you. Eventually, I realized I just don't want to be coding all day. I hate the endless chase to become good with some new technology. Being a manager has its own challenges but overall I can say I am much happier than in my prior job where I was an individual contributor.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#173

Post by rramadass » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 5:31 PM UTC

songzme wrote: post #163

terryf wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a manager - I would love it if someone tells me that! This makes my life so much easier! It means, that I will not have to worry about figuring out a good place for you to grow into. It also means that I will not have to worry about finding a replacement for you after you get promoted. Hell, if you tell me that I'll do everything I can to give you a raise asap. Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what y…

okay I will try this thank you for the suggestion!

No, please don't !

Without thinking through all possible consequences do not take any action which will jeopardize your status-quo. There is nothing wrong with your current strategy for your 1:1s. You should know your Manager very well before following "terryf"s suggestion; most Managers will not respond positively to somebody on their team who they think is "stagnating" (slacker, bad for team morale and growth etc. etc.). The worst-case scenario is, you get laid off while the best-case scenario is you never get a raise again.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#174

Post by masterof0 » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 5:42 PM UTC

softwarebeware wrote: post #149

How to get the most out of your 1:1s: cancel them. ;) You almost never need a recurring one and talking about something if/when it's relevant and in context is always better.

I agree, I find those "strategies" on how to talk to your manager , incredibly cringe. What I have worked out for me in 2 FAANGs and 2 regular unknown companies, is working hard, getting things done, when I achieve something that can be shown to other people, I do show it and talk to my manager about compensation, and if I want to move up, I let him know that, I tell him what I think is my timeline for that; if he disagrees, his problem , I find a better place to work, the market for engineers is very competitive. I don't need to be simp-ing to my manager. I think if you keep your relationship with your manager honest and always use a clear, bs free, communication channel with him, you will achieve great things. Managers are just people like you, don't be afraid to leave a bad manager.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#175

Post by wldcordeiro » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 5:50 PM UTC

spadros wrote: post #64

Yeah, I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently, and this article seems to have some more useless “wisdom” here summed up in a nice package. Kind of annoying to me that the writer implies the one on one is for me to fill his valuable time. I’m loving my work, don’t have any issues with my coworkers, and like my current position. I really don’t have critical feedback to bring to the table every one on one. To…

Additionally I have seen multiple articles or heard managers talk about having an open document between themselves and the report that they "own" and can fill up with stuff and as an IC/report I just don't see where I'm supposed to find the time to do all that and additionally as the team manager who is responsible for reporting up what we're doing/etc why don't you do more tracking of my accomplishments/etc too? You're literally reporting up on those accomplishments to higher managers so why can't you also collate that info for me to present in 1:1s?

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#176

Post by thrwy_918 » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 5:57 PM UTC

terryf wrote: post #138

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

As a manager - I would love it if someone tells me that! This makes my life so much easier! It means, that I will not have to worry about figuring out a good place for you to grow into. It also means that I will not have to worry about finding a replacement for you after you get promoted. Hell, if you tell me that I'll do everything I can to give you a raise asap. Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what y…

> Your manager really, really wants to hear what you really honestly think

I mean, yes, this is almost always true, but that does not mean that it's always in your best interests to tell your manager what you honestly think.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#177

Post by greg7gkb » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 6:03 PM UTC

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

As an engineering manager, I would absolutely love to hear this from a report. It provides immediate clarity to me on how to provide great projects and work options for you.

However, there are a few points in your post that may be conflating topics.

First, 'maintaining the current codebase' and providing work that is valuable to the team/org are not the same thing. Some engineers will endlessly poke around the internals of a code base, refactoring, tuning, renaming for clarity, but never provide anything of real value. This is a pitfall.

Second, I would separate 'career growth' from promotion. Companies orient promotion ladders around particular dimensions that you may or may not care about, but that doesn't mean you can't be growing. Consider if there are ways you want to grow that are outside of what your company is asking for as a promotable step. I don't mind if engineers don't want to be promoted but I'm concerned if they have no desire to grow.

Finally, your post makes it sound like you believe an engineer's lack of ambition led to their being laid off, however this may conflate ambition for output. Are you sure a lack of ambition was the reason or were they not producing anything of value (as in point 1 above)?

For bonus courage points, consider having a candid discussion with your manager about each of these topics. I would wager that you will be much better aligned afterwards.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#178

Post by karaterobot » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 6:05 PM UTC

terryf wrote: post #138

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

As a manager - I would love it if someone tells me that! This makes my life so much easier! It means, that I will not have to worry about figuring out a good place for you to grow into. It also means that I will not have to worry about finding a replacement for you after you get promoted. Hell, if you tell me that I'll do everything I can to give you a raise asap. Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what y…

> Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what you really honestly think.

As the original commenter noted, the person who was honest about what they really thought was the one laid off when the time came. I won't say it's true for you, but at many organizations "I really want to hear what you honestly think..." has a second clause: "... so that I know who my most valuable 'resources' are."

I'm unconvinced that (from the employee's perspective) the best way to engage with management or HR is radical transparency.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#179

Post by novembermike » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 6:10 PM UTC

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

One thing to keep in mind is that "expert on team's codebase" is a form of career growth. Not always the best or most prestigious kind but it's enough that the company finds you valuable and worth paying more.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#180

Post by swframe2 » Wed, Mar 09, 2022, 6:14 PM UTC

I have seen 1:1s used more strategically by employees who have 1on1 with managers outside their team. These employees often get promoted quickly. Note, at performance review time, employees are stacked against each other. If the other managers know you well and are giving you advice then chances are they won't push back if your manager ranks you highly. In addition, employees are ranked by how much they influence others so it helps to have a relationship with the other team leads and to know their goals. Furthermore, some managers don't care about their direct report's careers so having a 1on1 with another manager gives you a chance to get advice that your manager might not want you to know. For example, your manager most likely will not tell you how to be promoted above him/her; if you talk to another manager you can learn this.