Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech • Hacker News Board

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#171

Post by throwaway90090 » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:23 PM UTC

alias_neo wrote: post #107

vmception wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> once you know what goes on under the hood you won't ever feel like touching one of them with a ten foot pole. I love gaming the algorithm to meet hotter* people than I would meet using the apps the most intuitive way. *It's not subjective, there are profiles that attract way more attention and would either: never be shown to you, or you never shown to them.

I've never done online dating, met my wife the old-fashioned way, but, it sounds like you're saying the network is making the choice of who should be matched/together, before they get the chance to decide for themselves? If that's true, how anyone thinks that isn't totally fucked is beyond me. I mean, I'm seriously, deeply concerned by this notion more than the usual privacy, data etc that big tech concerns me with,…

You have an Elo rating, like in chess (or something like that - it depends on the app and they sometimes tweak it, but the gist is that rating is defined recursively: your rating increases if you get liked by high rated people), and you get matched with people within a given range around your rating. When you lose interest they punctually entice you with out-of-range profiles.

Like in chess, they show you very high rated people at first, to ascertain your initial rating and above all to hook you with all the attractive profiles. As your rating becomes more and more accurate as people in your pool swipe you, your range of matchable profiles narrows down.

(Edit: As another user said, you may sometimes lose rating by matching low-rated or too many people, but the exact details may change a lot.)

The main target demographics are the really high rated people (who entice everyone else) and the really low rated people, who pay up for every premium feature in order to get noticed, i.e. artificially boost their rating. (But just because you have a GM's rating doesn't mean you have a GM's skill, so the gains are hollow and you have to keep paying to stay above your original rating range). The equivalent would be chess beginners paying up for an Open Tournament in order to help subsidize the GMs appearance fee and prizes.

And as in chess, an elite of very high rated people has all the fun while everyone else sorts of sucks and flounders. That's not because of evolutionary psychology or some fundamental truth of human nature, that's just how rating (and by extension any kind of skill following a power-law distribution) works.

I agree, it comically sucks that people are letting themselves being paired by a shitty implementation of League of Legends.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#172

Post by emteycz » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:23 PM UTC

throwuxiytayq wrote: post #53

pavlov wrote: post #4

Getting banned from Tinder is like getting banned from a bar. Just go somewhere else.

How many Tinders is there? In my country they's pretty much only it, none of the other apps have any users (especially in my age range). I'm also "kinda" banned on Tinder btw - or rather, my account got in an unusable state due to some bug, or an interaction between multiple bugs. The app literally barely works . How pathetic for a company this size. I feel sorry for anyone who has to work on their code base.

Why not delete and recreate your account?

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#173

Post by xiphias2 » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:23 PM UTC

hnbad wrote: post #23

xiphias2 wrote: post #3

Just call credit card center for a refund and get a burner number…not a big deal. Regarding banks: get some Bitcoin just in case, as it can be much worse when banks ban you.

If you have to worry about banks banning you, you maybe shouldn't be in a position where you need to take financial advice from HN comments and you're likely better off with cash than an unstable asset that you can't easily eliminate without involving a bank.

All you need is an anonymous call to the police in the US to SWAT your house and get all money from your bank account taken away temporarily. There are multiple people who said that the only reason they didn't need to ask money from friends for lawyers is that they had some Bitcoin. It's all about preparing for worst case scenarios in your life, just like wearing a seatbelt.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#174

Post by guerrilla » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:24 PM UTC

vmception wrote: post #148

alias_neo wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've never done online dating, met my wife the old-fashioned way, but, it sounds like you're saying the network is making the choice of who should be matched/together, before they get the chance to decide for themselves? If that's true, how anyone thinks that isn't totally fucked is beyond me. I mean, I'm seriously, deeply concerned by this notion more than the usual privacy, data etc that big tech concerns me with,…

Yes, absolutely. But its even worse, its a crowdsourced eugenics program that the crowd doesn't know they are contributing to and I believe they would not consent to if they knew or had the choice (aside from not using the app at all). Basically your selection (match, don't match) isn't just a personal choice. It alters the other person's desirability based on your current desirability. Its a weighted choice that aff…

> Knowing that some derivative of this is employed allows you to game it

How?

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#175

Post by xiphias2 » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:25 PM UTC

tommcshwa wrote: post #81

xiphias2 wrote: post #3

Just call credit card center for a refund and get a burner number…not a big deal. Regarding banks: get some Bitcoin just in case, as it can be much worse when banks ban you.

Sure, I would love to buy grocery with bitcoin.... What a joke.

Not grocery, but lawyer in the cas you want to get access to your money. Have you read about the process that happens when your house is SWAT-ted using an anonymous phone call?

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#176

Post by watwut » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:26 PM UTC

jonnybgood wrote: post #135

wayoutthere wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a woman, Tinder is fine if you wanna find a fuck buddy and don’t take it seriously. I see a lot of people (men and women) get wrapped up in the swipe game and that’s really not how it works. You can’t take anything that happens on that platform personally. Unfortunately, rule #1 on tinder is “be physically attractive”. If you want tinder to work for you consistently as a man, get your personal hygiene in order and…

Why is that rule unfortunate? Why would someone date or hookup with someone they're not physically attracted to?

I guess because in real life, even if you dont look super attractive, you can still charm partners by the way you talk and act. You can be funny, come across as trustworthy etc.

You can not do that on tinder.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#177

Post by hansel_der » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:27 PM UTC

hetspookjee wrote: post #34

Given the constant commodization of data science, I wonder how long it will take till there is a dating app that really knows you well, while keeping privacy in tact. And matches people with the goal to actually match properly. Tinder, and every dating app I know out there, is directly incentivized to _not_ match properly, but rather to keep you on the app as long as possible. As long as the bottom line is directly i…

yea, the incentive structure makes most current dating services very antisocial.

i have heard that traditional matchmakers get paid years after the first date, maybe even after a marriage.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#178

Post by ravenstine » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:27 PM UTC

KptMarchewa wrote: post #79

mazugrin2 wrote: post #52

Maybe don't refer to women as "girls"? Unless you are seeking romance with girls. Either way, I'm suspicious already and can see why a service intended to match adults with other adults (i.e., not girls) would be creeped out by you.

Have you heard of "cultural differences"? Author is from Kiev. Now, I'm not Ukrainian, but in Polish refering to "women" as "dziewczyna" not "kobieta" in romantic setting would not be any weird.

That's not particularly unique to Ukrainian culture by any stretch of the imagination. Popular global culture, particularly western culture, typically shares that canard.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#179

Post by canadaduane » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:27 PM UTC

bigwheeler wrote: post #129

I just lost my IG account after having it for literally a decade. Short story: I thought my engagement was low, so I manually went through my not-very-large follower list (2400 or so) in the IG app, identified about 100 accounts that I thought were bots (accounts that were following 6000+ people), and then went to each one and removed them as a follower. I made it about 40 in when suddenly I got meaningless errors, l…

I was banned for trying to create a 2nd account for my business.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#180

Post by sebastianconcpt » Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 3:28 PM UTC

sebastianconcpt wrote: post #137

polote wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> rule #1 on tinder is “be physically attractive” For guys it used to be right, now rule #1 is more "be super attractive" or "be attractive and don't have standard" For girls rule #1 is "be a girl"

[flagged]

It's funny how raw red pill truths get downvoted here. Some seem to prefer to send technical brutal honesty about the current state of sexual market under the rug.