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Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#171

Post by kmclean »

Karawebnetwork wrote: post #147
dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

> Why do women have to emulate men to be valuable? Why do we assume that those behaviors are inherently a man's? Women that have a drive to become business leaders do so for personal reasons and not to emulate anyone (except perhaps personal heroes who could happen to be women). You later speak about a wish to become a stay-at-home father. Is this emulating women or is it a wish based on activities that are not inher…

This! Women who get into business or tech or whatever aren't "emulating men". Many are actually genuinely interested in those pursuits. A lot of women just do not want to be homemakers. Many do, sure, and it should be a viable option without stigma, but for at least half it would be hell and we should allow women to pursue their interests and desires.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#172

Post by [deleted] »

rcpt wrote: post #129
dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

In other nations where the state provides good childcare women have historically entered the workforce just fine. It's the US (and especially California) that drains everything possible from young families.

[deleted]

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#173

Post by Karawebnetwork »

dcow wrote: post #162
Karawebnetwork wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Why do women have to emulate men to be valuable? Why do we assume that those behaviors are inherently a man's? Women that have a drive to become business leaders do so for personal reasons and not to emulate anyone (except perhaps personal heroes who could happen to be women). You later speak about a wish to become a stay-at-home father. Is this emulating women or is it a wish based on activities that are not inher…

My point is not that these behaviors are inherently those of a man. It’s that success should be defined much more broadly than “things men traditionally do”. I think we are in agreement on that I may have not done the best job at capturing the point.

But is being a start-up founder really something that men traditionally do or is it a completely new role that people of all genders can aim for?

This role can be toxic and lead to problematic behaviours that can worsen a person's personal life and mental health, regardless of their gender identity.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#175

Post by mathgladiator »

fastball wrote: post #20
asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For highly skilled technical people and business leaders, we already do live in that society. There are many companies that will happily pay you entirely unreasonable amounts of money to work a 9-5 job. However, you can opt in to lifestyles where you work yourself to death in the hopes of getting even more excessive riches and fame than you would get by living a more relaxed lifestyle.

I don't want fame or riches. I just want to build something nobody else has built.

I respect the honesty, and I am there with you. I think inventing something new is exceptionally harder because the burden of communication is exceptional.

I have spent a decade within large scale infrastructure, so I have climbed the shoulders of giants to see what can be. Once you see what can be, then there is the burden to communicate what you see. It's not easy, and you learn deep respect for all the previous innovations because they required exceptional communications.

Here I am, an aging man, and I've invented my thing. It's a programming language for board games that lets you build durable compute. You don't have to worry about failures at all. The machine can live forever! It's great, but I have to communicate and prove its value.

I intend to retire and tinker on it for a decade:

http://www.adama-lang.org/docs/what-the-living-document

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#176

Post by wayoutthere »

dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

Fixing this would require raising wages to the point where a single income can support a family. Until that’s the case, both parents have to work unless you’re wealthy (not a high earner; actually wealthy). I would just ask yourself who in society benefits from this situation and who loses. It doesn’t have to be this way, but we keep electing politicians who promise to keep it this way (on both sides of the aisle).

If the US had a viable left it would be different; but we don’t. Other countries have solved these problems to some degree. We need to stop acting like taking care of people and funding social programs is the next step to Stalinism (but again, think of who is saying this and how it threatens their power).

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#177

Post by everdrive »

vmception wrote: post #140
dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

> Being a mother without a snazzy career is frowned upon by plenty of people these days. I don't think that stigma is healthy. Why do women have to emulate men to be valuable? I used to think that, but then I found out that many people aren't trying to emulate men, they are trying to do a more encompassing thing, juggling an unprecedented number of roles and responsibilities surpassing what has been human in nature.…

>is not an optional checkbox of pride for men that want to exchange time for food and shelter and have a female partner

This is something that crosses my mind often. Work has some perks, but I would NEVER have taken a career so seriously if I never wanted to get married.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#178

Post by u678u »

Its interesting I had a friend who got pregnant at University. I thought it would be ruinous to their career but maybe its a better solution. When she was 40 her child was already an adult and she could fully concentrate on working.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#180

Post by dcow »

elliekelly wrote: post #150
dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

> I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is fr…

100% agree that any stigma against being a stay at home dad (viewing the issue from the opposite angle as you ask) is also unhealthy. In my personal journey, at least, I have not encountered men who stigmatize my desire to be a stay at home dad but I have (surprisingly often) encountered women who stigmatize female homemakers (or the concept thereof). I guess it’s only anecdata there, but I don't think I’m wildly off base with my experience.
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