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Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

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171–179 of 179 posts

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#171
post #165

I've been exploring pretty much the same questions for the last few years. The first couple years felt distressing because I didn't feel like I was making progress quickly enough and I had way more questions than answers. Lately, I feel more positive about the direction of travel, and I've made peace with this being a slow, difficult journey. Seems like it should be "easy", but it's really not. Accepting that and not…

I'm thinking AI...

Sounds like a great space to dive into. Plenty of depth so you won't run out of interesting things to learn and there are lots of ways AI can help others.

If climate's your thing, you can check out https://www.climatechange.ai/. I'd bet similar communities exist around other areas for social good too. Good luck :)

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#172
post #105

Dostoevsky, Steinbeck, Shakespeare, and The Bible all have very thoughtful takes on these kind of questions. And that's just a start. I've been in your situation before, and immersing myself in great works of art was probably the most useful thing I did.

I admit I definitely need to do some more reading of those authors. Anything, in particular, you'd suggest to get me started?

You might want to read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. Small novel(~150pages) but very relevant to your question.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#173

When you reach the top of the mountain, the only Zen you will find is the Zen you brought with you. Meaning: you must find fulfillment within yourself and not in outside things or accomplishments.

Any tips on how to get started on this?

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#174

I was once in a similar situation: I felt full but empty at the same time. I was very content with my life but I knew something was missing and I had no idea what it was. Some people have suggested to spend time ‘giving back’. But why? There is no real objective reason to be altruistic. It seemed to me that it was all meaningless. The very foundations of morals and ethics became weak. I hated this perspective and tri…

> There is no real objective reason to be altruistic.

> stronger belief in God

This is a bit conflicting, no?

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#176
post #144
post #143

Have you implemented what you wanted or what you thought you wanted but society told you was "good". Sometimes in life its nice to have a bit of nihilism and purposefully let stuff go or be imperfect. If nothing else work you could also try ayahuasca, lsd, or simply MDMA.

I would suggest seeing a therapist before self-medicating.

therapists are usually people who had psychological problems during their studies and though precisely they could self medicate by doing said studies. most are insane and can't help anyone

I recommend, instead, surrounding yourself with healthy people.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#177

I was once in a similar situation: I felt full but empty at the same time. I was very content with my life but I knew something was missing and I had no idea what it was. Some people have suggested to spend time ‘giving back’. But why? There is no real objective reason to be altruistic. It seemed to me that it was all meaningless. The very foundations of morals and ethics became weak. I hated this perspective and tri…

> There is no real objective reason to be altruistic. > stronger belief in God This is a bit conflicting, no?

I meant that without belief in God, there is no real objective rational reason to be altruistic.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#178

When you reach the top of the mountain, the only Zen you will find is the Zen you brought with you. Meaning: you must find fulfillment within yourself and not in outside things or accomplishments.

Any tips on how to get started on this?

Not really. I think one reason koans are general and kind of vague is that everyone's specifics are different and advice that works for some people may not work for everyone and may be exactly wrong for some.

Once, my then girlfriend was telling me that she was having trouble at work and always felt bad asking people for help. I gave her advice that had really helped me - which was to not worry about it and ask, ask, ask for help! It's the most efficient way, and all that.

My natural inclination is to never ask for help and figure it out myself. That can wind up taking me ten times as long to figure stuff out, so for me, really pushing to ask for help balances my natural tendencies and, if I try to ask for what seems like lots and lots of help, it'll wind up being about right.

My then girlfriend, on the other hand, was already inclined to ask for help. She was rightly worried that she was annoying other people and asking for too much help and I, though well meaning, gave her exactly the wrong advice and pushed her to keep doing exactly the wrong thing. The advice she needed was the exact opposite of what I needed. This is a specific example of how you can't really give advice to people without understanding them and their problems.

To go back to koans (which I quite like) - if you meet the Buddha, kill him. Meaning: you can't listen to other people to find enlightenment, it has to come from within you. Other people cannot tell you what you need to know, only you can do that.

And, of course, I'm not an enlightened guru living a perfect life or anything. I try my best. I think about problems and take steps to solve them.

Re: Ask HN: I implemented the life I designed: perfect but I feel lost. What now?

#179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There is no real objective reason to be altruistic. > stronger belief in God This is a bit conflicting, no?

I meant that without belief in God, there is no real objective rational reason to be altruistic.

Evolution has built altruistic behavior in many animal species. Just recently I read about some single celled species where in extreme circumstances, a few of cells self-scarfice so that rest can survive.
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