Live data from Hacker News

A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

keyvalues.com

171–175 of 175 posts

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#171

I was raised by my grandparents. They were born in the 1910s, and grew up in the midwest during the dust bowl and great depression. My grandfather lost most of his buddies in Guadalcanal and Burma during World War II, and, in his own words, fully expected to become worm food himself. He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every da…

> He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every day, every year, every one of the six decades past 1944 was a cherry on top gift. My father, B-17 navigator, said he accepted that he was going to die in combat. The odds at the time of surviving were terrible (about 80% casualties). He did survive (hence my existence), and told me th…

>"Any day you're breathing is a good day."

My father was a healthy, fit, active guy who suffered from a bit of acid reflux which turned into esophageal cancer which claimed his life at 46. I was in my early twenties and just starting my career when that happened. I'm 44 now, and that experience has shaped my approach to life and it's been both a good and bad thing. On one hand, it's made me live more in the now and not for a distant future. On the other hand, I experience guilt when I don't take advantage of every day I have.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#172
post #20

When I step back and look at my life, I have to say it is pretty good. I get agitated when I lose perspective and magnify some particular bad thing. Also, as a Christian, this gives me the ultimate relief, because I can step back and say whatever unimaginably horrible thing is happening God is ultimately in control orchestrating things for maximal good, of which maximal good is also at some fundamental level in line…

> And if God doesn't exist, then nothing matters anyways, so why worry? I'm not trying to start a pointless debate, your comment really made me curious. Let's imagine the Christian god doesnt't exist. How does that logically lead to nothing mattering? As a lifelong atheist there are plenty of things that matter to me: the well-being of people (particularly those around me), peace, justice, climate change, etc. Are th…

Things that matter to you, as with anything else, do not matter by themselves.

Things are. Their value is determined by a mind. Only God's mind can determine the value of a thing. Whether God exists or not, the statement stands.

Because, we do not know all the consequences an action but God knows. By your own set of values, by some twist of fate, what you are doing could be counter-productive.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll add that he said there's the "I've been shot at" club in the military that nobody realizes exists until they join it. Essentially, being shot at changes you.

> Essentially, being shot at changes you. Agreed. Assuming you're someone who is in this club, may I ask: do you think there's a material difference between being shot at in a military sense (for both, say, proper battles as well as what our people were subject to in Iraq, 2003 and later) and being shot at in the city sense (random drive-bys, verbal altercations turning into gunfire) ? Thanks for your consideration.

> Assuming you're someone who is in this club

I'm not, hence I'm not fit to answer your question. I've been robbed at gunpoint, but the thief wasn't trying to kill me. It does still set my teeth on edge when someone comes up behind me.

When people would greet my dad with "hey, how are you doing?" he'd often reply "shot at and missed".

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder if it took 30+ years because your young adult brain was geared toward perceiving 'carrots and sticks'.

How would a young adult go about breaking this perception?

I don't know, and I'm not sure it's a good idea. I think it's a feature, not a bug, though it has very clear downsides, which you can take steps to ameliorate. Talking of steps:

Walking and talking are pretty ancient ways of taking stock and finding new perspectives. Talk to people outside your usual age range and social class. Get out into nature. These things usually help in ways I can't explain very well, but I find them vital to sustainably integrating who I am in here with where I am in the world. In my experience, major health crises of the mental kind tend to be down to this.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#175
post #130
post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've learned the most about life from "character building experiences". They are usually unpleasant. They could be as simple as somone telling you not to be stupid, or as complicated as finding lessons out the hard way. The experiences give you the resolve or clues or whatever to avoid bad choices, or appreciate good ones. Or help others understand (if they're receptive).

It could! And it can also fuck you up for life. My grandfather was a teenager during WW2. He was a Polish Jew and lucky to have seen the writing on the wall and fled eastwards when the Nazis invaded (almost the entire rest of his large family died in the holocaust - his only living relative was his brother, who died as a soldier in 1948 in the Israeli war of independence). He had a horrible time during the war but ev…

I'm sorry to hear this story. Maybe the idea is to temper the character, maybe test it but not break it.
Post reply on HN