I would like to think you are right, and I agree to a point. Engagements like Crimea and Georgia played out as they did because a much larger foe essentially bullied a smaller country and took what it wanted but stopped just short of making the smaller country think it was fighting for its life. The smaller country knows it cannot win so it must swallow its pride and take the loss, to go all in on a less that total invasion would be suicide against Russia. If you look at the situation in Yemen you can see the end game of a much more powerful country going close to all in against a much weaker foe (and Saudi Arabia is holding back). Mass starvation, woman and children dying for the simple reason that Saudi Arabia has blockaded the delivery of food. The world just sits and watches, occasionally sending a stern tweet. Look at what the US did to Iraq, ~250,000+ dead to date. Whenever it is a superpower pitted against a smaller nation it will likely play out as you say, but we are still talking of suffering on a massive scale.
China operates on decades long plans, is it possible that if they thought that securing the entire South China sea was worth it in the long run that they would be willing to go to war over it? I see nothing that makes me thing they would not be willing to decimate Vietnam and the Philippines to do so. Would the united states be willing to go to war against China for the benefits of Vietnam or the Philippines. They have forced a million Uighur's into camps and we shrug so probably not. That would change if China went after Japan. What if the current trade war escalated to the point it was causing serious harm to China's economy, would they go to war?
A war with China would potentially be a war to end all wars (again), especially if it pulled in Russia, Japan and others. Furthermore, the victor of a war between China and the United states would lay claim to being known as the dominant power on earth, able to enforce its will to greatly enhance its economy in much the same way the US did after WW II. If China thought it could win, they would be able to essentially force their way of life on vast sections of the world. It also allows the victor to claim the moon and mars in the long term, a massive advantage in the next few decades.
We unfortunately live in a very precarious world that most of us on this site don't have to see the worst of due to the simple act of winning a geographic birth lottery.