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Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

theguardian.com

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Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#171

Post by hkmurakami »

blowski wrote: post #39

Personally, going to Church has helped me suffer less with loneliness. I've made meaningful friendships, and relationships with people from all sorts of backgrounds. It has given more meaning to my life than anything I found at work, or by random socialising. Of course, YMMV. Please take this as a random anecdote, not as evangelism.

I came to this thread to write something along these lines of "have a place to go to". This can be beside club, swim club, the Parisian cafe, etc. Church certainly qualifies as well.

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#172

Post by naeem »

battlebooth wrote: post #75
estebancastano wrote: post #11

For the past year, I've been working on the social isolation problem. Here's the idea we're currently developing. Would love to hear folks' feedback. Would you be excited about using this? "A social app, like Tinder but for hangouts with friends. See what your friends want to do, and swipe right to show you’re interested. You can also join hangouts in the global feed to instantly expand your social circle. Hangouts a…

Great idea, I'd do it somewhat like this if i had a large enough team: features needed to be successful: --STack overflow/HN/Reddit style Rep or magical internet points: These things are important, look how compelling they are for people to go out of their way to do things.... If you can tap into this so people go out of their way... to leave their house and socialize. even if its superficial for internet points, its…

Reading this is like watching a robot try to mimic human interaction

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#173

Post by watwut »

colechristensen wrote: post #157
watwut wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Harassing someone whose existence is necessary for you all to eat tomorrow or to avoid getting eaten by wild animals is going to be quite a different situation." Then again, harassing someone who depends on you is entirely different. Then again, bullying someone so that you ensure pecking order and he does what you want and is beneficial for you a bit more in situation with scarcity is different too. Suburban middle…

I'm talking about primitive human hunter-gatherer society, you're talking about your grandparents.

"small groups of mostly related people" still bully and harass each other which is case of grandparents childhood. Why would hunter-gatherers not? Especially since victim leaving his group makes him vulnerable to all those other tribes that would "tried to kill" you (plus your old)?

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#174

Post by unabst »

bbctol wrote: post #78
unabst wrote: post #37

We're paying the price for the proliferation of existentialism, and it's flavor of capitalism and justice. "You're on your own" is good when reaping rewards and thriving in a meritocracy, but not when you need help, are losing, or just want warmth. But a healthy dose of loneliness is what has us reaching for each other. So we should all just give in, and reach for each other. Natural feeling tend to take care of them…

How are you defining "existentialism" here?

"I think therefore I am." The essence that precedes the thought. "Our actions are the outcome of our being."

The notion that success is reserved for the deserving, and criminals are devils that require punishment. That there are good and bad people; good do good, and bad do bad. All we need to do is sort them. And that all depends on our individual essence, our free will.

Everything good pre-exists and we shall be the judge.

As opposed to,

"There are no actors, only actions" and "We are the sum of our actions."

"I think therefore I'm thinking."

"I committed a crime, got caught, and that is why I'm in jail."

"I witnessed his birth, I changed his diapers, I taught him how to walk, and he follows me around. He must be my son."

I actually don't have the name for the latter philosophy. I really wish I knew. It's along the lines of Nietzsche and Aristotle, but I can't say they put their finger on it. Any pointers welcome.

It also holds the key:

"I'm lonely. And that's the only reason I need you by my side."

That's all we need.

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#175

Post by wklauss »

gaius wrote: post #56
wklauss wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Is it not possible for the modern man to accept the drawbacks of modern life, including loneliness, just as stoically as the primitive man was accepting adversity and death? Primitive men weren't stoic. We attribute that quality to them because we now understand how common diseases work and why they were so prominent in that time. That understanding -part of the advantages of modern life- has forever changed our pe…

For primitive men, life was probably terrifying and a constant struggle Yes, but the Stoics weren't "primitive" really. I may be getting the timeline mixed up slightly but they were part of a civilisation that invented steam engines but never bothered to develop them because they had slavery to provide manual labour! They are far closer to us than they were to cavemen in every meaningful way. Update: Epictetus died i…

> Yes, but the Stoics weren't "primitive" really

They weren't that many either. Most of their greek / roman peers were still in the dark about common ailments and diseases, and resorted to all kinds of superstitions to treat them and fight them.

What I'm getting at is that this view of the primitive man as a stoic figure in tune with nature is severely distorted by our current worldview and knowledge. There was nothing "stoic" about the majority of them lived their lives.

More broadly, I'm trying to make the point that Kaczynski was a nutcase with a severe misconception of the human condition.

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#176

Post by doug1001 »

ficklepickle wrote: post #132
doug1001 wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

thanks for sharing; i was a (catholic) boarding school lad from age 6 until university deeply envious envious of the place you've chose to live where i've had so many excellent days out (snowdonia mostly)--bunk at pen-y-pass YHA, snowdon horseshoe, glyders traverse, etc), then finish each day with a litre mug of tea at Pete's in Llanberis

So weird seeing Pete's eats mentioned here. One of my best friends lives in Llanberis. I once got taken up Crib Goch completely unprepared, thinking I was going on a leisurely walk. I was not impressed.

you were not impressed at the time, but now that you've done it (Crib Goch) you have only fond memories of the experience and look forward to having another go some day, i'm guessing? :-)

is Pete's still there? I haven't been to Llanberis in maybe 5 years; it would be depressing to find it closed (and eg, a mini-Marks & Spencers in its place) on my next trip

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#177

Post by bbctol »

unabst wrote: post #174
bbctol wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How are you defining "existentialism" here?

"I think therefore I am." The essence that precedes the thought. "Our actions are the outcome of our being." The notion that success is reserved for the deserving, and criminals are devils that require punishment. That there are good and bad people; good do good, and bad do bad. All we need to do is sort them. And that all depends on our individual essence, our free will. Everything good pre-exists and we shall be th…

The latter philosophy is called, uh, existentialism, so I'm not sure quite what happened here.

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#178

Post by battlebooth »

naeem wrote: post #172
battlebooth wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great idea, I'd do it somewhat like this if i had a large enough team: features needed to be successful: --STack overflow/HN/Reddit style Rep or magical internet points: These things are important, look how compelling they are for people to go out of their way to do things.... If you can tap into this so people go out of their way... to leave their house and socialize. even if its superficial for internet points, its…

Reading this is like watching a robot try to mimic human interaction

well it is an app after all trying to do that haha!

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#179

Post by battlebooth »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #146
battlebooth wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great idea, I'd do it somewhat like this if i had a large enough team: features needed to be successful: --STack overflow/HN/Reddit style Rep or magical internet points: These things are important, look how compelling they are for people to go out of their way to do things.... If you can tap into this so people go out of their way... to leave their house and socialize. even if its superficial for internet points, its…

Wow, you've listed three things I absolutely hate. Perhaps I'm simply not cut out for human interaction.

which of them do you hate? I think the point of the game modes would be to cater to different peoples unique approaches to life. not everyone has the same perceptions/tastes.

Re: Modern life is lonely – We all need someone to help

#180

Post by AnIdiotOnTheNet »

battlebooth wrote: post #179
AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow, you've listed three things I absolutely hate. Perhaps I'm simply not cut out for human interaction.

which of them do you hate? I think the point of the game modes would be to cater to different peoples unique approaches to life. not everyone has the same perceptions/tastes.

Fake internet points, meaningless rewards, and cosmetic bullshit.

I think gamification of socialization in general is part of the reason all social media sucks.

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