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I'm a creep. I'm sorry

500hats.com

171–180 of 453 posts

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#171
post #108
post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Women have the right to go out for drinks with coworkers without being sexually harassed. Yes but you have to understand that we humans have a incredible high drive to reproduce, and many successful couples forms in the work environment. I have a child with a coworker. Sexual approaches do happen in those kinds of environments but there are a big difference between approaching someone and sexually harassment. Moder…

Dangerous ground. I would expect contra in form of "mansplaining" or "justification of harassment". I came to the conclusion that the topic has become too toxic to be discussed seriously. Especially based on a actual case. I just hope this electrified field will return to a base where everybody can talk seriously about it. With the aim being a solution that is appropriate to what we are as humans not as man or woman…

I would suggest you take steps to strengthen your relationships with the women in your life, so that you can discuss these things with them and they'll know you're genuine in asking about what is appropriate, etc.

I can think of several women I would have zero problem discussing this stuff with, just because they know I'm not out to stir shit up or play devil's advocate. There's trust there to begin with, so there's openness, etc.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#172
post #9

I was pretty critical on here just yesterday about Dave McClure. I'd never met him in person but felt like his behavior was unlike the guy I felt I knew from his writings and interviews. This is heads above the apologies from Justin Caldbeck and Sacca though I wished he'd written it months ago, back when the changes at 500 Startups were first made. It's a good start, but only the beginning.

[deleted]

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#173

Caveat, McClure's behavior was bad. But seeing recent public floggings for misbehavior I now wonder if people are feeling a bit hypersensitive/cautious about any workplace conduct that could potentially be perceived as harassment. Case in point. You work at a technology company. You are attracted to another coworker, who is NOT your subordinate. Is there some manner in which it is acceptable to express your interest?…

I think there are many polite ways of expressing interest, just like you would express interest in any other social setting. I don't think that's inappropriate at all - for example to politely ask out for a coffee, obviously not at the workplace, but somewhere outside. However, in the light of recent activities, I would be quite cautious of any such moves, inherently. The last thing you want is for your actions to be misinterpreted.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#174
post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> when is an appropriate time for a college professor (that works long hours!) to ask a student out on a date? A student generally or one of his students? There is a difference. And not too long ago a professor dating a student that he/she didn't have power over was not that uncommon.

> And not too long ago a professor dating a student that he/she didn't have power over was not that uncommon. There are a lot of things that are not uncommon, but are still totally inappropriate.

What's inappropriate is for a third party to decide when and when not two adults can have a private relationship.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#176
post #80
post #24

Is it just me, or is committing public seppuku like this really necessary? If what he did was illegal, he should face prosecution. If he's compelled to apologize and admit his guilt, he should reach out to the people he actually wronged. This kind of public self-flagellation ("I'm such a creep. Please forgive me, world.") feels really over the top, phony, and symbolic.

Come on. All these guys who claim they are so smart and well rounded now all of a sudden are doing "I'm Sorry" posts as if they didn't know. WTF - of course they all were aware. Its easy acting all matter of fact and smart with everything else and then "I'm Sorry". Refer them to a public prosecutor because examples are needed for this to stop. We need some examples to be made.

This post is a perfect example of what I've mentioned elsewhere.

If you ever find yourself in this person's shoes (innocent or guilty) you have nothing to gain by this sort of public display of remorse/sepukku as others have called it.

This type of angry, vitriolic, hate-filled-person will condemn you no matter if your apologies are sincere or not. The only logical move is to deny, people like the poster above will never believe you anyways but they're unwinable anyways.

As long as leftism rules the cultural zeitgeist apologizing for bad behavior will never be enough to matter.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#177

Caveat, McClure's behavior was bad. But seeing recent public floggings for misbehavior I now wonder if people are feeling a bit hypersensitive/cautious about any workplace conduct that could potentially be perceived as harassment. Case in point. You work at a technology company. You are attracted to another coworker, who is NOT your subordinate. Is there some manner in which it is acceptable to express your interest?…

I think asking coworkers out is a huge no-no. If the only people in your orbit you feel you can connect with that way are at work, that's a sign your personal life needs some development. However, let's say you have a robust personal life, and you just have this absolutely amazing co-worker, who totally is not your subordinate, and ideally you don't even work directly with, and you want to ask them out... again.. I d…

That really depends. At my current startup there are three " couples".

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#178

Caveat, McClure's behavior was bad. But seeing recent public floggings for misbehavior I now wonder if people are feeling a bit hypersensitive/cautious about any workplace conduct that could potentially be perceived as harassment. Case in point. You work at a technology company. You are attracted to another coworker, who is NOT your subordinate. Is there some manner in which it is acceptable to express your interest?…

Here is an idea for a start-up. Go to the site. Enter the email of your interest at work. They receive an email saying "someone is interested in you at work". They come to the site and enter the emails of anyone at work that they are interested in [1]. If there is a match -> reveal. If not -> email the others at work that "someone is interested in you at work."

[1] Also, please let them opt out of any more messages.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#179

Caveat, McClure's behavior was bad. But seeing recent public floggings for misbehavior I now wonder if people are feeling a bit hypersensitive/cautious about any workplace conduct that could potentially be perceived as harassment. Case in point. You work at a technology company. You are attracted to another coworker, who is NOT your subordinate. Is there some manner in which it is acceptable to express your interest?…

I think asking coworkers out is a huge no-no. If the only people in your orbit you feel you can connect with that way are at work, that's a sign your personal life needs some development. However, let's say you have a robust personal life, and you just have this absolutely amazing co-worker, who totally is not your subordinate, and ideally you don't even work directly with, and you want to ask them out... again.. I d…

'Asking out co-workers is a huge no-no' - to me this feels almost anti-humanist to the point where business is truly more important than our own lives, our being, our existence and our own free will. There is a massive difference between asking out co-workers and sexual harassment.
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