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FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving users, sharing personal data

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Re: FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving users, sharing personal data

#161

Post by yowayb »

nodesocket wrote: post #130
yowayb wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In 2013, I went to Pebble Beach for an expensive car show. I met a couple guys that started newlydivorceddating.com. They told me they purchased thousands of fake starter profiles, so the site wouldn't seem dead. Tangent: I was a "pickup artist" (2005-2010). Most of it is creepy bullshit, but the process teaches you a powerful aspect of hookup-style dating (as opposed to courting for a long-term relationship): guys n…

very interesting. I bought The Game 10+ years ago and read 3/4 of it. I just can’t get myself to do tactics like magic, negging, and psych-ops. Though, I will confirm it works. Seen with my own eyes many times in disbelief. Couldn’t believe women fall for what seem like such corny and ridiculous behavior. I do think women are much more socially focused, tend to follow (sheep behavior) and in a miraculous turn of even…

Yes "the game" is actually impossibly complex for any book to capture, and I agree much tech has made it more challenging in many ways. I do have to recognize that quite a few of my friends found their wives online.

That said, I think finding a wife in countries that tend more traditional is a great approach.

I've seen it work over and over. In one striking case, there was also very high mutual appreciation, from the guy for her traditional qualities, and from the girl for his pragmatism and diligence.

Re: FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving users, sharing personal data

#162

Post by yowayb »

magicalhippo wrote: post #138
nodesocket wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

very interesting. I bought The Game 10+ years ago and read 3/4 of it. I just can’t get myself to do tactics like magic, negging, and psych-ops. Though, I will confirm it works. Seen with my own eyes many times in disbelief. Couldn’t believe women fall for what seem like such corny and ridiculous behavior. I do think women are much more socially focused, tend to follow (sheep behavior) and in a miraculous turn of even…

> if you ignore them, or don’t show interest they want what they can’t have A girl I knew told me it wasn't any fun when the guy would just do whatever to please her. She found it boring and uninteresting. Rather she enjoyed the chase, so to speak, and said she wanted to work for it. I assume there's some variance, but I kept that in the back of my mind.

Sorry I didn't mention maturity matters. "The game" is truly complex, so 2 more things:

First, nearly every western girl goes thru a "hoe" phase. This is when they're figuring themselves out. And we go thru this phase too obviously, but we still have this double-standard nonsense which blinds us to what a woman really is, so I have to call it out.

Second, you have to be cool with this. This is the importance of rejection experience. You need to go thru it, know that you're alright, and that calm goes sooo far in getting you laid/married.

Everyone makes mistakes. It doesn't help if you're visibly uncomfortable because of a mistake she made a while back. To be clear, the mistake I speak of is sleeping with shitty guys during her learning phase ("the chase").

But I like The Game and the whole pickup artist thing because it breaks down the mechanics in a way that I think is more accessible to "nerds".

The bar/nightclub excursions compress social dynamics from weeks/months to hours. It's very instructive for dating and business/job-hunting.

But the endgame is even more important. I know of at least 5 couples that started off playing the game around each other, and later married. Attractive people, just too busy banging all the other attractive friends (yea, San Francisco lol).

This is just one expression among the vicissitudes of social expression, but don't forget the fact it is also very much a numbers game (when zoomed out far enough).

Re: FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving users, sharing personal data

#163

Post by crazygringo »

chaps wrote: post #153
crazygringo wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You realize I was responding to a comment that wasn't about that? A company running NLP on its own user data doesn't have anything to do with third parties.

> I don't think there was anything fucked up about it, as long as it was all anonymized and at scale I'm confused why "as long as" carries so much weight here considering the article that started this discussion. You seem to trust that they stopped their privacy fuckups with third parties. I don't know where your trust comes from.

I'm saying that NLP over messages, and sharing with third parties, are completely orthogonal. It's not about trust, it's two different topics. The different topic was started by the original commenter. Because people often make comments on HN that are related but separate. As NLP and third-party sharing are.

Re: FTC action against Match and OkCupid for deceiving users, sharing personal data

#166

Post by chaps »

crazygringo wrote: post #163
chaps wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't think there was anything fucked up about it, as long as it was all anonymized and at scale I'm confused why "as long as" carries so much weight here considering the article that started this discussion. You seem to trust that they stopped their privacy fuckups with third parties. I don't know where your trust comes from.

I'm saying that NLP over messages, and sharing with third parties, are completely orthogonal. It's not about trust, it's two different topics. The different topic was started by the original commenter. Because people often make comments on HN that are related but separate. As NLP and third-party sharing are.

You're missing my point again.

My privacy problem exists with third parties AND internally within OkCupid. At some point, running NLP over messages necessitates that an analyst or ops person actually has to look at the underlying data at some point.

The 3rd party stuff just exudes something like a privacy "code smell" -- "orthogonality" doesn't really matter to my point because 1. these things don't exist in a vacuum and 2. stench has a way of permeating through layers, regardless of how orthogonal underwear is.

Like, do you trust that OKCupid staff didn't download user messages to their laptops?

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