The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café • Hacker News Board

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#161

Post by zwnow » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:35 PM UTC

johnnyanmac wrote: post #154

zwnow wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have 500€ in my bank account, 3k debt and 30 years of work left ahead of me and I take a lot of idle time in cafes or trains or the park. I don't see the issue. The sooner one realizes that working hard isn't the key to life the sooner one realizes you'll have plenty more time. If you get something out of working hard, like joy, sure go ahead. But dont lie to yourself and think that working hard will actually ever…

>I take a lot of idle time in cafes or trains or the park. I don't see the issue. Well, it sounds like you're not american. You have trains to use and clean parks, for one. That's nice. >The sooner one realizes that working hard isn't the key to life the sooner one realizes you'll have plenty more time. We're given decreasingly less choices, sadly. Work hard and cheap or be unable to pay rent and be kicked to the str…

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Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#162

Post by nicbou » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:35 PM UTC

Is this a post I'm too European to understand? That writing style is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

I love lingering in cafés. In the summer, I bike from café to café, catching up with my reading and slowly getting to a productive state. I'll do a bit of reading for work, maybe annotate some articles, eventually open my laptop, and if I'm lucky meet friends along the way. I often leave at 9 and come home at around midnight.

If I'm feeling lazy, I just do it on my balcony. Spending the first hour of the day just gathering your thoughts does wonders for your wellbeing. This winter, I created a space for this inside too. I recently got a nice stereo and I put easy listening music on it while I have my morning coffee. No phone, no emails, just me, my thoughts and a warm drink.

When I travel, I do the same. I sketch and make watercolours on the go. I've done this in dozens of countries, and not once have I got the impression that being on your own in a café was odd. What a weird take.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#163

Post by johnnyanmac » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:35 PM UTC

accidentallfact wrote: post #155

Not that I want to be necessarily contrarian, but just a few months ago I decided to stop worrying about using my phone, and it honestly feels like the most liberating decision of my life. There is nothing wrong with it. I think that many people feel like their lives suck in some way that they can't define or explain, and they want something to blame it on, and their phone is an excellent target. It's relatively new.…

>I think that many people feel like their lives suck in some way that they can't define or explain, and they want something to blame it on, and their phone is an excellent target.

They will blame anything but the billionaires.

But to be a devil's advocate: I think most phone issues arise from a child's use of them. They don't have the discipline to put a phone down, and then it enshrines habits that last into adult hood. Gen Z is the testing grounds for such a phenomenon.

Sadly, working adults who need to chat with work, get calls for interviews, schedule and get updates on appointments, and check on family do need to have their phone on the ready. I don't think anyone is condemning the people here. Just the system.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#164

Post by etra0 » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:36 PM UTC

xiande04 wrote: post #158

etra0 wrote: post #156

You have to realize, that some folks were born in the age of super-information and immediacy. When I take a picture, I get the luxury of immediately see what I got. When I wanted to hear some music, I can search it up, and hear an entire album in a question of seconds. It's an incredible privilege to do that, but at the same time, we got so used to speed, that pausing can be new for us. This year I had the opportunit…

How did you get on top of the cafe?

non-native english mistakes and my stubborness to check with any LLMs :)

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#165

Post by johnnyanmac » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:38 PM UTC

zwnow wrote: post #161

johnnyanmac wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I take a lot of idle time in cafes or trains or the park. I don't see the issue. Well, it sounds like you're not american. You have trains to use and clean parks, for one. That's nice. >The sooner one realizes that working hard isn't the key to life the sooner one realizes you'll have plenty more time. We're given decreasingly less choices, sadly. Work hard and cheap or be unable to pay rent and be kicked to the str…

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Fair. But I'll just say that these are issues that have existed for decades. All recent times have done is bring it yo an unignorable fever pitch.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#166

Post by astura » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:38 PM UTC

cm2012 wrote: post #69

unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

>Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

Those of us over 40 have already had plenty of this in our lives, it used to be such a common part of life! Waiting for appointments, waiting for the bus, etc. before smartphones. My first job had two hours between lunch and dinner service. I only had about 15 minutes of work during that time, so it was hour plus of almost entirely idle time every shift.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#167

Post by SapporoChris » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:41 PM UTC

I do not understand the attraction or rather the glorification of going to a Cafe alone.

"It was pure delight. Every element. Or rather, the non-existence of any element. No phone. No headphones. No tablet. No laptop." I believe I can do this anywhere.

They talk about interactions with people in the cafe but it is primarily avoiding interactions.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#168

Post by bovermyer » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:44 PM UTC

ugjjhgvjb wrote: post #85

Tagbert wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It can be at first until you get used to it. You can observe your surroundings, make up stories about what is happening. Ask yourself questions. Listen to yourself. This is a bit like excercise. When you first start, 30 minutes of exercise can be torture as your is out of shape and not used to the effort. Keep doing it and it feels better and you feel better. Work on becoming a source of thoughts rather than a consum…

So… stimulate yourself? > Work on becoming a source of thoughts rather than a consumer of thoughts. This is the classic “sounds deep but actually means nothing” vague statement that’s only meant to massage one’s ego and try to reenforce an unsubstantiated idea in a faux-philosophical way. You are always “sourcing” thoughts even when “consuming”. Being able to sit still, quietly without having to stimulate oneself is,…

In order to avoid all stimulation, there is but one recourse, and it is rather final.

Generally, I prefer just sitting quietly and not worrying about the definition of stimulation or whether I'm doing it correctly.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#169

Post by 2ap » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:45 PM UTC

cm2012 wrote: post #69

unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

Part of my job, is that I design protocols to help young children lie in MRI scanners for a living. We have all sorts of techniques to help with this.

However, for each new scanning protocol, I like to have had it myself - so I know what the children go through. And, at times lying inside a MRI scanner, detached from the world, with only the noise of the scanner (very reduced with our new noise cancelling headphones), is almost meditative, and a welcome escape from the constant connection and pressures of being immediately available at work. Sounds like the writer achieves something similar in the coffee shop.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#170

Post by yumraj » Sun, Jan 04, 2026, 8:45 PM UTC

cm2012 wrote: post #69

unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

Sounds like meditation to me.