Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Becoming the person who does the thing

fredrivett.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

161–170 of 184 posts

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#161

Post by conductr »

nasmorn wrote: post #151
jamestimmins wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's very exciting to hear! I'd be delighted to be wrong about that. Edit: Although, just to clarify, I didn't really mean that I think I won't change as I get older. Moreso that if growing a mustache or getting involved in international diplomacy was going to be in my future, I'd likely have some indication of that by now.

Wrong. I never ran more than 5 times a year until I was 30 and now I have run ultra marathons. It is my spiritual calling and I didn’t know about it until 34. Now I am 44 and probably in the best shape of my life.

I hated manual labor as a kid/young adult, associated it with chores and whatnot, now in my 40s I build homes as a hobby/side gig. I like to be as hands on as possible with it and do about 70% of the work myself on every house. I work a knowledge worker job during the day and need something physical to feel like I’ve accomplished any real which helps my overall fulfillment. Most people think it’s strange, but I do most of the house work between 10pm-3pm. After my job and family duties are complete for the day, I’m somewhat nocturnal and it’s not as hot at night (Texas). I’m usually fine with just the 6 or so hours of sleep but it’s kind of like I have a whole second life at night lol

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#162

Post by isaacremuant »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

Blog posts are branding. A version of them is self help style but there's all kinds. It just sells well.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#163

Post by drivebyhooting »

xyzelement wrote: post #147
kaffekaka wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You have a good point, and I do agree. But at the same time I have been both a person exercising every day and a person not understanding how to find the time for exercise (even after having been the exercising person!). It is remarkable how much our identity can be shaped by contingent circumstances or beliefs. So how to know if one is someone who needs alot of sleep, or someone who just believes there is no time? I…

Identity shapes our commitment. For example, when I was a single guy living in NYC, I'd do sometimes 2 hours of yoga every day because the studio was on my walk home and if I had nothing to do, I'd just go there. So it required relatively little commitment. So I identified as a "yogi" but it didn't take much sacrifice to do it. As a suburban dad of 3, working out requires greater commitment than it did before, and I…

You say committed. I hear sacrifice. What will you sacrifice to do yoga for 2 hours? Most likely the children or wife’s wellbeing.

I used to climb V10. I can’t train like that anymore unless I’m willing to sacrifice something else for it.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#164

Post by sharadov »

conductr wrote: post #161
nasmorn wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wrong. I never ran more than 5 times a year until I was 30 and now I have run ultra marathons. It is my spiritual calling and I didn’t know about it until 34. Now I am 44 and probably in the best shape of my life.

I hated manual labor as a kid/young adult, associated it with chores and whatnot, now in my 40s I build homes as a hobby/side gig. I like to be as hands on as possible with it and do about 70% of the work myself on every house. I work a knowledge worker job during the day and need something physical to feel like I’ve accomplished any real which helps my overall fulfillment. Most people think it’s strange, but I do mo…

Its quite amazing, that you have the energy levels for it.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#165

Post by xyzelement »

drivebyhooting wrote: post #163
xyzelement wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Identity shapes our commitment. For example, when I was a single guy living in NYC, I'd do sometimes 2 hours of yoga every day because the studio was on my walk home and if I had nothing to do, I'd just go there. So it required relatively little commitment. So I identified as a "yogi" but it didn't take much sacrifice to do it. As a suburban dad of 3, working out requires greater commitment than it did before, and I…

You say committed. I hear sacrifice. What will you sacrifice to do yoga for 2 hours? Most likely the children or wife’s wellbeing. I used to climb V10. I can’t train like that anymore unless I’m willing to sacrifice something else for it.

Here's the reality. If I REALLY wanted to make 2 hours for exercise a day, I could: 1. Eliminate all digital distraction, which I am sure adds up to more than an hour every day. 2. Specifically, if I turned off my phone in the evening, I could go to bed at least an hour earlier and thus wake up an hour earlier to work out. 3. I could negotiate an arrangement with my wife that creates an hour for me - I haven't even tried. 4. I could look into hiring a babysitter for an hour a day.

Each of those things is "a sacrifice" of something but on a conscious level I am happy to sacrifice digital distraction or the cost of a babysitter for an hour. The fact that I haven't jumped to do this (but my neighbor, perhaps, has) is what I am talking about.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#166

Post by sharadov »

Aurornis wrote: post #105
huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

> What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? Some of my friends tried going down the influencer path. Some on LinkedIn, one as an Substacker, others on Instagram. Seeing their influencer content in contrast to their personal lives made it abundantly clear that they were using their influencer side as an outlet for their thoughts. As ideas or epiphanies ca…

I am in my late 40s. I went through my own journey. This is not the first generation to do this. The difference being, they did it in private.

Not post every thought and idea as if they've figured out the meaning of life.

And I disagree, you don't need to share your thoughts for validation. Rather, you need to live them. Most roads taken will appear as mistakes, but they have their own teaching moments.

There is nothing better than lived experience.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#167

Post by sharadov »

cl3misch wrote: post #48
huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

Maybe the old farmers and rednecks don't have blogs which you can read online. They might well tell their friends and family!

But wait, how will they get their dopamine kicks in the form of likes.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#168

Post by sharadov »

the_gipsy wrote: post #25
huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

Tech people are good at writing, maybe not like an actual writer or journalist, but we definitely write more than farmers. Tech also evolves very fast, so we probably perceive time differently, and think we "have seen a lot" in less time.

Really, probably the most uncreative writing comes from tech writers.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#169

Post by the_af »

carlosjobim wrote: post #160
the_af wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The implication goes the other way: someone who has done a lot of things and learned many lessons has lived a longer time. Not that people who have lived longer necessarily drew valuable lessons. It's less likely that a 20 year old has done as many things, faced as many challenges, and drawn as many lessons, as someone who doubles them in age. They simply haven't lived long enough to be able to tell if their lessons…

What kind of knowledge can you get from old age that you cannot get from experience?

Didn't I address this in my first paragraph?

How can you get enough experience without living long enough to accrue said experience? How can your perspective on things change if not enough time passed for perspective changes?

To get back to your initial claim:

> Experience and maturity is not very dependent on age.

This is what I disagree with. Experience and maturity are very dependent on age. While some people have a lot of experience and maturity early on, this is rare.

Also, some people don't get wiser with age, but that's a different proposition. I'm not claiming old people are necessarily wise.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#170

Post by vinyl7 »

noisem4ker wrote: post #156
Hunpeter wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A somewhat more depressing take: "There comes a time in everyone's life when you look into the mirror and realize that what you see is all that you'll ever be. And you accept that fact - or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors." (Babylon 5, quoted from memory, so probably not 100% correct) As I'm nearing 30, still in the "I can be anything I want" phase, I wonder when this time will arrive. And whether…

That first "or" coordinate was really uncalled for.

Its true though, unless you can find your purpose in life. Gotta be more to life than transient hits of dopamine
Post reply on HN