Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

161–170 of 440 posts

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#161

Post by chamwislothe2nd »

lolinder wrote: post #140
bmj wrote: post #79

I just turned 50. About 30 people showed up for the party my wife threw for me, and those were exactly the people I wanted to be there. I'm guessing my definition of "party" may be different from yours, but in the last two months, the community we've embedded ourselves in (via our church) has gotten together for my birthday, the darkest night of the year, and New Year's eve. These aren't raucous affairs, but rather 2…

> the community we've embedded ourselves in (via our church) I think you've hit on something important here. Without getting into the merits of religious belief , the rapid increase in loneliness seems to be strongly correlated with the rapid decrease in religiosity. There just aren't any institutions prepared to replace church communities. For my part, I get more than enough socialization through my church community…

What you've got there is legacy wealth and power, obtained by violence no less, using it's wealth and power to build local indoctrination centres that help sustain the legacy. If that wealth and power built MtG play centres or I dunno milk shake shacks, you'd now be lamenting the value that chilling milk has on communities.

Edit: this sounds way more antagonistic than I wanted. I was aiming for cheeky. Happy Friday, fellow beneficiaries of historical violence!

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#162

Post by lizknope »

People get married, have kids, and have elderly parents they need to help.

My friends and I don't have the same amount of time anymore for parties that we had even 15 years ago. Most of the time I see my friends is at lunch and even that was destroyed by covid and work from home.

An older friend of mine died last week and his funeral will sadly be the first time I see the majority of my friends at the same time.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#163

Post by fckgnad »

willtemperley wrote: post #120

I'm 43 and partying a lot on a beach in Thailand. I know many other software engineers and testers here who are doing the same, although the climbing around here (Krabi) does compete with our time. One friend works on corporate software while DJing psytrance on the beach.

This is how you keep the parties going. Get single and travel to a place with a lot of travelers.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#164

Post by danenania »

medellin wrote: post #115

Try moving to South America we have someone having adhoc party at least twice a month just among family and friends

Yep! I just spent a few weeks in my wife's hometown in Argentina. Did as much partying/socializing in that time as I probably do in six months of regular life, even accounting for being out of commission for a bit with the inevitable bout of covid.

Being more on the introverted side, I actually found it to be exhausting after awhile, even though another part of me loved it and I could feel my overall sense of mood and wellbeing improving substantially. Something in the realm of 50-75% of that pace would probably be ideal for me.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#166

Post by joebergeron »

nixpulvis wrote: post #75

Last memorial day I tried to have a little BBQ... ended up eating and drinking by myself on/near the sidewalk in front of my apartment, while grilling and listening to a festive playlist with songs like Carry on my Wayward Son. I kept asking random people if they wanted a brat, but nobody did... until the guy towing my roommate's broken down car home arrived. The three of us shared one, the tow truck driver finished…

Hey, I know exactly where this is :) I lived around a ~30s walk from here until I moved to Boston proper a year ago. I lived in Somerville for ~6 years during school and after graduating, and I miss it sorely. Great little neighborhood. Would have happily stopped by and grabbed a brat if I were still there; funny how the woodwork is so full of interesting people, though we rarely stop to look.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#167

Post by vlod »

willtemperley wrote: post #120

I'm 43 and partying a lot on a beach in Thailand. I know many other software engineers and testers here who are doing the same, although the climbing around here (Krabi) does compete with our time. One friend works on corporate software while DJing psytrance on the beach.

Sounds like a blast. We've been thinking in moving to Thailand and was curious what the expat situation was like.

Do you have problems finding expats and making friends there?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#168

Post by starkd »

lolinder wrote: post #140
bmj wrote: post #79

I just turned 50. About 30 people showed up for the party my wife threw for me, and those were exactly the people I wanted to be there. I'm guessing my definition of "party" may be different from yours, but in the last two months, the community we've embedded ourselves in (via our church) has gotten together for my birthday, the darkest night of the year, and New Year's eve. These aren't raucous affairs, but rather 2…

> the community we've embedded ourselves in (via our church) I think you've hit on something important here. Without getting into the merits of religious belief , the rapid increase in loneliness seems to be strongly correlated with the rapid decrease in religiosity. There just aren't any institutions prepared to replace church communities. For my part, I get more than enough socialization through my church community…

We place so much emphasis on what we believe as a prerequisite for belonging to a religious community. Maybe its enough just to be hopeful those beliefs are true and suspend our doubts for a little while.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#169

Post by driscoll42 »

tarotuser wrote: post #147
nscalf wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure why you're getting downvoted, this is clearly correct. I still have many friends that I formed from working in the same office. For most American adults, the group you spend most of your time with is your coworkers. If you don't have a group hobby or activity outside of work, you have no mechanism to cycle new people in to your life in a setting which easily allows relationship building. There's a reason peo…

> For most American adults, the group you spend most of your time with is your coworkers. And that also guarantees that when you leave the company, you also leave your "friends". I wholly reject intertwining work and professional relationships with friend relationships. I certainly won't be mean to my colleagues... but my closest colleague is 600mi away. And that's OK. I do spend a bit of time with local groups for d…

On one level I agree with you that mingling work relationships with friendships is often fraught with issues of things bleeding over in a negative way. But let's be real, to do so takes much more effort, and especially for people who have kids, they don't really have much time to socialize with other adults than at work. Or some people they're exhausted after a day of work so if they want to have fun, easier to just talk to someone at work.
Post reply on HN