When I was teen I lent some high value items in online game, and of course they never got back.
I’m still thankful that I learnt the lesson online instead of in real life.
I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#162Well it took me borrowing one video game to learn that lesson. "No, you must've borrowed it to someone else" when I asked. First game I bought for my own pocket money, which at time, in Poland, was a lot for a kid as it was full price title, Baldur's Gate 1 in nice box with manual and a map, and dubbed gloriously with then-radio/TV stars, hell, the narrator voice was better than original. Needless to say I was pretty…
pożyczyć is both borrow and lend :) In English there's a difference of direction. "Kuba pożyczył moj długopis" - Jakub borrowed my pen "Kuba pożyczył mi jego długopos" - Jakub lent me his pen I'm learning Polish slowly, living in Warsaw...
Hindi has same word for yesterday and tomorrow, so you have to figure out from the tense and context which it is.
Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#163Earlier quoted context omitted.
Only for your edification, as your English is 1/0 (infinitely) better than my Polish. I believe you meant "lending / lent" in place of "borrowing / borrowed." We separate the words, so "to borrow" is to temporarily take the item, "to lend" is to temporarily give the item.
In Spanish they are the same word also -- "alquilar" -- "to rent" and "to rent out". Do any linguistics geeks reading have a word I can google for this phenomenon? That is, a word that means something like "a word or phrase that is bidirectional in one language but part of a unidirectional pair in another"
Also in Minnesota! (I'm joshing you Minnesotans, it's a lovely state full of wonderful people. I'll borrow you whatever you need any time. ;-p )
Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#164I loaned a close college friend $7000 last year. Due to life circumstances and lack of family resources, he was stuck in a rural area with no developer jobs. He was having trouble landing a remote job and I ignorantly asked why he wasn’t applying to in-person jobs on the west coast. He told me that he certainly wouldn’t be able to afford to move and I told him “don’t let that stop you”. Fronting him moving expenses w…
The risk of them not being able to pay you back and thus destroying the friendship is so high that I wouldn’t recommend this unless you are ok with losing that person as a friend OR you just give them the money without expectation of it being paid back.
If a friend can't pay you back for legitimate reasons, which I admit are subjective, you shouldn't let it affect your friendship.
If it does it says more about you than the friend
Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#165I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…
The Bronx Tale strategy: https://youtu.be/78-4RobJQ0Y
On the other hand, now everyone thinks you're an easy target to borrow money from, and they won't have to pay you back.
Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#166Earlier quoted context omitted.
Would telling them to go fuck themselves not be cheaper and easier? Edit: I don’t have fuck you money, so I am actually ignorant of the dynamic you’re describing. I’d rather be known as an asshole with backbone than a rich sap though. One of those looks more like a mark than the other.
> I’d rather be known as an asshole with backbone than a rich sap This may be your particular disposition, but it is by no means universal. Given these two choices, I would much rather be known as a rich sap. I think it’s important to note that a person can knowingly run the risk of being ripped off, not because they’re too stupid to know better, but because of their philosophical attitude toward money and how they r…
True, I guess my motivation is to break free of the crabs in the bucket that would bleed me of the success I’ve managed to acquire.
If one came from a different environment, material concerns might not be as pressing, and it might be a better strategy to placate said crabs in order to not lose one’s social standing.
Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#167Years ago, I had the crazy/stupid opportunity to start a night club in San Francisco. My dad said it would be a terrible idea, the business was hard, etc... but he also said he would help me out. Go dad, I'm lucky to have him. He had a piece of property that we could get a loan against, so we found a mortgage company that would give us the loan and went ahead.
Well, he was totally right, after years of trying, the business totally flopped and I had lost all of the money, as well as a ton of my own. It set my finances back at least a decade or more. Luckily, my dad has a lifelong friend who was willing to buy out the loan when it looked like the company was going to default, so now my debt was really to my dads friend.
Fast forward many years... my dad has retired and needs money. He's had trouble selling the property (although it looks like that is happening now in the next month or two). The property gained a lot of value over the years, so that is good. He will have enough to pay back the friend in full and a bunch left over for himself.
I've been paying my dad back as I can over the years and in recent times, reached the principle amount of the loan... now I'm paying the interest (the principle has ballooned more than 2x).
My current payments have been a lifesaver for him. It worked out that being able to pay him back now when he needs money the most, has been really helpful for him. Had I paid him back in full earlier, it might have been harder for him to come to me asking for a loan, now he has some steady cash flow from me. When the property sells, his friend will get paid back first and I'll just owe my dad the rest of the interest.
This has weighed on me for a long time and is something that I think about almost daily. It sucks owing money. I have no other debt than this. Some day, I'll be free of it and I can't wait for that day.
Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#168The advice that I have most commonly heard and that I follow. If I loan money to a friend then think of it as a gift instead of a loan. I have given serious amounts of money twice and unfortunately they avoid me like the plague. I wish that they knew that I will never mention it.
The advice is generally to MAKE it a gift - not secretly think of it as one. As you've experienced, the guilt can drive people apart from the borrower's side, even if you never ask for repayment, so you need to make it clear up from that none is expected.
Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#169Earlier quoted context omitted.
Sounds like McGee might not have got his fair share of Id's success. Maybe Carmack felt bad about that.
Eh. He was a junior designer when he was fired. And if Carmack felt bad about how McGee was being treated at the company Carmack owned, he could have done a lot more about that.
3/12/98
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American McGee has been let go from Id.
His past contributions include work in three of the all time great games
(DOOM 2, Quake, Quake 2), but we were not seeing what we wanted.Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me
#170Earlier quoted context omitted.
Only for your edification, as your English is 1/0 (infinitely) better than my Polish. I believe you meant "lending / lent" in place of "borrowing / borrowed." We separate the words, so "to borrow" is to temporarily take the item, "to lend" is to temporarily give the item.
In Spanish they are the same word also -- "alquilar" -- "to rent" and "to rent out". Do any linguistics geeks reading have a word I can google for this phenomenon? That is, a word that means something like "a word or phrase that is bidirectional in one language but part of a unidirectional pair in another"
I don't have an answer but English LOVES preposition-attached verbs.
You can use lent and borrowed in both directions (I lent X to him; he lent X to me -- I borrowed X from him; he borrowed X from me) so the main difference is not in whether the verbs can be used bidirectionally, but in how you indicate the direction.
I suspect Spanish (and maybe Polish) disambiguate in different ways, but disambiguate I'm sure they do!