161–170 of 213 posts
About 10 years ago he started a project with Ruby running on Graal before it was known as TruffleRuby. I still remember those HN submissions. SubstrateVM, Graal, The VM to rule it all. And as far as I am aware, he was the only one putting all papers about Ruby and Compilers Design in a single place [1]. I still remember a thread which I have bookmarked somewhere, where you have the lead of JVM, Graal, TruffleRuby, JS…
Apologies if this is the wrong time to ask, but there probably won't ever be a better one. I didn't know him, but often read his comments here. I frequently found them to be... frustrating. He seemed to have a particularly literalist bent, and would often seem to focus on small seemingly irrelevant inconsistencies rather the bigger argument. He usually wasn't wrong, but it made me wonder whether he was autistic, or o…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Like many mental illnesses, depression interferes with your perceptions. It's not that that love "wasn't enough", it's that a person deep in depression can't even accurately see or feel that love.
Depression might not even really be about love. Seems like aggression plays a big role in it too.
Apologies if this is the wrong time to ask, but there probably won't ever be a better one. I didn't know him, but often read his comments here. I frequently found them to be... frustrating. He seemed to have a particularly literalist bent, and would often seem to focus on small seemingly irrelevant inconsistencies rather the bigger argument. He usually wasn't wrong, but it made me wonder whether he was autistic, or o…
I think there's a lesson there. Comments are just that, comments. Try not to read too much into them, they are severely lacking in the necessary context. Assume good faith in the absence of something very explicit that suggests otherwise.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Like many mental illnesses, depression interferes with your perceptions. It's not that that love "wasn't enough", it's that a person deep in depression can't even accurately see or feel that love.
Depression might not even really be about love. Seems like aggression plays a big role in it too.
aggression turned outwards --> anger
aggression turned inwards --> depression
i wish some of these super smart people weren't so afraid of the harmless 'woo' that costs next to nothing, like read some old 70s book on primal scream into a pillow or try a radical keto meat diet or weird mental re-framings from people who are total quacks
The internet is full of 60 plus years of this stuff since the 60s, books and lectures and diy reprogramming you can find for free.
random 'outdated' books where 80 percent is fluff i've stumbled on one page of a random client story that just cut through time and space to reach me at that moment. I can't even remember the book title but I still remember the page layout, reading a paragraph at 2am and started bawling after feeling numb all year.
I've pieced together little bits of insight this way and each feel like growth and knowing some secret unconscious part of myself better. You never know what will crack the ice and get thru to you.
like who cares about evidence when that has gotten you nowhere in matters of the mind?
Hell, you can build a life going from placebo insight to insight if that's what it takes to keep on, why would that even be different than the lives on 'normal' people chasing hollow consumer goods?
it's still a life of trying things out to better know yourself and your world, which is plenty meaningful
Seeing some of the comments here how people valued him, it seems like maybe sometimes these sentiments of gratitude are not expressed until after someone passes. It works if folks cherish the time they have, and remind people of how they appreciate them while they're still on Earth in their body.
If he indeed committed suicide out of depression, I would imagine that maybe he realized after years of relative successes that nothing, no achievement, no appreciation/gratitude by others, will cure his depression. At least that wouldn’t be an uncommon pattern for high-intellect people with severe depression.
The real kicker is that the cure for this is not free either.
I'd say the cure is to starve the broken part of yourself that needs achievement to justify itself. To do that, you must consciously break the cycle of over-achievement and focus on well-being as a higher value over achievement. This is a lot of work, as you're patching up the hole that achievement was trying to fill, and it is slow going.
Eventually you can have a better relationship with achievement, but there's a cost: you no longer see it the same way, and other people can sometimes detect that about you. You'd choose your own well-being over achievement most times. Because it broke you once, it is harder to have the same hunger for it you once did. And that's good: it means you learned and you changed. (Sometimes I think the fact we can make these big changes at all is a profound miracle.) But, people can see that as aloofness, detachment, or disengaged. It is none of those things. It is kept at arms length the same way a former alcoholic might deal with a drink: extremely cautiously and deliberately.
It will forever be complicated.
Apologies if this is the wrong time to ask, but there probably won't ever be a better one. I didn't know him, but often read his comments here. I frequently found them to be... frustrating. He seemed to have a particularly literalist bent, and would often seem to focus on small seemingly irrelevant inconsistencies rather the bigger argument. He usually wasn't wrong, but it made me wonder whether he was autistic, or o…
Seems that the testimonials from others on here show that he was nothing but lovely, I don't think that making observations like that on a post like this is terribly appropriate though.