161–170 of 193 posts
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I do not want to diminish the importance of your perspective in any way, only to add that some in the #1 camp are teetering on the brink of "able to take care of self" and not withholding help to be cruel, but because they think helping might pull them over the cliff, too. Wellness has big steps sometimes, and if you tumble down a step it may take a long time to get back up, and your ability to help yourself, and any…
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Do you know of a single study that supports catharsis? Because all studies I know of disprove or end up inconclusive.
I know catharsis was extremely helpful in my grieving process. Realistically, I'm not sure how you would even design a study to accurately measure the effects. Any sort of cathartic experience would necessarily be self-reported and we all know the accuracy of self-report studies.
It sounds like the aggressive behavior was measured pretty soon after hitting the punching bag. It would be interesting to run the test again after the adrenaline has worn off. I don't think proponents of catharsis are claiming that screaming at a tree if going to instantly make you calmer, it's that later that day you might feel better. Also, participants were instructed to focus their anger on the perpetrator of th…
What if the punching bag is a person or pet or something able to hurt?
Sometimes their adrenaline never wears off so there is no test to run again.
From my purely anecdotal experience with mentoring younger people, I've seen two main categories of venting: 1) Venting about frustrations by talking them through with someone who will listen. This forces people to put their frustrations into words and elucidate the narrative as they put it into words. This can not only help people identify their feelings and work through them, but it also forces people to decide wha…
I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…
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I can see where you are coming from. At my work for instance, we will take on those with good people skills and the intelligence to learn the technical skills they are missing. We are reluctant to do it the other way round. We avoid those who have the technical skills but not the people skills because common wisdom and experience indicates it is much harder to teach the people skills… I would add that we are not equi…
This is valid and I don't blame you. Over the years, I've experienced both sides of that coin, and nobody could be rationally expected to put up with it. But it sure hurts to have spent a decade unable to leave my house or take basic care of myself while continuously being told I'm exaggerating, making it up, just lazy, and worse, by people who couldn't even imagine just how bad my issues are. I don't think I will ev…
Today I’m sort-of functional in that I show up to work every day, get most of my tasks done, and pay the bills. But I have very poor executive function and I’m really scared of dropping off the deep end again. Stories like yours scare me and inspire some disgust because I see the same tendency in myself and I don’t want to go there.
I also know that practically speaking prolonged engagement/discussion with someone having such issues is unlikely to help. Nor is providing suggestions or blame. There’s not much anyone can do. The best I can offer is, if there was ever a period of your life where you were happier or more functional, can you see how to switch to that mode again? And if there’s one big thing blocking you (the fatigue, in your case), maybe there’s a one-time action you can perform, like going to a doctor, that could help.
I’m not offering this advice to you specifically but just to anyone who might feel similarly stuck.