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Without parental leave I might be dead

nytimes.com

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Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#161

Post by bluesquared »

TheCapn wrote: post #70

My first child is due January. I sat down with my boss about a month or so ago and told him I'm intending to take parental leave. "No problem" he said, I told him my intention was to take the full 8 weeks I'm entitled to. He didn't say anything right away to that... eventually it was more of a "...that's not typical for the guys around here" We did a bit of back and forth. (I think he went to HR to find out he can't…

I have an 18-mo old now. My company "generously" offers 2 weeks of paid parental leave. I went through similar conversations as you, only I was merely asking to use 2 weeks of PTO after my 2 weeks of paid parental leave for a total of 1 month of time off. My management and HR refused that request, I was told that my option was take the 2 weeks of paid leave and then you can take unpaid leave (the legally mandated FMLA). Due to "project schedule" they could refuse my PTO but legally they were not allowed to deny unpaid FMLA. Truly a despicable amount of leverage. I was also told by my manager at the time how atypical my requested amount of time was and was asked why I needed that much time since I wasn't the one giving birth. I too am astonished at the typical amount of parental leave used/requested by men in the US. It seems like a very deep cultural issue.

I have no loyalty and have just been biding my time. I've been just comfortable enough so far, but things haven't been great in a few aspects. They were not hard up for coverage and my absence, which should have been planned for far in advance, would not have effected the schedule in any manner.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#163

Post by OJFord »

Fire-Dragon-DoL wrote: post #88
bko wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Given that _every_ other "civilised" country has some sort of rudimentary care for new parents, which doesn't acutally cost that much, I can't see any reasonable objection to not having it. Giving a special benefit that will for the most part only be exercised by women discourages hiring women. You can still think its worth it, but don't pretend like you're baffled by anyone who would object or question how this im…

Give the benefits to dads too. 4 weeks for the first kid is challenging. It could be different for 2+ kids, but remember that every child has a few complications when they are born, that. Fade away after a while.

It is in the UK, or rather it's given to both, and up to them how they split it.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#164

Post by teddyh »

charcircuit wrote: post #146
teddyh wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

May I suggest these informative articles? • 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Poor , May 27, 2011: https://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-nobody-tells-you-about... • The 5 Stupidest Habits You Develop Growing Up Poor , January 19, 2012: https://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-stupidest-habits-you-deve... • 4 Things Politicians Will Never Understand About Poor People , February 21, 2013: https://www.cracked.com/blog/4-t…

1. Okay 2. This article would be better for poor people to read. 3. Okay

> 2. This article would be better for poor people to read.

It’s also useful for non-poor people to know how poor people are conditioned to think and behave.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#165

Post by timssopomo »

bko wrote: post #59
KaiserPro wrote: post #28

I really cant understand the logic of forcing women back into work after 2-4 weeks. Its just not beneficial for anyone. The mum is utterly frazzled. The employer gets half an employee back Society is conditioned to think that the only practical way to raise a baby is to give up on work/get live in care. now, to look at it from a "my mum managed, I don't want to undermine the american nuclear family" point of view: Ye…

> Given that _every_ other "civilised" country has some sort of rudimentary care for new parents, which doesn't acutally cost that much, I can't see any reasonable objection to not having it. Giving a special benefit that will for the most part only be exercised by women discourages hiring women. You can still think its worth it, but don't pretend like you're baffled by anyone who would object or question how this im…

https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SL.TLF.CACT.FE.ZS?view=...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_pay_gap#/media/File:OEC...

Seems like countries with paid leave have comparable or higher rates of labor participation and (on average) lower gender pay gap.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#166

Post by kchl »

the-dude wrote: post #158
KaiserPro wrote: post #28

I really cant understand the logic of forcing women back into work after 2-4 weeks. Its just not beneficial for anyone. The mum is utterly frazzled. The employer gets half an employee back Society is conditioned to think that the only practical way to raise a baby is to give up on work/get live in care. now, to look at it from a "my mum managed, I don't want to undermine the american nuclear family" point of view: Ye…

Not all women are equal. I have seen women who gave birth just a couple of weeks before, thriving & bursting of energy in the workplace.

I beseech anyone to take a comment on this subject from someone who chose “the dude” as his handle with a big, big grain of salt, and to note that this dude totally missed the point of this editorial.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#167

Post by the-dude »

kchl wrote: post #166
the-dude wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not all women are equal. I have seen women who gave birth just a couple of weeks before, thriving & bursting of energy in the workplace.

I beseech anyone to take a comment on this subject from someone who chose “the dude” as his handle with a big, big grain of salt, and to note that this dude totally missed the point of this editorial.

Totally not cool ad hominem. Very undude.

Also, I replied to a comment, not at the top level.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#168

Post by sershe »

KaiserPro wrote: post #28

I really cant understand the logic of forcing women back into work after 2-4 weeks. Its just not beneficial for anyone. The mum is utterly frazzled. The employer gets half an employee back Society is conditioned to think that the only practical way to raise a baby is to give up on work/get live in care. now, to look at it from a "my mum managed, I don't want to undermine the american nuclear family" point of view: Ye…

That doesn't start with the right premise. An employee might be frazzled after a night of partying but nobody advocates for "hangover leave"... I don't understand what the point is in society indulging and encouraging somebody's child-rearing hobby when it doesn't need population growth; moreover given the carbon impact of a first world child and potential supply of immigrants willing to move here, it might want to actively discourage it.

EDIT2: for the meta, I don't care about points, I just find downvoting-as-disagreeing without a response to argument in extremely bad taste. And I am smug because I believe it indicates the disagree-er admits that I am right ;)

EDIT: thanks for the downvotes! I assume these are insulted parents who feel like they are making a great contribution to society, but don't have a real argument to respond. Sorry, you are not. It's a hobby. Nobody else cares any more than they do for a cool ski run or an amateur documentary. Get over yourself.

Re: Without parental leave I might be dead

#169

Post by nzmsv »

the-dude wrote: post #158
KaiserPro wrote: post #28

I really cant understand the logic of forcing women back into work after 2-4 weeks. Its just not beneficial for anyone. The mum is utterly frazzled. The employer gets half an employee back Society is conditioned to think that the only practical way to raise a baby is to give up on work/get live in care. now, to look at it from a "my mum managed, I don't want to undermine the american nuclear family" point of view: Ye…

Not all women are equal. I have seen women who gave birth just a couple of weeks before, thriving & bursting of energy in the workplace.

Sucks to be the kid of these bursting energy balls though. Hope the kid has a nanny or a grandmother who isn't like that.
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