Poorly. I have too much damn time to think and not enough things to do to distract me from my thoughrs..
Ask HN: How are you holding up?
161–170 of 398 posts
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#162I'm a compsci undergrad with no social life.
My daily social exchanges were limited to my colleages at university and room mates, and for the past five months I've been sitting alone at my desk procrastinating, scrolling down reddit and HN numbed of my senses. I've since discovered that these people don't really care about me, as no one bothers to even send me the occasional message or call.
I've been dodging bullets at college, yet still receiving praises and oportunities from my professors and actually every real and functioning adult (unlike me) regarding my "skills" on programming and music. Opportunities which, interestingly enough, actually make me feel worthless because I always feel like a fraud and that I'm not good enough for anything.
I have no job, no income, no dreams or aspirations and being trapped here, unable to do anything to distract myself (talk to colleages, Grindr hookups), has me constantly thinking of how empty and devoid of personality and life I am.
My mother is every day more verbal about wanting me out of the house (despite me paying the bills using the government grant intended to pay for college), and in the midst of it all I've been trying to fix my relationship with my father to find he only wants me as a tool for legal benefits (due to my parents' divorce).
I keep myself fantasizing about suicide, but it's okay because at least I'm confident enough I'm not (that) stupid. Also, my "problems" are just part of a temporary state of mind and don't even compare to real problems many people are going through everywhere.
Thanks for asking, op. Writing all these things down actually clears up my mind a bit.
[edit: formatting]
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#163Really badly, but could be worse. I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me. I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior…
> I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. I think this will resonate with a significant subset of the HN crowd. I really thrive on externally-enforced structure (didn't take long to discover I made a terrible entrepreneur, but found a good niche as a startup employee). I've set my life up around having different events and places I need to be: classes at my gym, to…
> I've set my life up around having different events and places I need to be
Yes ! This was exactly it.
The 2nd half of 2019 was some of the best time of my life because of this.
It's been quite jarring to see how instantly my mental health deteriorated the second the lock down started.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#164Really strange. In some aspects it's been great, in others terrible.
On the plus side, not having to commute, cooking more at home and generally having more time (because a lot of things we used to do we can't any more) has been great. Also fortunately I am employed and my company is doing well.
On the other hand, monotony has really set in, where each day feels the same. Despite cooking more I'm less healthy now than before, because I sit in the same chair most of the day and have been exercising a lot less than before (used to play group sports). I really miss traveling and exploring new places. And lastly haven't really interacted socially with anyone besides my girlfriend since this thing started. I've also been spending a lot more time than I should on news and social media, I guess as a way to feel connected to the world.
All in all it's been an interesting ride but I want off now.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#165Years ago, I visited the zoo in Central Park in NYC and watched a polar bear, as it swam around and around in a pool. It swam in a triangle, touching the three same points on the wall of the enclosure as it made each circuit. Last month I walked around Greenwich Park in London 125 times, each time following exactly the same route. I thought about that polar bear a lot as I walked.
Can really related to this. I've been walking the same set of paths at the same places too. I've also started to recognize the "regulars" there too. A lot of us seem to be doing the same circuit at the same time.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#166I’m fine, thanks.
Working from home is great, but I already did that. It kinda sucks to be somewhat locked at home, but I just focus on my job and wait for this to pass.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#167The virus came around as I was finishing my last semester of undergrad. I began with a surprising boost in productivity and an elevated enjoyment in my coursework, but as I began applying for jobs the situation became a little more real to me. The lack of a graduation ceremony, virtual or in-person, didn't help either.
My drive certainly isn't what it was a few months ago, but I'm thankful to have reasonable social and emotional health and to be working part-time while I look for something full-time, and I may be entering grad school for mech eng this fall if nothing comes through. I'd welcome any comments or suggestions from those of you who have been through grad school or job searching during recessions.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#168On March 15th, I landed in Sydney for what I thought was a quick, 14 day business trip. Little did I know that for the next three months I'll have to perform an already tough job from the confines of a room, barely meeting any human beings, away from my family. There were days I thought I was going to lose it. I managed to basically distract myself by working nonstop. Finally back in my home country.
On the plus side, the experience made me realize that the human brain, much like modern commercial aircraft, has a lot of excess/untapped capacity that can be called upon in an emergency. I wrote this based on my experience: https://medium.com/@h_liyan/finding-time-db449c8f8c10
Overall, I think in the very long run, COVID-19 was good for the world's soul, so to speak. I think we realized some things, both as individuals and as a species.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#169I'm a compsci undergrad with no social life. My daily social exchanges were limited to my colleages at university and room mates, and for the past five months I've been sitting alone at my desk procrastinating, scrolling down reddit and HN numbed of my senses. I've since discovered that these people don't really care about me, as no one bothers to even send me the occasional message or call. I've been dodging bullets…
I've been there, and I'm sure a few others here have too. You're on the right track, things will look up soon enough.
Re: Ask HN: How are you holding up?
#170Pretty good.
Things went pretty well in Germany and since I already worked from home since 2014, my work wasn't affected. I started a lecturer gig at a local university, but they gave me total freedom to do it remote.
I was lucky in many ways.
I moved in a new flat end of January, where I could have a dedicated home office and home gym.
Because I'm not a very social person, I was okay with not going to events anymore.
I'm also polyamor, so I had 4 partners I could met in that time, which helped a lot.