The Secret to a Happy Marriage: Do the Dishes, Put Out, Don’t Talk So Much

Post by jobrahms » Tue, Feb 15, 2011, 4:33 PM UTC

yummyfajitas wrote: post #148

jobrahms wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You overlook the fact that making effort (and most importantly following through) gets you sex. Happy wife = happy life. It's not beneath you to try to make your partner happy. And if she responds the way you're implying - I'm sorry, something is probably wrong with her.

You overlook the fact that making effort (and most importantly following through) gets you sex Not in my experience. As for your "happy wife = happy life" theory, I'd strongly suggest running very fast away from women who implement this theory. You don't want people in your life who will drag you down to their level. if she responds the way you're implying - I'm sorry, something is probably wrong with her. In that ca…

Post by Afton » Tue, Feb 15, 2011, 4:51 PM UTC

jobrahms wrote: post #160

loewenskind wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Happy wife = happy life I hate this phrase, it's the battle cry of those who do whatever their wife says and laugh with their buddies about how whipped they are. Marriage is a balancing act. Of course you have to change and give in where appropriate but if you do everything she says she wants you will lower her opinion of you (as it should, since you're a coward).

Happy wife = happy life only works if your wife thinks "Happy husband = happy life". The premise of the phrase, for me, is that you're actually married to the right person. But way to read too far into a silly little phrase and call me a coward, Mr. Anonymous Internet Man.

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Feb 15, 2011, 5:03 PM UTC

haploid wrote: post #38

_h4xr wrote: post #26

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I recommend The Red Queen if you want to start learning about this. The short answer: men largely choose mates based on looks; women choose based more on social status. Signalling low social status reduces male attractiveness; signalling high social status raises it. n = 1, but this has worked for me. Deliberately act like you can take it or leave it, and you're unlikely to be left. (And note that women initiate the…

Both you and yummyfajitas are making the classic error of espousing an unpopular opinion amongst people who tend to irrationally believe magical romantic things about evolved bags of meat. It's a fairly well established biological fact( caveat - there are of course exceptions )that female primates, including humans, respond sexually favorably toward high status behavior on the part of males. The Red Queen is a good b…

Post by tertius » Tue, Feb 15, 2011, 5:37 PM UTC

sin7 wrote: post #121

tertius wrote: post #62

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You are in error sir. Marriage Satisfaction = Fighting (or Total Conflict) - Unresolved Conflict Conflict among other things brings you closer together. A couple who "fight" well will stay together.

I was a little off. I could not remember the actual heuristic. marital happiness = rate of lovemaking - rate of arguments Source: http://books.google.com/books?id=_0H8gwj4a1MC&pg=PA393&#...

Post by wanderful » Tue, Feb 15, 2011, 9:05 PM UTC

bartonfink wrote: post #17

abalashov wrote: post #13

This is the first popular publication article I've seen that has given the very important cognitive overload aspect of nagging--and especially multi-pronged nagging litany, which seems to be the most common kind--the treatment it deserves: But when it comes to nagging reminders about what your spouse still has to do after a long day working for the man—take out the recycling, walk the dog, write a thank-you letter, d…

Now I just need to figure out a good way to pass that hint along to my wife without her inferring that I hate her and don't ever want to speak to her about anything.