161–170 of 363 posts
Well, it won't be sshd because everyone knows that. But you get it.
If it's not there, I'll say something like "I noticed you didn't discuss X here, what was your thought process?"
The final suggestions are good, much better than "why didn't you just". The problem comes when your initial thought is actually a good idea, and your colleague could actually have saved some time. This happens a lot in the interaction between senior and junior engineers. For those situations, it's not great to be asking for an explanation on the spot, because then the explanation is just "I'm an idiot/ignorant of tha…
If you get to "Why didn't you just...?" not only have you questioned their competence, but you've also undermined your own competence by allowing them to proceed with work they didn't need to do and/or may have to redo.
I would feel offended if anyone would feel the need to go easy on me, just say what you think. And if you are right I will be eternally grateful for being taught a new efficient trick. Do I look like such a weak person to you that you feel like you have to handle my self esteem with silk gloves? Thanks for the insult. And what is it with this 2 intentions? The third is the obvious correct one where I'm not familiar w…
I don't mind the phrasing "why didn't you just" too much, but the phrase "why don't we just ... X" drives me crazy. The passive assumption that "just X" is obviously better and simpler than the current idea under discussion is insulting. Part of the problem is it lazily puts the onus on everybody else to explain why the proposal is a bad idea at zero intellectual cost to the proposer. eg: Why don't we just use a json…
This sounds like "ask vs guess culture" is at play.
As with the OP, I think context matters a lot. I can imagine environments where it should be okay to ask questions without thought, or environments where some understanding or consideration is expected before asking a question.
What you describe does sound annoying: guessing a simple solution without putting effort into understanding the problem (which everyone else understands). And the opposite extreme would be only 'asking' questions only for confirmation/verification of an answer.
The problem here is that the author assumes that the person he is addressing is a total moron for not using sshd, so he is afraid that his question is going to be badly taken. Most people when asked “why didn’t you just xxx” would answer in 3 ways: 1. Oh shit, you’re right, I’m such an idiot... oh well... 2. Because yyy 3. I don’t know xxx, can you show me? The issue is that people feel the intention behind your ques…
"Did you try sshd?"
- Asking them why did you pick X? (here you might get an answer why you didn't pick Y) - Telling them that you tried Y and it worked for you.
So it's understanding their process and sharing your experience. I think in the end you should have the engineer decide on his own.
In the end they might go with X anyways, so you'll need to react to that.
I've had an engineer going for X for 14 days, but every time we had a discussion I've asked additional questions about X for me (and them) to understand why going for X is a better approach. In the end he figured it out that Y is a better approach. While it took a while, the engineering person in the end figured it out and took the solution for his.
I've also had cases where this didn't work out, but in those cases I've put my foot down saying you need to use Y to the person. It's also the case that person is not with us anymore.